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Clips from The IT Crowd - Calamity Jen (S01E01)

TV Movies 2006 Season 1, Episode 2 409 clips
Comedy

Episodes from this show

Well that's easy to remember!
"Well that's easy to remember!"
The IT Crowd
which is quite tarty, and they don't necessarily go with any of my outfits...
"which is quite tarty, and they don't necessarily go with any of my outfits..."
The IT Crowd
Stress is a disease, people, and I am a cure!
"Stress is a disease, people, and I am a cure!"
The IT Crowd
There's too much stress around here.
"There's too much stress around here."
The IT Crowd
More...
"More..."
The IT Crowd
Mayhem!
"Mayhem!"
The IT Crowd
- Are you ready to deal with it?! - Yeah!
"- Are you ready to deal with it?! - Yeah!"
The IT Crowd
70 miles!
"70 miles!"
The IT Crowd
are as red as a fire engine!
"are as red as a fire engine!"
The IT Crowd
I have invited Dr. Julian Holmes
"I have invited Dr. Julian Holmes"
The IT Crowd
will be fired!
"will be fired!"
The IT Crowd
Just... just...
"Just... just..."
The IT Crowd
Just down angle a bit more...
"Just down angle a bit more..."
The IT Crowd
Just come in.
"Just come in."
The IT Crowd
I'm gonna need a volunteer.
"I'm gonna need a volunteer."
The IT Crowd
That's fine. Can I have your left hand there? The back?
"That's fine. Can I have your left hand there? The back?"
The IT Crowd
Brilliant, excellent! It's a super machine!
"Brilliant, excellent! It's a super machine!"
The IT Crowd
Roy should be punished for nearly killing that lady.
"Roy should be punished for nearly killing that lady."
The IT Crowd
I see, well let's move on...
"I see, well let's move on..."
The IT Crowd
What's that?
"What's that?"
The IT Crowd
Oh, I've made a stress machine
"Oh, I've made a stress machine"
The IT Crowd
Pretty good.
"Pretty good."
The IT Crowd
Do you know one woman who isn't obsessed with shoes?
"Do you know one woman who isn't obsessed with shoes?"
The IT Crowd
Try not to hurt yourself!
"Try not to hurt yourself!"
The IT Crowd
I mean fire!
"I mean fire!"
The IT Crowd
"Stand upright."
""Stand upright.""
The IT Crowd
Okay.
"Okay."
The IT Crowd
Hello? Is this the emergency services?
"Hello? Is this the emergency services?"
The IT Crowd
"which has broken out at the premises of..."
""which has broken out at the premises of...""
The IT Crowd
"Help me!', exclamation mark.
""Help me!', exclamation mark."
The IT Crowd
"Looking forward to hearing from you."
""Looking forward to hearing from you.""
The IT Crowd
And the other one's even worse.
"And the other one's even worse."
The IT Crowd
Please rest assured that my cultural advisor will be fired
"Please rest assured that my cultural advisor will be fired"
The IT Crowd
Does he?
"Does he?"
The IT Crowd
Go on! Break something!
"Go on! Break something!"
The IT Crowd
Well done, Paul!
"Well done, Paul!"
The IT Crowd
Both classic signs of stress!
"Both classic signs of stress!"
The IT Crowd
I've sent an e-mail. It's fine!
"I've sent an e-mail. It's fine!"
The IT Crowd
Where is the precinct extinguisher?
"Where is the precinct extinguisher?"
The IT Crowd
You mean the fire incident?
"You mean the fire incident?"
The IT Crowd
Oh I'm in trouble! I'm in real trouble!
"Oh I'm in trouble! I'm in real trouble!"
The IT Crowd
Help me get my shoes on before Denholm comes!
"Help me get my shoes on before Denholm comes!"
The IT Crowd
by the lack of faith you both display.
"by the lack of faith you both display."
The IT Crowd
I think a fire in the office
"I think a fire in the office"
The IT Crowd
Yes I thought he was a delight.
"Yes I thought he was a delight."
The IT Crowd
I hate to remind everyone but I've just destroyed a merger
"I hate to remind everyone but I've just destroyed a merger"
The IT Crowd
- Oh now, I'm bleeding! - Jen!
"- Oh now, I'm bleeding! - Jen!"
The IT Crowd
The stress machine? What about the fire?!
"The stress machine? What about the fire?!"
The IT Crowd
Thank you.
"Thank you."
The IT Crowd
Just what we need!
"Just what we need!"
The IT Crowd
Roll up your sleeves, Jen.
"Roll up your sleeves, Jen."
The IT Crowd
I really am losing quite a lot of blood!
"I really am losing quite a lot of blood!"
The IT Crowd
Jen! Jen! Do you?!
"Jen! Jen! Do you?!"
The IT Crowd
Evidently not.
"Evidently not."
The IT Crowd
I love the way the smoke seems to be coming off the top of it.
"I love the way the smoke seems to be coming off the top of it."
The IT Crowd
Has this ever happened to you?
"Has this ever happened to you?"
The IT Crowd
From today, dialling 999 won't get you the emergency services.
"From today, dialling 999 won't get you the emergency services."
The IT Crowd
And that's not the only thing that's changing.
"And that's not the only thing that's changing."
The IT Crowd
Nicer ambulances, faster response times,
"Nicer ambulances, faster response times,"
The IT Crowd
and better looking drivers
"and better looking drivers"
The IT Crowd
mean they're not just the emergency services,
"mean they're not just the emergency services,"
The IT Crowd
they're "your" emergency services. So...
"they're "your" emergency services. So..."
The IT Crowd
Remember the new number:
"Remember the new number:"
The IT Crowd
That's...
"That's..."
The IT Crowd
Hello? I've had a bit of a tumble...
"Hello? I've had a bit of a tumble..."
The IT Crowd
0118 999 881 999 119 725...
"0118 999 881 999 119 725..."
The IT Crowd
...3!
"...3!"
The IT Crowd
I don't know why they just couldn't keep it as it was!
"I don't know why they just couldn't keep it as it was!"
The IT Crowd
How hard is it to remember 911?
"How hard is it to remember 911?"
The IT Crowd
- You mean 999... - I mean 999!
"- You mean 999... - I mean 999!"
The IT Crowd
- That's the American one! - Yeah!
"- That's the American one! - Yeah!"
The IT Crowd
- You berk! - Come on, are you ready?
"- You berk! - Come on, are you ready?"
The IT Crowd
I don't know what to say really it's fun...
"I don't know what to say really it's fun..."
The IT Crowd
there are some many issues in the world,
"there are some many issues in the world,"
The IT Crowd
They are beautiful, I love them...
"They are beautiful, I love them..."
The IT Crowd
in fact they're the most beautiful shoes I've ever seen but...
"in fact they're the most beautiful shoes I've ever seen but..."
The IT Crowd
you know, I can't have everything that I love,
"you know, I can't have everything that I love,"
The IT Crowd
otherwise I'd own lots of things, and actually they're red,
"otherwise I'd own lots of things, and actually they're red,"
The IT Crowd
Come on you crazy bitch!
"Come on you crazy bitch!"
The IT Crowd
Come on!
"Come on!"
The IT Crowd
Come on!
"Come on!"
The IT Crowd
- Denholm's called the general. - Oh God, another one!
"- Denholm's called the general. - Oh God, another one!"
The IT Crowd
Yeah!
"Yeah!"
The IT Crowd
I bet he declares war on something!
"I bet he declares war on something!"
The IT Crowd
He loves declaring war!
"He loves declaring war!"
The IT Crowd
I am declaring war!
"I am declaring war!"
The IT Crowd
I can see that got your attention.
"I can see that got your attention."
The IT Crowd
What am I declaring war on?
"What am I declaring war on?"
The IT Crowd
My bollocks?!
"My bollocks?!"
The IT Crowd
Stress!
"Stress!"
The IT Crowd
I'm a doctor with a cure.
"I'm a doctor with a cure."
The IT Crowd
No, no! I'm a General! And it's still a war!
"No, no! I'm a General! And it's still a war!"
The IT Crowd
A war on disease!
"A war on disease!"
The IT Crowd
Stress!
"Stress!"
The IT Crowd
They're very expensive and besides,
"They're very expensive and besides,"
The IT Crowd
the woman in the shop said they were way too small for me.
"the woman in the shop said they were way too small for me."
The IT Crowd
- You see you know, be practical, go on! - In the time...
"- You see you know, be practical, go on! - In the time..."
The IT Crowd
I've been speaking,
"I've been speaking,"
The IT Crowd
over 18 million people have died of stress.
"over 18 million people have died of stress."
The IT Crowd
That's another one.
"That's another one."
The IT Crowd
That's another one.
"That's another one."
The IT Crowd
Say: "I hate stress!"
"Say: "I hate stress!""
The IT Crowd
- I hate stress! - No!
"- I hate stress! - No!"
The IT Crowd
You didn't let me finish.
"You didn't let me finish."
The IT Crowd
Say: "I hate stress..."
"Say: "I hate stress...""
The IT Crowd
and I want to limitate its influence in my life,
"and I want to limitate its influence in my life,"
The IT Crowd
what can I do about it? Anyone?
"what can I do about it? Anyone?"
The IT Crowd
Have a bath?
"Have a bath?"
The IT Crowd
Have a bath?!
"Have a bath?!"
The IT Crowd
Get a bike!
"Get a bike!"
The IT Crowd
I cycle to work... everyday!
"I cycle to work... everyday!"
The IT Crowd
Both here, and here...
"Both here, and here..."
The IT Crowd
Any other ideas?
"Any other ideas?"
The IT Crowd
Jen, what about you?
"Jen, what about you?"
The IT Crowd
Shoes!
"Shoes!"
The IT Crowd
- What? - Shoes!
"- What? - Shoes!"
The IT Crowd
Well, shoes...
"Well, shoes..."
The IT Crowd
Ok, look!
"Ok, look!"
The IT Crowd
to come and give a class at lunchtime.
"to come and give a class at lunchtime."
The IT Crowd
He is Europe's leading stress expert.
"He is Europe's leading stress expert."
The IT Crowd