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Clips from Barry - Candy asses (S03E03)

Short Films 2018 Season 3, Episode 7 5 min 570 clips
Short Comedy

Episodes from this show

-(organ playing) -(choir singing)
"-(organ playing) -(choir singing)"
Barry
(singing continues)
"(singing continues)"
Barry
♪ ♪
"♪ ♪"
Barry
-(organ stops) -(singing stops)
"-(organ stops) -(singing stops)"
Barry
(ominous music playing)
"(ominous music playing)"
Barry
(groaning, gagging)
"(groaning, gagging)"
Barry
(Sharon muttering)
"(Sharon muttering)"
Barry
(heavy breathing, gasping)
"(heavy breathing, gasping)"
Barry
(groaning continues)
"(groaning continues)"
Barry
(door opens, shuts)
"(door opens, shuts)"
Barry
(car door opens, shuts)
"(car door opens, shuts)"
Barry
(car engine starts)
"(car engine starts)"
Barry
(breathing slows)
"(breathing slows)"
Barry
-(groaning stops) -(car departs)
"-(groaning stops) -(car departs)"
Barry
Assistant Director: Here we go. Guys, you ready?
"Assistant Director: Here we go. Guys, you ready?"
Barry
-(all agreeing) -Alright, roll and music!
"-(all agreeing) -Alright, roll and music!"
Barry
(upbeat theme playing)
"(upbeat theme playing)"
Barry
Hello. I'm Gene Cousineau,
"Hello. I'm Gene Cousineau,"
Barry
and I'm a mask collector. "Wait a minute.
"and I'm a mask collector. "Wait a minute."
Barry
"Isn't this supposed to be a Master Class in acting,
""Isn't this supposed to be a Master Class in acting,"
Barry
given by the great performer Gene Cousineau?"
"given by the great performer Gene Cousineau?""
Barry
You're saying to your laptop or mobile device,
"You're saying to your laptop or mobile device,"
Barry
and, yes, it is. Don't fret it.
"and, yes, it is. Don't fret it."
Barry
And by the end of this class, hopefully,
"And by the end of this class, hopefully,"
Barry
you're gonna be a mask collector, too, God willing.
"you're gonna be a mask collector, too, God willing."
Barry
Let me give you an example of my favorite masks.
"Let me give you an example of my favorite masks."
Barry
Hamlet. To be or not to be!
"Hamlet. To be or not to be!"
Barry
Is that the question?
"Is that the question?"
Barry
Stanley Kowalski. Stella!
"Stanley Kowalski. Stella!"
Barry
Get down here! Get down here! I want to eat!
"Get down here! Get down here! I want to eat!"
Barry
A cop in "Serpico."
"A cop in "Serpico.""
Barry
(deep voice): Hey, Serpie? Are you goin' against us?
"(deep voice): Hey, Serpie? Are you goin' against us?"
Barry
(normal): You see? These are not literal masks.
"(normal): You see? These are not literal masks."
Barry
They are roles that you're gonna play in this class,
"They are roles that you're gonna play in this class,"
Barry
and they are gonna change your life.
"and they are gonna change your life."
Barry
Now, yes,
"Now, yes,"
Barry
I have given students the tools
"I have given students the tools"
Barry
to go on to great careers.
"to go on to great careers."
Barry
This class is not about entrances and exits.
"This class is not about entrances and exits."
Barry
It is about reaching into your soul,
"It is about reaching into your soul,"
Barry
pulling out that muck, and throwing it on the stage.
"pulling out that muck, and throwing it on the stage."
Barry
-Hey! I'm actin' here! -(laughter)
"-Hey! I'm actin' here! -(laughter)"
Barry
Ratso Rizzo.
"Ratso Rizzo."
Barry
So, are you ready?
"So, are you ready?"
Barry
You better be ready 'cause the curtain is up,
"You better be ready 'cause the curtain is up,"
Barry
and the spotlight is on you,
"and the spotlight is on you,"
Barry
and welcome to "Gene Cousineau's Master Class."
"and welcome to "Gene Cousineau's Master Class.""
Barry
-(music stops) -(cheering)
"-(music stops) -(cheering)"
Barry
(applause)
"(applause)"
Barry
-Assistant Director: And cut. -Okay. Okay. Okay.
"-Assistant Director: And cut. -Okay. Okay. Okay."
Barry
Okay, um, that was good. I'd like to try one more.
"Okay, um, that was good. I'd like to try one more."
Barry
-Assistant Director: Resetting! -No slouching, class.
"-Assistant Director: Resetting! -No slouching, class."
Barry
Um, y-you're not at home playing video games.
"Um, y-you're not at home playing video games."
Barry
I need you to lean in and pay attention.
"I need you to lean in and pay attention."
Barry
Whoever's on the, uh, taxi,
"Whoever's on the, uh, taxi,"
Barry
try starting earlier on entrances and exits.
"try starting earlier on entrances and exits."
Barry
Other than that, very good. Let's go again.
"Other than that, very good. Let's go again."
Barry
-Gene Cousineau: Got a laugh on the taxi. -Yeah, I saw that.
"-Gene Cousineau: Got a laugh on the taxi. -Yeah, I saw that."
Barry
(birds chirping)
"(birds chirping)"
Barry
(spitting, coughing)
"(spitting, coughing)"
Barry
(deep gasp)
"(deep gasp)"
Barry
(gagging)
"(gagging)"
Barry
(pained breathing)
"(pained breathing)"
Barry
(grunts)
"(grunts)"
Barry
(birds chirping)
"(birds chirping)"
Barry
Ah! Fuck!
"Ah! Fuck!"
Barry
(pained wheezing)
"(pained wheezing)"
Barry
(kids playing, laughing)
"(kids playing, laughing)"
Barry
(wheezing)
"(wheezing)"
Barry
(wheezing)
"(wheezing)"
Barry
(coughing)
"(coughing)"
Barry
(panting)
"(panting)"
Barry
(waves lapping)
"(waves lapping)"
Barry
(sea breeze blowing)
"(sea breeze blowing)"
Barry
(waves washing ashore)
"(waves washing ashore)"
Barry
-(bangs whiteboard) -Everybody read the outline on 106?
"-(bangs whiteboard) -Everybody read the outline on 106?"
Barry
-Mm-hmm. -Okay, how we feel about it?
"-Mm-hmm. -Okay, how we feel about it?"
Barry
-So good. You slayed. -Killer.
"-So good. You slayed. -Killer."
Barry
-Awesome. -Anyone else?
"-Awesome. -Anyone else?"
Barry
Sally Reed: I have a question.
"Sally Reed: I have a question."
Barry
Uh, there's that...
"Uh, there's that..."
Barry
great scene where Medusabby
"great scene where Medusabby"
Barry
is hooking up with the bartender,
"is hooking up with the bartender,"
Barry
and the snakes keep falling out of her hat?
"and the snakes keep falling out of her hat?"
Barry
That's funny.
"That's funny."
Barry
That's not supposed to be funny.
"That's not supposed to be funny."
Barry
-It's supposed to be real. -Oh.
"-It's supposed to be real. -Oh."
Barry
Um, right. Well, the... snakes on her head felt real.
"Um, right. Well, the... snakes on her head felt real."
Barry
But then, she turns him to stone. But then,
"But then, she turns him to stone. But then,"
Barry
she's still horny, so she sucks
"she's still horny, so she sucks"
Barry
and then eats his dick.
"and then eats his dick."
Barry
Is that literal?
"Is that literal?"
Barry
-What else would it be? -Sally: Um,
"-What else would it be? -Sally: Um,"
Barry
(nervous laugh) Well, I was thinking
"(nervous laugh) Well, I was thinking"
Barry
that maybe it could be... more of a conversation.
"that maybe it could be... more of a conversation."
Barry
Like, uh, it could be about her longing, maybe.
"Like, uh, it could be about her longing, maybe."
Barry
Or, you know, like how she can't get close to people
"Or, you know, like how she can't get close to people"
Barry
because of the whole snake thing.
"because of the whole snake thing."
Barry
I guess I just...
"I guess I just..."
Barry
I just wanna know what she's thinking.
"I just wanna know what she's thinking."
Barry
She just wants to get laid.
"She just wants to get laid."
Barry
And it's funny.
"And it's funny."
Barry
Sally: Right, but if she wants to get laid,
"Sally: Right, but if she wants to get laid,"
Barry
then why does she bite his dick off?
"then why does she bite his dick off?"
Barry
What?
"What?"
Barry
She does have a point, Mel.
"She does have a point, Mel."
Barry
So... (sighs) J-j-just...
"So... (sighs) J-j-just..."
Barry
(sighs)
"(sighs)"
Barry
(deep sigh) Hm...
"(deep sigh) Hm..."
Barry
Wow.
"Wow."
Barry
Good job. That was ballsy as fuck.
"Good job. That was ballsy as fuck."
Barry
-Really? -Oh my god.
"-Really? -Oh my god."
Barry
You said everything we've been thinking,
"You said everything we've been thinking,"
Barry
but never would've said in a million years.
"but never would've said in a million years."
Barry
-How the fuck is he a showrunner? -He's been around for forever.
"-How the fuck is he a showrunner? -He's been around for forever."
Barry
-I think he was a writer on "Everybody Loves Raymond." -(laughter)
"-I think he was a writer on "Everybody Loves Raymond." -(laughter)"
Barry
-What's that? -Claire: Some new show that thinks they're just hilarious.
"-What's that? -Claire: Some new show that thinks they're just hilarious."
Barry
Greg: Apparently, the showrunner is a fucking party.
"Greg: Apparently, the showrunner is a fucking party."
Barry
(laughter continues)
"(laughter continues)"
Barry
The villain of the show
"The villain of the show"
Barry