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Clips from Peacemaker - The Choad Less Traveled (S01E01)

Short Films 2022 Season 1, Episode 4 3 min 852 clips
Short Comedy

Episodes from this show

♪ (“BEAT THE BULLET” BY VAIN PLAYING) ♪
"♪ (“BEAT THE BULLET” BY VAIN PLAYING) ♪"
Peacemaker
♪ Hey you, I'm no fool ♪
"♪ Hey you, I'm no fool ♪"
Peacemaker
It would've been nice to have captured it, but I guess it's good it didn't get away.
"It would've been nice to have captured it, but I guess it's good it didn't get away."
Peacemaker
It's the most important toe there is.
"It's the most important toe there is."
Peacemaker
Who's gonna laugh at you for falling over because you don't have a toe?
"Who's gonna laugh at you for falling over because you don't have a toe?"
Peacemaker
-But if you just lose your pinky, it's fine. -(VIGILANTE GRUNTS)
"-But if you just lose your pinky, it's fine. -(VIGILANTE GRUNTS)"
Peacemaker
(HEAVY THUD)
"(HEAVY THUD)"
Peacemaker
-Hey, no! -No!
"-Hey, no! -No!"
Peacemaker
♪ Do ya really wanna Do ya really wanna taste it ♪
"♪ Do ya really wanna Do ya really wanna taste it ♪"
Peacemaker
- ♪ Make a pose ♪ -♪ Make a shortcut To your dreams ♪
"- ♪ Make a pose ♪ -♪ Make a shortcut To your dreams ♪"
Peacemaker
♪ Do ya really wanna Do ya really wanna taste it ♪
"♪ Do ya really wanna Do ya really wanna taste it ♪"
Peacemaker
-♪ Baby, you're losing ground ♪ -♪ Blind to what You'll soon become ♪
"-♪ Baby, you're losing ground ♪ -♪ Blind to what You'll soon become ♪"
Peacemaker
♪ Dancing with blinkers on ♪
"♪ Dancing with blinkers on ♪"
Peacemaker
CLEMSON MURN: You sure your head is in this?
"CLEMSON MURN: You sure your head is in this?"
Peacemaker
But I'm not fucking killing kids just because you say so!
"But I'm not fucking killing kids just because you say so!"
Peacemaker
I've never shot anyone.
"I've never shot anyone."
Peacemaker
Hell, I'm a pescatarian.
"Hell, I'm a pescatarian."
Peacemaker
I don't know, a hospital?
"I don't know, a hospital?"
Peacemaker
Hey, swing by my dad's on the way home.
"Hey, swing by my dad's on the way home."
Peacemaker
Listen, uh, I've been meaning to thank you for allowing me to be tortured last night.
"Listen, uh, I've been meaning to thank you for allowing me to be tortured last night."
Peacemaker
You know, I would-- For a minute, I was-- I was kinda PO'd.
"You know, I would-- For a minute, I was-- I was kinda PO'd."
Peacemaker
and helping me to become the best me that I could be.
"and helping me to become the best me that I could be."
Peacemaker
Okay, the way you said "dude" right there.
"Okay, the way you said "dude" right there."
Peacemaker
Stay here, I'll be back.
"Stay here, I'll be back."
Peacemaker
The facility has been closed, and forensics teams have been sweeping the area.
"The facility has been closed, and forensics teams have been sweeping the area."
Peacemaker
There are weak points where the cloth is.
"There are weak points where the cloth is."
Peacemaker
All the radio stations are playing commercials...
"All the radio stations are playing commercials..."
Peacemaker
How is it so big in this place?
"How is it so big in this place?"
Peacemaker
And if your dad's a racist, and you work with him--
"And if your dad's a racist, and you work with him--"
Peacemaker
I don't work with him! He makes me stuff.
"I don't work with him! He makes me stuff."
Peacemaker
If it walks like a duck, it's either a duck,
"If it walks like a duck, it's either a duck,"
Peacemaker
The sizes are completely incompatible!
"The sizes are completely incompatible!"
Peacemaker
I don't know. Ducks are sneaky, I guess.
"I don't know. Ducks are sneaky, I guess."
Peacemaker
(CELL PHONE BUZZES)
"(CELL PHONE BUZZES)"
Peacemaker
-Peacemaker. -PEACEMAKER: What the fuck, Murn?
"-Peacemaker. -PEACEMAKER: What the fuck, Murn?"
Peacemaker
I did. I wasn't created in a Petri dish.
"I did. I wasn't created in a Petri dish."
Peacemaker
(SIGHS)
"(SIGHS)"
Peacemaker
-JOHN: Holy shit. -HARCOURT: Yeah.
"-JOHN: Holy shit. -HARCOURT: Yeah."
Peacemaker
(WHISPERS) Fuck you.
"(WHISPERS) Fuck you."
Peacemaker
-I-- I was being stupid. -No, I was.
"-I-- I was being stupid. -No, I was."
Peacemaker
-Why not? -Because I love him.
"-Why not? -Because I love him."
Peacemaker
LEOTA: Well, they're a government bureaucracy.
"LEOTA: Well, they're a government bureaucracy."
Peacemaker
-(GOOFY VOICE) No, I don't. -LEOTA: That's a fake voice.
"-(GOOFY VOICE) No, I don't. -LEOTA: That's a fake voice."
Peacemaker
-You ain't killing it right now. -(SIGHS)
"-You ain't killing it right now. -(SIGHS)"
Peacemaker
I know.
"I know."
Peacemaker
You were just a blob of flesh I felt nothing for.
"You were just a blob of flesh I felt nothing for."
Peacemaker
An individual you don't like and then...
"An individual you don't like and then..."
Peacemaker
These are real illegal aliens.
"These are real illegal aliens."
Peacemaker
I'm spilling everything.
"I'm spilling everything."
Peacemaker
Guards! Open it up.
"Guards! Open it up."
Peacemaker
AUGGIE SMITH: Get him out of here.
"AUGGIE SMITH: Get him out of here."
Peacemaker
I can tell.
"I can tell."
Peacemaker
but there's-- there is nothing to love inside of that man.
"but there's-- there is nothing to love inside of that man."
Peacemaker
And I just wish there was some way he would just...
"And I just wish there was some way he would just..."
Peacemaker
I just didn't want you to get arrested while you were in there.
"I just didn't want you to get arrested while you were in there."
Peacemaker
-Thanks. -♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
"-Thanks. -♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪"
Peacemaker
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
"♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪"
Peacemaker
♪ (MUSIC BUILDS) ♪
"♪ (MUSIC BUILDS) ♪"
Peacemaker
What the fuck are you doing?
"What the fuck are you doing?"
Peacemaker
Oh, shit.
"Oh, shit."
Peacemaker
Who the fuck do you think?
"Who the fuck do you think?"
Peacemaker
-Judoma-- -(MUNCHES)
"-Judoma-- -(MUNCHES)"
Peacemaker
-(MARTIAL ARTS SHOUT) -(GROANS)
"-(MARTIAL ARTS SHOUT) -(GROANS)"
Peacemaker
I got some information about the case.
"I got some information about the case."
Peacemaker
GUARD: All right.
"GUARD: All right."
Peacemaker
(WHEEZING)
"(WHEEZING)"
Peacemaker
♪ (HEROIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
"♪ (HEROIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪"
Peacemaker
(HEAVY THUD)
"(HEAVY THUD)"
Peacemaker
♪ (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
"♪ (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪"
Peacemaker
(HEAVY IMPACT)
"(HEAVY IMPACT)"
Peacemaker
(PEACEMAKER GRUNTS)
"(PEACEMAKER GRUNTS)"
Peacemaker
-(HEAVY IMPACT) -(THUD)
"-(HEAVY IMPACT) -(THUD)"
Peacemaker
(NECK CRACKING)
"(NECK CRACKING)"
Peacemaker
You have no idea!
"You have no idea!"
Peacemaker
(THUD)
"(THUD)"
Peacemaker
Then the kidney circulates the blood through the system.
"Then the kidney circulates the blood through the system."
Peacemaker
♪ (“JAWBREAKER” BY THE CRUEL INTENTIONS PLAYING) ♪
"♪ (“JAWBREAKER” BY THE CRUEL INTENTIONS PLAYING) ♪"
Peacemaker
♪ I need to terminate I need to terminate ♪
"♪ I need to terminate I need to terminate ♪"
Peacemaker
♪ With a jawbreaker ♪
"♪ With a jawbreaker ♪"
Peacemaker
♪ The crazier my life is The better for me ♪
"♪ The crazier my life is The better for me ♪"
Peacemaker
-♪ I'm bumping, I'm bumping ♪ -♪ To the left, to the right ♪
"-♪ I'm bumping, I'm bumping ♪ -♪ To the left, to the right ♪"
Peacemaker
♪ Cannot hit the brakes Don't wanna hit the brakes ♪
"♪ Cannot hit the brakes Don't wanna hit the brakes ♪"
Peacemaker
♪ With a jawbreaker ♪
"♪ With a jawbreaker ♪"
Peacemaker
♪ I'm bumping to the left... ♪
"♪ I'm bumping to the left... ♪"
Peacemaker
-(FRANTIC CHITTERING) -(BEAK PINGING GLASS)
"-(FRANTIC CHITTERING) -(BEAK PINGING GLASS)"
Peacemaker
Eagly, hey, hey, hey! No. No! No! No!
"Eagly, hey, hey, hey! No. No! No! No!"
Peacemaker
and you start treating human life like it's nothing.
"and you start treating human life like it's nothing."
Peacemaker
I thought Waller gave me soldiers.
"I thought Waller gave me soldiers."
Peacemaker
Classic pull!
"Classic pull!"
Peacemaker
Nothing, it's just he claims that Eagly, that that's his best friend.
"Nothing, it's just he claims that Eagly, that that's his best friend."
Peacemaker
I'm gonna believe she mentally manipulated the pet eagle into killing his father?
"I'm gonna believe she mentally manipulated the pet eagle into killing his father?"
Peacemaker
is a trained killer!
"is a trained killer!"
Peacemaker
He could kill Vigilante, and without Vigilante,
"He could kill Vigilante, and without Vigilante,"
Peacemaker
(SIGHS) I don't even know this guy's name.
"(SIGHS) I don't even know this guy's name."
Peacemaker
JOHN: Hmm, think I got something.
"JOHN: Hmm, think I got something."
Peacemaker
-What? -Let's pick a topic,
"-What? -Let's pick a topic,"
Peacemaker
Let's each say something that we're grateful for
"Let's each say something that we're grateful for"
Peacemaker
(FURNITURE SLIDING)
"(FURNITURE SLIDING)"
Peacemaker
-(HEAVY IMPACTS) -(GROANING)
"-(HEAVY IMPACTS) -(GROANING)"
Peacemaker
-INMATE: Fuck! -(GROANS) Fuck.
"-INMATE: Fuck! -(GROANS) Fuck."
Peacemaker
GUARD: On the ground! Now! Both of you!
"GUARD: On the ground! Now! Both of you!"
Peacemaker
-(CUFFS CLICKING) -You're a bad dad.
"-(CUFFS CLICKING) -You're a bad dad."
Peacemaker
-Get me Detective Song! -Come on.
"-Get me Detective Song! -Come on."
Peacemaker
Oh, Jesus.
"Oh, Jesus."
Peacemaker
(SIGHS)
"(SIGHS)"
Peacemaker
And it says that your brother died
"And it says that your brother died"
Peacemaker
No, your tits look stellar in that shirt.
"No, your tits look stellar in that shirt."
Peacemaker
GUARD: Free to go.
"GUARD: Free to go."
Peacemaker
♪ It's a little Past suppertime ♪
"♪ It's a little Past suppertime ♪"
Peacemaker
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
"(CELL PHONE BUZZING)"
Peacemaker
♪ No, there's no one home In my house of pain... ♪
"♪ No, there's no one home In my house of pain... ♪"
Peacemaker
♪ And my script's Been rearranged ♪
"♪ And my script's Been rearranged ♪"
Peacemaker
(POLICE SIREN BLARING)
"(POLICE SIREN BLARING)"
Peacemaker
Okay.
"Okay."
Peacemaker
♪ I'm not trying to fake it And I ain't the one... ♪
"♪ I'm not trying to fake it And I ain't the one... ♪"
Peacemaker
Peacemaker.
"Peacemaker."
Peacemaker
What a joke.
"What a joke."
Peacemaker
♪ And my script's Been rearranged ♪
"♪ And my script's Been rearranged ♪"
Peacemaker
♪ No, there's no one home In my house of pain ♪
"♪ No, there's no one home In my house of pain ♪"
Peacemaker
♪ No, there's no one home In my house of pain ♪
"♪ No, there's no one home In my house of pain ♪"
Peacemaker