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Clips from Lazor Wulf - If That Was Tomorrow. This Is Today. (S02E02)

TV Series 2019 –2021 Season 2, Episode 2 12 min ★ 5.4/10 (305 ratings) 264 clips
Fantasy Comedy Animation

Credits

Episodes from this show

♪ la, la, la ♪
"♪ la, la, la ♪"
Lazor Wulf
♪ da da da da ♪
"♪ da da da da ♪"
Lazor Wulf
♪ da da da da da da ♪
"♪ da da da da da da ♪"
Lazor Wulf
♪ heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ♪
"♪ heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ♪"
Lazor Wulf
How the hell did y'all rack up a $700 bill?
"How the hell did y'all rack up a $700 bill?"
Lazor Wulf
You do realize that esther's isn't, like, that good.
"You do realize that esther's isn't, like, that good."
Lazor Wulf
[ all gasp ]
"[ all gasp ]"
Lazor Wulf
I apologize in advance for losing my temper.
"I apologize in advance for losing my temper."
Lazor Wulf
What?
"What?"
Lazor Wulf
You trippin', blazor.
"You trippin', blazor."
Lazor Wulf
Esther's is the best-ther's.
"Esther's is the best-ther's."
Lazor Wulf
Mm. I should've workshopped that line more.
"Mm. I should've workshopped that line more."
Lazor Wulf
I stand by what I said.
"I stand by what I said."
Lazor Wulf
Esther? What are you doing here?
"Esther? What are you doing here?"
Lazor Wulf
I heard somebody talking shit.
"I heard somebody talking shit."
Lazor Wulf
It was blazor.
"It was blazor."
Lazor Wulf
Boy, don't nobody like a snitch.
"Boy, don't nobody like a snitch."
Lazor Wulf
And, you, people eat here
"And, you, people eat here"
Lazor Wulf
Because I slaughtered all my competition
"Because I slaughtered all my competition"
Lazor Wulf
And established my brand.
"And established my brand."
Lazor Wulf
Esther's -- your only option.
"Esther's -- your only option."
Lazor Wulf
Exactly.
"Exactly."
Lazor Wulf
So watch how you speak on my brand.
"So watch how you speak on my brand."
Lazor Wulf
'cause I'll [bshh] kill ya.
"'cause I'll [bshh] kill ya."
Lazor Wulf
Understand?
"Understand?"
Lazor Wulf
Understood. Speaking of brands,
"Understood. Speaking of brands,"
Lazor Wulf
Picking up the check for spinnas ain't mine.
"Picking up the check for spinnas ain't mine."
Lazor Wulf
No worries. I got this.
"No worries. I got this."
Lazor Wulf
King yeti pulls out a giant novelty check.
"King yeti pulls out a giant novelty check."
Lazor Wulf
Where'd you get all that money?
"Where'd you get all that money?"
Lazor Wulf
Frasier crane is extremely buns, good sir.
"Frasier crane is extremely buns, good sir."
Lazor Wulf
Period. [ cheers and applause ]
"Period. [ cheers and applause ]"
Lazor Wulf
But it's my spin. This is some bullsh--
"But it's my spin. This is some bullsh--"
Lazor Wulf
I am officially involved
"I am officially involved"
Lazor Wulf
In whatever you decide to do with that money.
"In whatever you decide to do with that money."
Lazor Wulf
'cause my brand is "follow the money."
"'cause my brand is "follow the money.""
Lazor Wulf
Well, I was gonna buy a coffee with the rest,
"Well, I was gonna buy a coffee with the rest,"
Lazor Wulf
But all this branding talk has got me thinking.
"But all this branding talk has got me thinking."
Lazor Wulf
[ bell dings ]
"[ bell dings ]"
Lazor Wulf
Welcome to bidi-bidi bike-bike.
"Welcome to bidi-bidi bike-bike."
Lazor Wulf
This is a brilliant idea.
"This is a brilliant idea."
Lazor Wulf
I got to be your business partner.
"I got to be your business partner."
Lazor Wulf
Sure, as long as you handle the money
"Sure, as long as you handle the money"
Lazor Wulf
And all the [bshh] that feels like actual work.
"And all the [bshh] that feels like actual work."
Lazor Wulf
Ye-e-e-e-s.
"Ye-e-e-e-s."
Lazor Wulf
Yeti, where are the bikes you plan on selling?
"Yeti, where are the bikes you plan on selling?"
Lazor Wulf
Oh, there's only one bike worth selling.
"Oh, there's only one bike worth selling."
Lazor Wulf
So a bike shop that only sells your one bike.
"So a bike shop that only sells your one bike."
Lazor Wulf
Right.
"Right."
Lazor Wulf
Oh, I love me a gimmick.
"Oh, I love me a gimmick."
Lazor Wulf
We'll auction it and sell it to the highest bidder.
"We'll auction it and sell it to the highest bidder."
Lazor Wulf
I just came up with that.
"I just came up with that."
Lazor Wulf
Ideas like that be why I pay you to pay yourself, brother.
"Ideas like that be why I pay you to pay yourself, brother."
Lazor Wulf
Okay, y'all clearly have no intention
"Okay, y'all clearly have no intention"
Lazor Wulf
Of acting reasonable today, so I'm gonna sit this one out.
"Of acting reasonable today, so I'm gonna sit this one out."
Lazor Wulf
See you next week.
"See you next week."
Lazor Wulf
Man: Stand by.
"Man: Stand by."
Lazor Wulf
King yeti, your bike is your thing.
"King yeti, your bike is your thing."
Lazor Wulf
Yeah, but what is a "thing,"
"Yeah, but what is a "thing,""
Lazor Wulf
Other than a way to burden yourself with expectations,
"Other than a way to burden yourself with expectations,"
Lazor Wulf
Blinding us to the truths and freedoms of the world?
"Blinding us to the truths and freedoms of the world?"
Lazor Wulf
I'mma just assume that was deep.
"I'mma just assume that was deep."
Lazor Wulf
It isn't. But I also spent all my money
"It isn't. But I also spent all my money"
Lazor Wulf
On this rightchea for the grand opening.
"On this rightchea for the grand opening."
Lazor Wulf
So I'm gonna have to see this one through.
"So I'm gonna have to see this one through."
Lazor Wulf
My brand is a wolf with a laser on his back
"My brand is a wolf with a laser on his back"
Lazor Wulf
Who helps the homies.
"Who helps the homies."
Lazor Wulf
So I just can't stand by and let you sell your bike.
"So I just can't stand by and let you sell your bike."
Lazor Wulf
Yeah, that's nice.
"Yeah, that's nice."
Lazor Wulf
Could you grab me a coffee on the way back?
"Could you grab me a coffee on the way back?"
Lazor Wulf
Decaf, right?
"Decaf, right?"
Lazor Wulf
Now, where does money come from?
"Now, where does money come from?"
Lazor Wulf
So, why do you want a job in the clurb?
"So, why do you want a job in the clurb?"
Lazor Wulf
To be real with you, patricia,
"To be real with you, patricia,"
Lazor Wulf
I'm just looking to get hired then fired
"I'm just looking to get hired then fired"
Lazor Wulf
And get that unemployment check
"And get that unemployment check"
Lazor Wulf
So I can buy my friend's bike and give it back to him.
"So I can buy my friend's bike and give it back to him."
Lazor Wulf
How adorable.
"How adorable."
Lazor Wulf
Now, go grab a mop, and clean the floors.
"Now, go grab a mop, and clean the floors."
Lazor Wulf
[ sighs ]
"[ sighs ]"
Lazor Wulf
Done. Time for my first break.
"Done. Time for my first break."
Lazor Wulf
God: Wallace, what is this minty drink?
"God: Wallace, what is this minty drink?"
Lazor Wulf
He's here? Hm, nice.
"He's here? Hm, nice."
Lazor Wulf
I'm about to get fired in record time.
"I'm about to get fired in record time."
Lazor Wulf
That's a mojito, man.
"That's a mojito, man."
Lazor Wulf
Well, this shit is refreshing.
"Well, this shit is refreshing."
Lazor Wulf
Can we go already?
"Can we go already?"
Lazor Wulf
V.I.P. Isn't v.I. When you're the only "p" in it.
"V.I.P. Isn't v.I. When you're the only "p" in it."
Lazor Wulf
Hell no.
"Hell no."
Lazor Wulf
I love it.
"I love it."
Lazor Wulf
I feel at peace here.
"I feel at peace here."
Lazor Wulf
Ooh.
"Ooh."
Lazor Wulf
Now I really feel clurb-ready.
"Now I really feel clurb-ready."
Lazor Wulf
You look goddamn embarrassing.
"You look goddamn embarrassing."
Lazor Wulf
Lazor wulf: Yo, dum-dum. Here are your drinks.
"Lazor wulf: Yo, dum-dum. Here are your drinks."
Lazor Wulf
That'll be $388.
"That'll be $388."
Lazor Wulf
[ laughs ]
"[ laughs ]"
Lazor Wulf
Normally, I'd be [bshh] pissed at you ruining my peace,
"Normally, I'd be [bshh] pissed at you ruining my peace,"
Lazor Wulf
But seeing you work is bringing me pleasure.
"But seeing you work is bringing me pleasure."
Lazor Wulf
Now, clean that up.
"Now, clean that up."
Lazor Wulf
[ laughs ]
"[ laughs ]"
Lazor Wulf
Man, the clurb might be hell for us,
"Man, the clurb might be hell for us,"
Lazor Wulf
But for him, it's heaven.
"But for him, it's heaven."
Lazor Wulf
This ain't on brand.
"This ain't on brand."
Lazor Wulf
You goddamn right it ain't,
"You goddamn right it ain't,"
Lazor Wulf
You malfunctioning piss whistle.
"You malfunctioning piss whistle."
Lazor Wulf
I've got to accelerate this process.
"I've got to accelerate this process."
Lazor Wulf
Hey, you know you [bshh] so hard
"Hey, you know you [bshh] so hard"
Lazor Wulf
When you made elbows, right?
"When you made elbows, right?"
Lazor Wulf
[ laughs ]
"[ laughs ]"
Lazor Wulf
It's true.
"It's true."
Lazor Wulf
Try as much as you want --
"Try as much as you want --"
Lazor Wulf
You ain't never getting fired from the clurb.
"You ain't never getting fired from the clurb."
Lazor Wulf
Never.
"Never."
Lazor Wulf
Patricia, give this wolf a promotion.
"Patricia, give this wolf a promotion."
Lazor Wulf
Mm-hmm.
"Mm-hmm."
Lazor Wulf
Things have taken a truly bad turn.
"Things have taken a truly bad turn."
Lazor Wulf
Stupid horse: Hey, hey, hey.
"Stupid horse: Hey, hey, hey."
Lazor Wulf
Lazor wulf.
"Lazor wulf."
Lazor Wulf
Look who figured out that two o'clock
"Look who figured out that two o'clock"
Lazor Wulf