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Clips from Barry - all the sauces (S03E03)

Short Films 2018 Season 3, Episode 4 5 min 464 clips
Short Comedy

Episodes from this show

Phil As far as conferences go, it was boring.
"Phil As far as conferences go, it was boring."
Barry
Nothing to report. Oh, how was Kyle's game?
"Nothing to report. Oh, how was Kyle's game?"
Barry
Oh, it was amazing.
"Oh, it was amazing."
Barry
Six-zero. Kyle pitched seven innings.
"Six-zero. Kyle pitched seven innings."
Barry
Coach said it was the fastest he'd ever thrown.
"Coach said it was the fastest he'd ever thrown."
Barry
No way. Are you kidding me?
"No way. Are you kidding me?"
Barry
Ugh, I'm sorry I missed it.
"Ugh, I'm sorry I missed it."
Barry
Oh hey, so I know you don't want to celebrate,
"Oh hey, so I know you don't want to celebrate,"
Barry
but I made a reservation at Brio's at00 tomorrow night.
"but I made a reservation at Brio's at00 tomorrow night."
Barry
-You did? -I did.
"-You did? -I did."
Barry
-That's awesome! -Anyway,
"-That's awesome! -Anyway,"
Barry
I'm gonna stand by on the earlier flight.
"I'm gonna stand by on the earlier flight."
Barry
Hopefully, I'll be home around lunch.
"Hopefully, I'll be home around lunch."
Barry
Oh, I hope so.
"Oh, I hope so."
Barry
Okay, babe. I'll see you when you get here. I love you.
"Okay, babe. I'll see you when you get here. I love you."
Barry
I love you, too. Sleep tight.
"I love you, too. Sleep tight."
Barry
May I help you?
"May I help you?"
Barry
Good morning, ma'am. Uh, Kenneth Goulet.
"Good morning, ma'am. Uh, Kenneth Goulet."
Barry
Do you have a moment?
"Do you have a moment?"
Barry
All I'm saying is that sometimes the police fall short.
"All I'm saying is that sometimes the police fall short."
Barry
Now, justice...
"Now, justice..."
Barry
That's still attainable.
"That's still attainable."
Barry
-Who is this? -Hi. You must be Kyle.
"-Who is this? -Hi. You must be Kyle."
Barry
-I'm, uh, Kenneth Goulet-- -Please leave.
"-I'm, uh, Kenneth Goulet-- -Please leave."
Barry
Mm.
"Mm."
Barry
-Okay.
"-Okay."
Barry
I understand you had a full-ride to play ball at Michigan.
"I understand you had a full-ride to play ball at Michigan."
Barry
You decided to stay home. Why was that?
"You decided to stay home. Why was that?"
Barry
Look, man, whatever it is you're selling, we don't want any.
"Look, man, whatever it is you're selling, we don't want any."
Barry
I know who killed your dad.
"I know who killed your dad."
Barry
Dad?
"Dad?"
Barry
-Wait, have you been up all night? -I fucked up, son.
"-Wait, have you been up all night? -I fucked up, son."
Barry
W-w-what is all this? What hap-- What's going on here?
"W-w-what is all this? What hap-- What's going on here?"
Barry
I pissed off the wrong guy.
"I pissed off the wrong guy."
Barry
Dad, you do that every day.
"Dad, you do that every day."
Barry
We gotta leave. We're leaving Dodge.
"We gotta leave. We're leaving Dodge."
Barry
Leave LA? I-- No, I-I can't.
"Leave LA? I-- No, I-I can't."
Barry
-I can't leave LA. -Okay.
"-I can't leave LA. -Okay."
Barry
You get ready.
"You get ready."
Barry
I'm gonna pack the car.
"I'm gonna pack the car."
Barry
I'm gonna get new suitcases,
"I'm gonna get new suitcases,"
Barry
-you pack Gordon. -Dad,
"-you pack Gordon. -Dad,"
Barry
-I'm not leaving LA. -What the hell happened
"-I'm not leaving LA. -What the hell happened"
Barry
on "Laws of Humanity" yesterday?
"on "Laws of Humanity" yesterday?"
Barry
Tom, this is not a good time.
"Tom, this is not a good time."
Barry
Just tell them I was doing what I thought was best for my family.
"Just tell them I was doing what I thought was best for my family."
Barry
They loved you. They want to bring you back.
"They loved you. They want to bring you back."
Barry
The showrunner told me he had no idea you were that good.
"The showrunner told me he had no idea you were that good."
Barry
He said you gave real pathos to that--
"He said you gave real pathos to that--"
Barry
to that sad old man character.
"to that sad old man character."
Barry
And now, they're gonna extend the part,
"And now, they're gonna extend the part,"
Barry
give you additional scenes.
"give you additional scenes."
Barry
On "Laws of" fucking "Humanity"!
"On "Laws of" fucking "Humanity"!"
Barry
You know how big that show is? It's huge!
"You know how big that show is? It's huge!"
Barry
Gets like-like a 1.6 in the demo.
"Gets like-like a 1.6 in the demo."
Barry
Tom, I'm leaving town.
"Tom, I'm leaving town."
Barry
What? Why?
"What? Why?"
Barry
Because I pissed off a guy I shouldn't have.
"Because I pissed off a guy I shouldn't have."
Barry
Well, I must say, that's, uh,
"Well, I must say, that's, uh,"
Barry
that's right on brand for you, Gene.
"that's right on brand for you, Gene."
Barry
You know, I've been your agent for 30 years,
"You know, I've been your agent for 30 years,"
Barry
and let me tell you something.
"and let me tell you something."
Barry
It has not been easy.
"It has not been easy."
Barry
People have told me you're narcissistic,
"People have told me you're narcissistic,"
Barry
self-obsessed,
"self-obsessed,"
Barry
petty, unhinged.
"petty, unhinged."
Barry
Their words, not mine.
"Their words, not mine."
Barry
Volatile, toxic, abusive, malignant.
"Volatile, toxic, abusive, malignant."
Barry
A scrub, a dope, a dummy,
"A scrub, a dope, a dummy,"
Barry
a loser, a cocksucker,
"a loser, a cocksucker,"
Barry
a dump truck, a stone-cold buster...
"a dump truck, a stone-cold buster..."
Barry
A bomb? Why can't I just shoot the guy?
"A bomb? Why can't I just shoot the guy?"
Barry
Well, we were going to have you shoot them,
"Well, we were going to have you shoot them,"
Barry
-but-- -Them?
"-but-- -Them?"
Barry
Wait, I thought it was just one guy, this Fernando.
"Wait, I thought it was just one guy, this Fernando."
Barry
It was. You know, but then,
"It was. You know, but then,"
Barry
Dom and DeLuise over here pointed out that
"Dom and DeLuise over here pointed out that"
Barry
if we only kill Fernando, then, like, a whole contingent
"if we only kill Fernando, then, like, a whole contingent"
Barry
of just weirdly stunning Bolivian soldiers
"of just weirdly stunning Bolivian soldiers"
Barry
would come in here and kill all of us.
"would come in here and kill all of us."
Barry
So, it's been decided that you are going to blow them all up
"So, it's been decided that you are going to blow them all up"
Barry
during their midday meeting, which is usually around 5 PM.
"during their midday meeting, which is usually around 5 PM."
Barry
Now, Cristobal will be at Pilates at that time,
"Now, Cristobal will be at Pilates at that time,"
Barry
-so he won't be there. -Right, so I'm bombing a house?
"-so he won't be there. -Right, so I'm bombing a house?"
Barry
Oh, and how. Peep this. Give me your phone.
"Oh, and how. Peep this. Give me your phone."
Barry
You need the Detonate app.
"You need the Detonate app."
Barry
Oh wait, shit. I need your face.
"Oh wait, shit. I need your face."
Barry
-Bingo.
"-Bingo."
Barry
Would you like to receive
"Would you like to receive"
Barry
Detonate special promotional offers?
"Detonate special promotional offers?"
Barry
Absolutely. Can it access to your photos? Yes.
"Absolutely. Can it access to your photos? Yes."
Barry
Location services? Always.
"Location services? Always."
Barry
Can I share personal information with market research?
"Can I share personal information with market research?"
Barry
Sure. Why not?
"Sure. Why not?"
Barry
And you are set.
"And you are set."
Barry
"BerkmanGoesBoom."
""BerkmanGoesBoom.""
Barry
Your password is "SuddenlySeymour1985,"
"Your password is "SuddenlySeymour1985,""
Barry
-but the S's are all dollar signs. -Thanks.
"-but the S's are all dollar signs. -Thanks."
Barry
So, where's this bomb?
"So, where's this bomb?"
Barry
NoHo It's right over there.
"NoHo It's right over there."
Barry
NoHo Pick it up!
"NoHo Pick it up!"
Barry
I want my speech tonight not to be corny, you know?
"I want my speech tonight not to be corny, you know?"
Barry
I want it to be honest and real, like the show.
"I want it to be honest and real, like the show."
Barry
Not some superficial bullshit
"Not some superficial bullshit"
Barry
-about how it might be perceived. -Right.
"-about how it might be perceived. -Right."
Barry
-Take this down. -Yeah.
"-Take this down. -Yeah."
Barry
Um, "I didn't write, direct, produce,
"Um, "I didn't write, direct, produce,"
Barry
-and star in 'Joplin' for the glory." -Mm-hmm.
"-and star in 'Joplin' for the glory." -Mm-hmm."
Barry
"I do this show for a little girl
""I do this show for a little girl"
Barry
who came from Joplin, Missouri."
"who came from Joplin, Missouri.""
Barry
Yeah, and maybe that little girl's name is Abigail,
"Yeah, and maybe that little girl's name is Abigail,"
Barry
but everybody calls her Thweetie because her grandma had a lisp,
"but everybody calls her Thweetie because her grandma had a lisp,"
Barry
and she'd say, like, "Thweetie! Time to milk the cows!"
"and she'd say, like, "Thweetie! Time to milk the cows!""
Barry
Yeah. And, um, maybe Abigail lived on a farm,
"Yeah. And, um, maybe Abigail lived on a farm,"
Barry
so she was really sheltered and she didn't see a television set
"so she was really sheltered and she didn't see a television set"
Barry
until she was, like, 14 years old.
"until she was, like, 14 years old."
Barry
And every night, she would be like, "Mama,
"And every night, she would be like, "Mama,"
Barry
"promise me those little people
""promise me those little people"
Barry
aren't gonna come out of the television set--"
"aren't gonna come out of the television set--""
Barry
-Natalie! That little girl is me. -Yeah, yeah.
"-Natalie! That little girl is me. -Yeah, yeah."
Barry