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Clips from Human Resources - Training Day (S01E01)

TV Series 2022 Season 1, Episode 2 517 clips
Drama

Episodes from this show

Hello. Human Resources. How may I direct your call?
"Hello. Human Resources. How may I direct your call?"
Human Resources
Oh, I totally get it. My son just left for college too.
"Oh, I totally get it. My son just left for college too."
Human Resources
Oh, let me connect you to the Identity Crisis Center. Please hold.
"Oh, let me connect you to the Identity Crisis Center. Please hold."
Human Resources
Grace, I'm going on my break.
"Grace, I'm going on my break."
Human Resources
I don't get it. Why doesn't Phil just feed himself?
"I don't get it. Why doesn't Phil just feed himself?"
Human Resources
-Oh, hi! -Right there!
"-Oh, hi! -Right there!"
Human Resources
Sex in the kitchen again. Yay, fun.
"Sex in the kitchen again. Yay, fun."
Human Resources
The fuckin' show is called Somebody Feed Phil, baby.Oh, shit!
"The fuckin' show is called Somebody Feed Phil, baby.Oh, shit!"
Human Resources
-Oh, whoops. Sorry. Sorry.
"-Oh, whoops. Sorry. Sorry."
Human Resources
Every bite with this guy,
"Every bite with this guy,"
Human Resources
it's like he's been on Earth for two whole fucking minutes.
"it's like he's been on Earth for two whole fucking minutes."
Human Resources
He looks like a toddler getting a colonoscopy.
"He looks like a toddler getting a colonoscopy."
Human Resources
-Face or tits, honey? Quick! Face or tits?
"-Face or tits, honey? Quick! Face or tits?"
Human Resources
Neither. It'll cake in my fur.
"Neither. It'll cake in my fur."
Human Resources
Or you could not ejaculate in the kitchen at all.
"Or you could not ejaculate in the kitchen at all."
Human Resources
-Let's just both blam on the floor. -Here I come!
"-Let's just both blam on the floor. -Here I come!"
Human Resources
Okay, I'm just gonna grab my Chinese chicken salad.
"Okay, I'm just gonna grab my Chinese chicken salad."
Human Resources
All right, fine, I'll watch the bloody show.
"All right, fine, I'll watch the bloody show."
Human Resources
Ah, don't bother. I can already tell you won't like it.
"Ah, don't bother. I can already tell you won't like it."
Human Resources
You know, Phil Rosenthal created Everybody Loves Raymo--
"You know, Phil Rosenthal created Everybody Loves Raymo--"
Human Resources
Oh, God!
"Oh, God!"
Human Resources
I slipped in the cum!
"I slipped in the cum!"
Human Resources
Oh! Oh!
"Oh! Oh!"
Human Resources
I think I broke six of my--
"I think I broke six of my--"
Human Resources
Seven of my legs!
"Seven of my legs!"
Human Resources
And my salad is ruined!
"And my salad is ruined!"
Human Resources
How is Jose supposed to answer the goddamn phones now?
"How is Jose supposed to answer the goddamn phones now?"
Human Resources
Oh, I can still manage.
"Oh, I can still manage."
Human Resources
Don't be a fuckin' hero, Jose, let it go to voicemail.
"Don't be a fuckin' hero, Jose, let it go to voicemail."
Human Resources
Whoa, whoa. What's going on here?
"Whoa, whoa. What's going on here?"
Human Resources
Mona and Gavin were fornicating in the kitchen again
"Mona and Gavin were fornicating in the kitchen again"
Human Resources
and left a puddle of ejaculate.
"and left a puddle of ejaculate."
Human Resources
Excuse me, it was a pile of ejaculate.
"Excuse me, it was a pile of ejaculate."
Human Resources
It looked like an anthill made of mayonnaise.
"It looked like an anthill made of mayonnaise."
Human Resources
Well, Jose almost died on that anthill.
"Well, Jose almost died on that anthill."
Human Resources
He can't die. He's a super spider.
"He can't die. He's a super spider."
Human Resources
-He's in Sony, he's in Marvel…
"-He's in Sony, he's in Marvel…"
Human Resources
I think you're thinking of Spider-Man? I'm just a spider, man.
"I think you're thinking of Spider-Man? I'm just a spider, man."
Human Resources
-Jose. Hi. -Hi.
"-Jose. Hi. -Hi."
Human Resources
Oh, shut the fuck up, Jose. Don't be nice to these animals.
"Oh, shut the fuck up, Jose. Don't be nice to these animals."
Human Resources
"Animals"? We're not animals.
""Animals"? We're not animals."
Human Resources
We are monsters. Insatiable, hairy jizz monsters with no boundaries!
"We are monsters. Insatiable, hairy jizz monsters with no boundaries!"
Human Resources
Ooh! I wish I could cut off my own cock
"Ooh! I wish I could cut off my own cock"
Human Resources
so you could strap it on and fuck me with it right now!
"so you could strap it on and fuck me with it right now!"
Human Resources
Hey, Mona, Gavino, maybe take it down a notch?
"Hey, Mona, Gavino, maybe take it down a notch?"
Human Resources
I think our coworkers are just looking for a little apology.
"I think our coworkers are just looking for a little apology."
Human Resources
Okay, fine!
"Okay, fine!"
Human Resources
I'm so sorry
"I'm so sorry"
Human Resources
Mona and me left a lot of cum on the floor in the office kitchen.
"Mona and me left a lot of cum on the floor in the office kitchen."
Human Resources
-And a teensy bit of urine. -I'm very sorry about my cum.
"-And a teensy bit of urine. -I'm very sorry about my cum."
Human Resources
Okay? Everybody happy?
"Okay? Everybody happy?"
Human Resources
The Archdiocese of Baltimore apologizes better than that.
"The Archdiocese of Baltimore apologizes better than that."
Human Resources
And it's not just Mona and Gavin who should be apologizing, thank you.
"And it's not just Mona and Gavin who should be apologizing, thank you."
Human Resources
It's all of you. Todd, roll the fuckin' tape.
"It's all of you. Todd, roll the fuckin' tape."
Human Resources
-You fuck on our mail carts. -Hey, it's your favorite aunt, Grace.
"-You fuck on our mail carts. -Hey, it's your favorite aunt, Grace."
Human Resources
Toot, toot! Hot bones coming through!
"Toot, toot! Hot bones coming through!"
Human Resources
You fellate each other in our vents and on our desks!
"You fellate each other in our vents and on our desks!"
Human Resources
Hey, Gil, you using a different dick shampoo?
"Hey, Gil, you using a different dick shampoo?"
Human Resources
-Even the fucking snack machine!
"-Even the fucking snack machine!"
Human Resources
My favorite snack is Beats by Dre headphones at the airport!
"My favorite snack is Beats by Dre headphones at the airport!"
Human Resources
Working with you is ruining our fucking lives.
"Working with you is ruining our fucking lives."
Human Resources
Uh, one second. Was that last one my house?
"Uh, one second. Was that last one my house?"
Human Resources
Yes, Jose. We sometimes fuck at your place and watch Starz.
"Yes, Jose. We sometimes fuck at your place and watch Starz."
Human Resources
Starz with a "Z," baby!
"Starz with a "Z," baby!"
Human Resources
Ugh! That's it. I am calling Corporate.
"Ugh! That's it. I am calling Corporate."
Human Resources
-What? Oh, man! -Corporate?
"-What? Oh, man! -Corporate?"
Human Resources
Those prissy twats wouldn't know a hard dick
"Those prissy twats wouldn't know a hard dick"
Human Resources
if you chased them down the stairwell with it.
"if you chased them down the stairwell with it."
Human Resources
Ooh, you guys are in trouble!
"Ooh, you guys are in trouble!"
Human Resources
-You too! You're jerking off right now. -No, I'm not!
"-You too! You're jerking off right now. -No, I'm not!"
Human Resources
-Oh, yes you are. -No, I'm not.
"-Oh, yes you are. -No, I'm not."
Human Resources
-Yes, you are. -No, I'm not!
"-Yes, you are. -No, I'm not!"
Human Resources
No, I'm not.
"No, I'm not."
Human Resources
Hey, Walter! Okay, I'm taking a survey. Would you rather fart fire or pee ice?
"Hey, Walter! Okay, I'm taking a survey. Would you rather fart fire or pee ice?"
Human Resources
I'll pee ice. Duh!
"I'll pee ice. Duh!"
Human Resources
Wait, why are you here and not with Becca?
"Wait, why are you here and not with Becca?"
Human Resources
Oh, she doesn't need me bothering her right now.
"Oh, she doesn't need me bothering her right now."
Human Resources
She just had a baby.
"She just had a baby."
Human Resources
-So, you're avoiding her. -Pssh! No, I'm giving her space.
"-So, you're avoiding her. -Pssh! No, I'm giving her space."
Human Resources
Love is about many things, bug, but "space" is not one of them.
"Love is about many things, bug, but "space" is not one of them."
Human Resources
Love is smothering like a rogue nurse who's taken mercy into her own hands.
"Love is smothering like a rogue nurse who's taken mercy into her own hands."
Human Resources
Wow. I guess I have a lot to learn about love?
"Wow. I guess I have a lot to learn about love?"
Human Resources
Yeah, no shit.
"Yeah, no shit."
Human Resources
I have an incredible idea.
"I have an incredible idea."
Human Resources
You should learn about love
"You should learn about love"
Human Resources
from the bug who knows the most about love,
"from the bug who knows the most about love,"
Human Resources
and that bug happens to be
"and that bug happens to be"
Human Resources
-grabbing you by the collar right now.
"-grabbing you by the collar right now."
Human Resources
-Are you gonna kill me? -Ooh! Better, honey. I'm gonna teach you!
"-Are you gonna kill me? -Ooh! Better, honey. I'm gonna teach you!"
Human Resources
It's a Lovebug ride-along, bitch.
"It's a Lovebug ride-along, bitch."
Human Resources
-Let's go! Whoo! -Whoa!
"-Let's go! Whoo! -Whoa!"
Human Resources
-My spider dick!
"-My spider dick!"
Human Resources
Rochelle, do you want to tell me what this is?
"Rochelle, do you want to tell me what this is?"
Human Resources
An application for the Phoenix Suns credit card our client Doug wants to get?
"An application for the Phoenix Suns credit card our client Doug wants to get?"
Human Resources
-Well, yes, that's objectively what it is. -And subjectively?
"-Well, yes, that's objectively what it is. -And subjectively?"
Human Resources
A bad decision. This is a joke credit card
"A bad decision. This is a joke credit card"
Human Resources
and the punchline is a lifetime of crushing debt.
"and the punchline is a lifetime of crushing debt."
Human Resources
Ugh, you are such a Logic Rock!
"Ugh, you are such a Logic Rock!"
Human Resources
The Connecticut Costco Credit Union
"The Connecticut Costco Credit Union"
Human Resources
has a perfectly reasonable card and it's not purple.
"has a perfectly reasonable card and it's not purple."
Human Resources
But Doug loves the Phoenix Suns. He's their number one Hartford fan.
"But Doug loves the Phoenix Suns. He's their number one Hartford fan."
Human Resources
And if he spends over 30,000 in the first three months,
"And if he spends over 30,000 in the first three months,"
Human Resources
he earns a full leather varsity Suns jacket. It's so purple.
"he earns a full leather varsity Suns jacket. It's so purple."
Human Resources
No! Doug needs to be saving money for Donna's engagement ring.
"No! Doug needs to be saving money for Donna's engagement ring."
Human Resources
That can be the first thing he buys with his new Suns credit card.
"That can be the first thing he buys with his new Suns credit card."
Human Resources
Look, I know you've achieved
"Look, I know you've achieved"
Human Resources
a lot of success in a short amount of time.
"a lot of success in a short amount of time."
Human Resources
-And you're classically good-looking… -Mmhmm. I was born this way.
"-And you're classically good-looking… -Mmhmm. I was born this way."
Human Resources
-…and people like you. -Boy, stop.
"-…and people like you. -Boy, stop."
Human Resources
But you're mistaking that for being right,
"But you're mistaking that for being right,"
Human Resources
which you're not, you're very, very wrong.
"which you're not, you're very, very wrong."
Human Resources
This card isn't just irresponsible, it's dumb and purple.
"This card isn't just irresponsible, it's dumb and purple."
Human Resources
Hm. You know what? You're totally right.
"Hm. You know what? You're totally right."
Human Resources
The Costco card makes much more sense. How did I not see that before?
"The Costco card makes much more sense. How did I not see that before?"
Human Resources
-So stupid. Ah! -Oh, uh…
"-So stupid. Ah! -Oh, uh…"
Human Resources
Well, don't be too hard on yourself. The print is very tiny.
"Well, don't be too hard on yourself. The print is very tiny."
Human Resources
See? That's why we work so well together.
"See? That's why we work so well together."
Human Resources
I have an idea, and you tell me why it's dumb.
"I have an idea, and you tell me why it's dumb."
Human Resources
I'll go clear this up with Doug. Thank you.
"I'll go clear this up with Doug. Thank you."
Human Resources
Oh, well, de nada. In fact, thank you.
"Oh, well, de nada. In fact, thank you."
Human Resources