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Clips from Dr. Ken - Pilot (S01E01)

TV Series 2015 –2017 Season 1, Episode 1 21 min ★ 5.7/10 (4,587 ratings) 503 clips
Comedy

Episodes from this show

Hey, relax with the upsell, buddy.
"Hey, relax with the upsell, buddy."
Dr. Ken
That was a good one. Hold on a second.
"That was a good one. Hold on a second."
Dr. Ken
Um, what do you think might alleviate your stress?
"Um, what do you think might alleviate your stress?"
Dr. Ken
Wow.
"Wow."
Dr. Ken
But she's not you.
"But she's not you."
Dr. Ken
She's growing up. We got to give her some freedom.
"She's growing up. We got to give her some freedom."
Dr. Ken
You sound like your father.
"You sound like your father."
Dr. Ken
My father sounds like this.
"My father sounds like this."
Dr. Ken
I'm rehearsing.
"I'm rehearsing."
Dr. Ken
Lay it on me.
"Lay it on me."
Dr. Ken
Dave, I don't think it's lame.
"Dave, I don't think it's lame."
Dr. Ken
And this is what he wants to do.
"And this is what he wants to do."
Dr. Ken
Ungh!
"Ungh!"
Dr. Ken
Suck it, los Angeles!
"Suck it, los Angeles!"
Dr. Ken
Anyway, I was thinking tomorrow night
"Anyway, I was thinking tomorrow night"
Dr. Ken
Sure. I think there's...
"Sure. I think there's..."
Dr. Ken
Ugh!
"Ugh!"
Dr. Ken
You're right... I love these kids.
"You're right... I love these kids."
Dr. Ken
Not now, son. A little busy.
"Not now, son. A little busy."
Dr. Ken
Why would I increase my chances of an accident by 46%?
"Why would I increase my chances of an accident by 46%?"
Dr. Ken
she could easily be Tammy like nine times over.
"she could easily be Tammy like nine times over."
Dr. Ken
and if she says she's studying, that's where she is.
"and if she says she's studying, that's where she is."
Dr. Ken
Or that "nightline"
"Or that "nightline""
Dr. Ken
Yes!
"Yes!"
Dr. Ken
Oh, thank god! Someone with a conscience!
"Oh, thank god! Someone with a conscience!"
Dr. Ken
I need your pass code.
"I need your pass code."
Dr. Ken
Does it say anything yet?
"Does it say anything yet?"
Dr. Ken
Ken.
"Ken."
Dr. Ken
you're an administrator, not a doctor.
"you're an administrator, not a doctor."
Dr. Ken
And if I don't?
"And if I don't?"
Dr. Ken
I'm not apologizing to anyone.
"I'm not apologizing to anyone."
Dr. Ken
Ah! App's downloaded.
"Ah! App's downloaded."
Dr. Ken
Molly's over at Avery's.
"Molly's over at Avery's."
Dr. Ken
I mean, give a girl some freedom, yo.
"I mean, give a girl some freedom, yo."
Dr. Ken
My super-hot therapist.
"My super-hot therapist."
Dr. Ken
I'm having several extramarital affairs.
"I'm having several extramarital affairs."
Dr. Ken
No! Don't!
"No! Don't!"
Dr. Ken
I'm-a get in the mini-van,
"I'm-a get in the mini-van,"
Dr. Ken
Perfect.
"Perfect."
Dr. Ken
It's a massive release of serotonin
"It's a massive release of serotonin"
Dr. Ken
You want Molly or not?
"You want Molly or not?"
Dr. Ken
Here. This is all the money I have.
"Here. This is all the money I have."
Dr. Ken
But I couldn't do it.
"But I couldn't do it."
Dr. Ken
Avery went.
"Avery went."
Dr. Ken
I know that was out loud, so I'm sorry for that.
"I know that was out loud, so I'm sorry for that."
Dr. Ken
Um...
"Um..."
Dr. Ken
I ended up getting that colonoscopy you recommended.
"I ended up getting that colonoscopy you recommended."
Dr. Ken
♪ Dancing through the fire ♪
"♪ Dancing through the fire ♪"
Dr. Ken
♪ oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh ♪
"♪ oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh ♪"
Dr. Ken
♪ you're gonna... ♪
"♪ you're gonna... ♪"
Dr. Ken
My daughter has the same name
"My daughter has the same name"
Dr. Ken
as a Class-A controlled substance.
"as a Class-A controlled substance."
Dr. Ken
Ah! Cocaine!
"Ah! Cocaine!"
Dr. Ken
It's a beautiful name. Very unique.
"It's a beautiful name. Very unique."
Dr. Ken
Oh, Molly, are you okay?
"Oh, Molly, are you okay?"
Dr. Ken
Better than you.
"Better than you."
Dr. Ken
Boy, did I let this one slip away from me, huh?
"Boy, did I let this one slip away from me, huh?"
Dr. Ken
I mean, today started out so normal!
"I mean, today started out so normal!"
Dr. Ken
Oh, man.
"Oh, man."
Dr. Ken
Oh, even when I'm right, I'm wrong.
"Oh, even when I'm right, I'm wrong."
Dr. Ken
You weren't right.
"You weren't right."
Dr. Ken
She never went to the rave.
"She never went to the rave."
Dr. Ken
What? I was gonna go.
"What? I was gonna go."
Dr. Ken
Aha!
"Aha!"
Dr. Ken
Aha!
"Aha!"
Dr. Ken
I lent her my jacket and left my phone in the pocket.
"I lent her my jacket and left my phone in the pocket."
Dr. Ken
Classic Avery.
"Classic Avery."
Dr. Ken
I just worry, and I never want anything
"I just worry, and I never want anything"
Dr. Ken
Your father loves you very much, cocaine.
"Your father loves you very much, cocaine."
Dr. Ken
Okay, why don't you two wait over by the sleeping drunk?
"Okay, why don't you two wait over by the sleeping drunk?"
Dr. Ken
Can we touch him?
"Can we touch him?"
Dr. Ken
No.
"No."
Dr. Ken
Okay, full disclosure, I'm not nailing all your friends.
"Okay, full disclosure, I'm not nailing all your friends."
Dr. Ken
Although I do think about Mary a lot.
"Although I do think about Mary a lot."
Dr. Ken
Um...
"Um..."
Dr. Ken
But you were right.
"But you were right."
Dr. Ken
From now on, we're a team.
"From now on, we're a team."
Dr. Ken
I know we have very, very different approaches,
"I know we have very, very different approaches,"
Dr. Ken
but it can't be us against each other.
"but it can't be us against each other."
Dr. Ken
Absolutely.
"Absolutely."
Dr. Ken
It's got to be us against them.
"It's got to be us against them."
Dr. Ken
I mean, the little one is fine,
"I mean, the little one is fine,"
Dr. Ken
but the one with the license scares the crap out of me.
"but the one with the license scares the crap out of me."
Dr. Ken
- I love you. - I love you, too.
"- I love you. - I love you, too."
Dr. Ken
Oh!
"Oh!"
Dr. Ken
Mm!
"Mm!"
Dr. Ken
This just feels right.
"This just feels right."
Dr. Ken
Okay. All right. All right. Very funny.
"Okay. All right. All right. Very funny."
Dr. Ken
Okay. Back to work.
"Okay. Back to work."
Dr. Ken
You all had your fun.
"You all had your fun."
Dr. Ken
Indeed we have.
"Indeed we have."
Dr. Ken
Oh, and speaking of fun,
"Oh, and speaking of fun,"
Dr. Ken
look who's here, undoubtedly for his apology.
"look who's here, undoubtedly for his apology."
Dr. Ken
Um, circumstances in my personal life...
"Um, circumstances in my personal life..."
Dr. Ken
He did time.
"He did time."
Dr. Ken
Have led me to realize that on rare occasions,
"Have led me to realize that on rare occasions,"
Dr. Ken
I can be wrong.
"I can be wrong."
Dr. Ken
Actually, you were right.
"Actually, you were right."
Dr. Ken
Of course I was. I'm never wrong.
"Of course I was. I'm never wrong."
Dr. Ken
Turns out I had a pre-malignant polyp,
"Turns out I had a pre-malignant polyp,"
Dr. Ken
which they removed, but the specialist said
"which they removed, but the specialist said"
Dr. Ken
that if I had waited,
"that if I had waited,"
Dr. Ken
it would have turned into colon cancer.
"it would have turned into colon cancer."
Dr. Ken
You are a mean jerk person.
"You are a mean jerk person."
Dr. Ken
But if you hadn't been so tough on me,
"But if you hadn't been so tough on me,"
Dr. Ken
I might have been a goner, so... thanks.
"I might have been a goner, so... thanks."
Dr. Ken
Hey, man, stay healthy.
"Hey, man, stay healthy."
Dr. Ken
Looks like you can't fire me now.
"Looks like you can't fire me now."
Dr. Ken
God, I miss circuit city.
"God, I miss circuit city."
Dr. Ken
I was the mayor, you know.
"I was the mayor, you know."
Dr. Ken
♪ I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter ♪
"♪ I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter ♪"
Dr. Ken
But you're right. We have to give him freedom to...
"But you're right. We have to give him freedom to..."
Dr. Ken
- Go. - On it.
"- Go. - On it."
Dr. Ken
♪ Louder than a lion, 'cause I am... ♪ okay, deejay.
"♪ Louder than a lion, 'cause I am... ♪ okay, deejay."
Dr. Ken
Back it up one time.
"Back it up one time."
Dr. Ken
'Cause y'all about to be blessed.
"'Cause y'all about to be blessed."
Dr. Ken
Let's do this.
"Let's do this."
Dr. Ken
♪ I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter ♪
"♪ I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter ♪"
Dr. Ken
♪ dancing through the fire ♪
"♪ dancing through the fire ♪"
Dr. Ken
♪ 'cause I am a champion ♪
"♪ 'cause I am a champion ♪"
Dr. Ken