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Clips from The Muppet Show - Judy Collins (S02E02)

TV Specials 1976 Season 2, Episode 5 32 min ★ 8.0/10 (6,921 ratings) 319 clips
Family Comedy Music

Episodes from this show

- [explosion] - [yelps]
"- [explosion] - [yelps]"
The Muppet Show
[cackling] You weren't ready for that!
"[cackling] You weren't ready for that!"
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[applause, whistling]
"[applause, whistling]"
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♪ It's time to play the music It's time to light the light ♪
"♪ It's time to play the music It's time to light the light ♪"
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♪ It's time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight ♪
"♪ It's time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight ♪"
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♪ It's time to get things started ♪
"♪ It's time to get things started ♪"
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♪ On the most sensational inspirational ♪
"♪ On the most sensational inspirational ♪"
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OK. Thank you, thank you, thank you,
"OK. Thank you, thank you, thank you,"
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and welcome to The Muppet Show.
"and welcome to The Muppet Show."
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Oh, him.
"Oh, him."
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Oh, hello there.
"Oh, hello there."
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I have to go and sing now with the woodpecker.
"I have to go and sing now with the woodpecker."
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Oh, boy, look who's here.
"Oh, boy, look who's here."
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the fetching First Mate Miss Piggy,
"the fetching First Mate Miss Piggy,"
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and the ubiquitous Dr. Julius Strangepork.
"and the ubiquitous Dr. Julius Strangepork."
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Oh, isn't this electrifying?
"Oh, isn't this electrifying?"
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Dr. Strangepork, ready to count me down?
"Dr. Strangepork, ready to count me down?"
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Oh, Captain Link, would it be all right
"Oh, Captain Link, would it be all right"
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- I know, I know! - Five seconds.
"- I know, I know! - Five seconds."
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[explosion]
"[explosion]"
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Uh... Ladies and gentlemen...
"Uh... Ladies and gentlemen..."
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[explosion]
"[explosion]"
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Wonderful! Yes!
"Wonderful! Yes!"
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- Wonderful. - Yes, but I swallowed my gum.
"- Wonderful. - Yes, but I swallowed my gum."
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[both laughing]
"[both laughing]"
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Wha...!
"Wha...!"
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There it was, folks.
"There it was, folks."
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Oh, look, it's Scooter's uncle, the famous J.P. Grosse.
"Oh, look, it's Scooter's uncle, the famous J.P. Grosse."
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[♪ Call Me Irresponsible ]
"[♪ Call Me Irresponsible ]"
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Ahh!
"Ahh!"
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Thank you. I'm pleased to be here.
"Thank you. I'm pleased to be here."
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We try to blend in with the crowd as best we can.
"We try to blend in with the crowd as best we can."
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Yeah, but... but you can't do this!
"Yeah, but... but you can't do this!"
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Uh, by the way, where is your friend?
"Uh, by the way, where is your friend?"
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Well, uh, it gets me out of the house.
"Well, uh, it gets me out of the house."
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There's the symphony, the ballet, the opera.
"There's the symphony, the ballet, the opera."
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- No! - Yes.
"- No! - Yes."
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...lettuce.
"...lettuce."
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- Bored! - Bored!
"- Bored! - Bored!"
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[applause]
"[applause]"
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- [yells] - [crashes]
"- [yells] - [crashes]"
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[knocking]
"[knocking]"
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Judy Collins. Oh, 15 seconds to curtain, Miss Collins.
"Judy Collins. Oh, 15 seconds to curtain, Miss Collins."
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I'm ready. I'm ready for anything.
"I'm ready. I'm ready for anything."
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[drumroll]
"[drumroll]"
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It's The Muppet Show, with our very special guest star Miss Judy Collins!
"It's The Muppet Show, with our very special guest star Miss Judy Collins!"
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♪ It's time to put on makeup It's time to dress up right ♪
"♪ It's time to put on makeup It's time to dress up right ♪"
The Muppet Show
♪ It's time to get things started ♪
"♪ It's time to get things started ♪"
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Do we have to watch this?
"Do we have to watch this?"
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♪ Celebrational Muppetational ♪
"♪ Celebrational Muppetational ♪"
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♪ This is what we call The Muppet Show! ♪
"♪ This is what we call The Muppet Show! ♪"
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[off-key honking]
"[off-key honking]"
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Hey, we really have a terrific show for you tonight because we have with us
"Hey, we really have a terrific show for you tonight because we have with us"
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one of the most beautiful and talented singers in the entire world.
"one of the most beautiful and talented singers in the entire world."
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Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you."
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It's about time you said something nice about me.
"It's about time you said something nice about me."
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Uh, Piggy, I... I was referring to Miss Judy Collins.
"Uh, Piggy, I... I was referring to Miss Judy Collins."
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Uh, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Judy Collins.
"Uh, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Judy Collins."
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[♪ Leatherwing Bat ]
"[♪ Leatherwing Bat ]"
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Find out what "how dow di-di-dit doe dum" means.
"Find out what "how dow di-di-dit doe dum" means."
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I will.
"I will."
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What does "how dow di-di-dit doe" mean?
"What does "how dow di-di-dit doe" mean?"
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- Go sing with the owl! - Ooh!
"- Go sing with the owl! - Ooh!"
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[applause, whistling]
"[applause, whistling]"
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You know, when I see that Judy Collins, I'm glad I left my wife.
"You know, when I see that Judy Collins, I'm glad I left my wife."
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- You left your wife? - Yeah, I left her at home.
"- You left your wife? - Yeah, I left her at home."
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[both laughing]
"[both laughing]"
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Yeah, well, sell the hotel on Pennsylvania Avenue,
"Yeah, well, sell the hotel on Pennsylvania Avenue,"
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buy all your railroads, forget the 200 and let 'em go straight to jail. Right.
"buy all your railroads, forget the 200 and let 'em go straight to jail. Right."
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Oh, Kermit, you know my uncle.
"Oh, Kermit, you know my uncle."
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J.P. Grosse. Yeah, I own the theater, the ground it stands on
"J.P. Grosse. Yeah, I own the theater, the ground it stands on"
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Uh, kid, make a note,
"Uh, kid, make a note,"
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see if we own the frog. If not, take an option.
"see if we own the frog. If not, take an option."
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Well, J.P., I suppose you're here on a little inspection tour.
"Well, J.P., I suppose you're here on a little inspection tour."
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Yeah, well, you could call it that.
"Yeah, well, you could call it that."
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Attendance is up, revenue is up. Just about everything is up.
"Attendance is up, revenue is up. Just about everything is up."
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Yeah, well, the theater's coming down.
"Yeah, well, the theater's coming down."
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- What? - Tearing it down to put in a junkyard.
"- What? - Tearing it down to put in a junkyard."
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[stuttering] Yeah, but why?
"[stuttering] Yeah, but why?"
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Because there's more money in real junk than this junk you got here.
"Because there's more money in real junk than this junk you got here."
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- Come on, kid, this well's dry. - [whimpering]
"- Come on, kid, this well's dry. - [whimpering]"
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Uh, don't forget the option on the frog. Get a lien on his legs.
"Uh, don't forget the option on the frog. Get a lien on his legs."
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I think my stock just dropped.
"I think my stock just dropped."
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[beeping]
"[beeping]"
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[announcer] And now, Pigs in Space.
"[announcer] And now, Pigs in Space."
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Featuring the stout-hearted Captain Link Hogthrob,
"Featuring the stout-hearted Captain Link Hogthrob,"
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Last week the spaceship Swinetrek was rapidly approaching
"Last week the spaceship Swinetrek was rapidly approaching"
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the electrifying mid-course correction maneuver.
"the electrifying mid-course correction maneuver."
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Stand by for mid-course correction.
"Stand by for mid-course correction."
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if I performed the mid-course correction?
"if I performed the mid-course correction?"
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- Well... - After all,
"- Well... - After all,"
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I did go to school for this particular maneuver for 11 years.
"I did go to school for this particular maneuver for 11 years."
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Still, you are a woman.
"Still, you are a woman."
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Yes, captain, just as you are a man.
"Yes, captain, just as you are a man."
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Technically, you're both pigs, but we know what you're talking about.
"Technically, you're both pigs, but we know what you're talking about."
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Oh, captain, may I please perform the maneuver?
"Oh, captain, may I please perform the maneuver?"
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Oh, thank you, Herr Capitán! Oh!
"Oh, thank you, Herr Capitán! Oh!"
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Twenty-five seconds to mid-course correction.
"Twenty-five seconds to mid-course correction."
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- Now, First Mate Piggy, - Hmm?
"- Now, First Mate Piggy, - Hmm?"
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Don't forget which button to push.
"Don't forget which button to push."
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Huh, I know which button to push.
"Huh, I know which button to push."
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I studied it for 11 years.
"I studied it for 11 years."
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Fifteen seconds.
"Fifteen seconds."
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- It's this button right here. - I know it's that button.
"- It's this button right here. - I know it's that button."
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- Ten seconds. - Push it when he tells you.
"- Ten seconds. - Push it when he tells you."
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- Don't panic. - Will you shut up?!
"- Don't panic. - Will you shut up?!"
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Don't tell me to shut up. I'm your captain.
"Don't tell me to shut up. I'm your captain."
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Now! Push the button! Push the button!
"Now! Push the button! Push the button!"
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- Push the button! - I will! Don't shout! I'm a lady!
"- Push the button! - I will! Don't shout! I'm a lady!"
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If you don't push that button, I'll push it myself.
"If you don't push that button, I'll push it myself."
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You pushed the wrong button, bacon brain.
"You pushed the wrong button, bacon brain."
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I spent 11 years learning which button to push
"I spent 11 years learning which button to push"
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and you pushed one of those other buttons.
"and you pushed one of those other buttons."
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Captain, you know what that means?
"Captain, you know what that means?"
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- Not...? - Yes, I'm afraid so.
"- Not...? - Yes, I'm afraid so."
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You don't mean...?
"You don't mean...?"
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- Yes, undoubtedly. - Yes, undoubtedly.
"- Yes, undoubtedly. - Yes, undoubtedly."
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Does this mean...?
"Does this mean...?"
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[all] Yes, it does.
"[all] Yes, it does."
The Muppet Show
[announcer] Tune in next week and miss the continuation of...
"[announcer] Tune in next week and miss the continuation of..."
The Muppet Show