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Clips from Blackadder (1982) - The Archbishop (S01E01)

Shows Season 1, Episode 3 496 clips

Episodes from this show

To me, of course!
"To me, of course!"
Blackadder (1982)
and enormous devils break wind both night and day.
"and enormous devils break wind both night and day."
Blackadder (1982)
and your bottom never free from the pricking of little forks.
"and your bottom never free from the pricking of little forks."
Blackadder (1982)
Hell...where the softest bits of your nether regions
"Hell...where the softest bits of your nether regions"
Blackadder (1982)
What?
"What?"
Blackadder (1982)
Ah, you will change your mind later. I know it!
"Ah, you will change your mind later. I know it!"
Blackadder (1982)
'Orribly is all I was given.
"'Orribly is all I was given."
Blackadder (1982)
I've heard it. Will you go away?
"I've heard it. Will you go away?"
Blackadder (1982)
I've a pretty shrewd idea myself.
"I've a pretty shrewd idea myself."
Blackadder (1982)
He was coming out of the Duke of Winchester's room.
"He was coming out of the Duke of Winchester's room."
Blackadder (1982)
Well, yes.
"Well, yes."
Blackadder (1982)
The King's hired killer?
"The King's hired killer?"
Blackadder (1982)
That's him.
"That's him."
Blackadder (1982)
Mortimer was wearing a Turkish helmet.
"Mortimer was wearing a Turkish helmet."
Blackadder (1982)
Tragic!
"Tragic!"
Blackadder (1982)
falling backwards onto the spire of Norwich Cathedral.
"falling backwards onto the spire of Norwich Cathedral."
Blackadder (1982)
I don't know how I'm going to break it to his catamite.
"I don't know how I'm going to break it to his catamite."
Blackadder (1982)
Accident, my codling!
"Accident, my codling!"
Blackadder (1982)
One of the bishop fellows, I imagine.
"One of the bishop fellows, I imagine."
Blackadder (1982)
Really?
"Really?"
Blackadder (1982)
Prince Harry, archbishop, My Lord?
"Prince Harry, archbishop, My Lord?"
Blackadder (1982)
Good Lord! Prince Harry, archbishop!
"Good Lord! Prince Harry, archbishop!"
Blackadder (1982)
No, no, no, no, no, no!
"No, no, no, no, no, no!"
Blackadder (1982)
the one who told me about the chocolate chastity belt.
"the one who told me about the chocolate chastity belt."
Blackadder (1982)
— And codpiece, My Lord? — Well, let's go...
"— And codpiece, My Lord? — Well, let's go..."
Blackadder (1982)
Any news, Baldrick?
"Any news, Baldrick?"
Blackadder (1982)
(Fanfare)
"(Fanfare)"
Blackadder (1982)
May he last longer in his post than his predecessors.
"May he last longer in his post than his predecessors."
Blackadder (1982)
I appoint to the Holy See of Canterbury
"I appoint to the Holy See of Canterbury"
Blackadder (1982)
..Edwin, Duke of Edinburgh!
"..Edwin, Duke of Edinburgh!"
Blackadder (1982)
Enter!
"Enter!"
Blackadder (1982)
Ha! My Lord Archbishop!
"Ha! My Lord Archbishop!"
Blackadder (1982)
Don't be mistaken about this appointment.
"Don't be mistaken about this appointment."
Blackadder (1982)
I just wondered whether another man
"I just wondered whether another man"
Blackadder (1982)
No, of course not. Silly me!
"No, of course not. Silly me!"
Blackadder (1982)
Oh, well, I think that's everything cleared up.
"Oh, well, I think that's everything cleared up."
Blackadder (1982)
Goodness! It must be almost time for Evensong. Must go.
"Goodness! It must be almost time for Evensong. Must go."
Blackadder (1982)
I shall make myself available for all eventualities.
"I shall make myself available for all eventualities."
Blackadder (1982)
Thank you so much.
"Thank you so much."
Blackadder (1982)
those long rods you r—ram...
"those long rods you r—ram..."
Blackadder (1982)
(The King) Fresh horses!
"(The King) Fresh horses!"
Blackadder (1982)
My Lord, if we're to catch the boat for France, you'll have to hurry.
"My Lord, if we're to catch the boat for France, you'll have to hurry."
Blackadder (1982)
I thought we all were.
"I thought we all were."
Blackadder (1982)
Yes.
"Yes."
Blackadder (1982)
I dunno, but that tall fellow, he had a face full of manure.
"I dunno, but that tall fellow, he had a face full of manure."
Blackadder (1982)
That's what I call style!
"That's what I call style!"
Blackadder (1982)
(Bell tolls)
"(Bell tolls)"
Blackadder (1982)
I dunno, My Lord.
"I dunno, My Lord."
Blackadder (1982)
My life is hanging by a thread!
"My life is hanging by a thread!"
Blackadder (1982)
Then, Lord Graveney, you will assuredly go to Hell.
"Then, Lord Graveney, you will assuredly go to Hell."
Blackadder (1982)
I place my lands in the hands of the Church.
"I place my lands in the hands of the Church."
Blackadder (1982)
And so bid the world farewell!
"And so bid the world farewell!"
Blackadder (1982)
Out of my way!
"Out of my way!"
Blackadder (1982)
My Lord! My Lord! Aa—ii—ee!
"My Lord! My Lord! Aa—ii—ee!"
Blackadder (1982)
I said, "Out!" Get out!
"I said, "Out!" Get out!"
Blackadder (1982)
Oh, Your Grace, I have left all my lands to the Church.
"Oh, Your Grace, I have left all my lands to the Church."
Blackadder (1982)
No, you treacherous swine! I'LL kill you!
"No, you treacherous swine! I'LL kill you!"
Blackadder (1982)
Um, you know, the Church doesn't really need your lands.
"Um, you know, the Church doesn't really need your lands."
Blackadder (1982)
like singing, talking to God, watering pot plants.
"like singing, talking to God, watering pot plants."
Blackadder (1982)
adultery, pillage, torture...those areas.
"adultery, pillage, torture...those areas."
Blackadder (1982)
Mmm. Once you're dead, you'll have the time of your life.
"Mmm. Once you're dead, you'll have the time of your life."
Blackadder (1982)
Adultery, pillage — through all eternity?
"Adultery, pillage — through all eternity?"
Blackadder (1982)
Struck with large sticks against your tender portions...
"Struck with large sticks against your tender portions..."
Blackadder (1982)
Amen!
"Amen!"
Blackadder (1982)
— Father! — My son!
"— Father! — My son!"
Blackadder (1982)
(The King) You Turkish dog!
"(The King) You Turkish dog!"
Blackadder (1982)
Oh, yes. Sorry, Harry. You're improving.
"Oh, yes. Sorry, Harry. You're improving."
Blackadder (1982)
And how are his dear little sheep?
"And how are his dear little sheep?"
Blackadder (1982)
— Whose sheep? — Edmund's sheep.
"— Whose sheep? — Edmund's sheep."
Blackadder (1982)
I can't understand it. Edmund doesn't even like religion.
"I can't understand it. Edmund doesn't even like religion."
Blackadder (1982)
That was a long time ago.
"That was a long time ago."
Blackadder (1982)
A long and healthy life to him!
"A long and healthy life to him!"
Blackadder (1982)
What?
"What?"
Blackadder (1982)
I said, "Who will rid me of this turbulent priest?”
"I said, "Who will rid me of this turbulent priest?”"
Blackadder (1982)
Selling? Some people actually pay for them?
"Selling? Some people actually pay for them?"
Blackadder (1982)
Well, this is a fair selection. You seem to get what you pay for.
"Well, this is a fair selection. You seem to get what you pay for."
Blackadder (1982)
signed by an apprentice curate.
"signed by an apprentice curate."
Blackadder (1982)
How much is that?
"How much is that?"
Blackadder (1982)
— Who is that signed by? — Both Popes.
"— Who is that signed by? — Both Popes."
Blackadder (1982)
That's the bottom end of the market.
"That's the bottom end of the market."
Blackadder (1982)
They run to this one for four ducats.
"They run to this one for four ducats."
Blackadder (1982)
I have here a true relic.
"I have here a true relic."
Blackadder (1982)
But for a quick sale, you can't beat a nose.
"But for a quick sale, you can't beat a nose."
Blackadder (1982)
Oh!
"Oh!"
Blackadder (1982)
— Hello. — Good evening.
"— Hello. — Good evening."
Blackadder (1982)
Well, we're here to murder the Archbishop of Canterbury...
"Well, we're here to murder the Archbishop of Canterbury..."
Blackadder (1982)
Two drunken knights fresh from the Crusades
"Two drunken knights fresh from the Crusades"
Blackadder (1982)
and here on a mission for King Richard, bless him!
"and here on a mission for King Richard, bless him!"
Blackadder (1982)
We're here to kill...
"We're here to kill..."
Blackadder (1982)
Oh, my God!
"Oh, my God!"
Blackadder (1982)
My Lord, I've something to tell you.
"My Lord, I've something to tell you."
Blackadder (1982)
If it's about the nuns at Uppingham and the candelabra, I've heard it.
"If it's about the nuns at Uppingham and the candelabra, I've heard it."
Blackadder (1982)
What?
"What?"
Blackadder (1982)
I=1"'m terribly sorry about this. I'll just see what the delay is.
"I=1"'m terribly sorry about this. I'll just see what the delay is."
Blackadder (1982)
Those two men have come to kill us!
"Those two men have come to kill us!"
Blackadder (1982)
Oh, just because they've a bit of class, you assume they're killers!
"Oh, just because they've a bit of class, you assume they're killers!"
Blackadder (1982)
They've dropped off!
"They've dropped off!"
Blackadder (1982)
Damn! They must have gone down the secret passage to the nunnery.
"Damn! They must have gone down the secret passage to the nunnery."
Blackadder (1982)
Sisters, three men came in. Which way did they go?
"Sisters, three men came in. Which way did they go?"
Blackadder (1982)
Wait! They'll be watching out for us dressed like this.
"Wait! They'll be watching out for us dressed like this."
Blackadder (1982)
Girls! Girls!
"Girls! Girls!"
Blackadder (1982)
Ah, the fine embroidery!
"Ah, the fine embroidery!"
Blackadder (1982)
Unable to resist the slide into depravity,
"Unable to resist the slide into depravity,"
Blackadder (1982)
— in a heathen orgy. — That's it, yes.
"— in a heathen orgy. — That's it, yes."
Blackadder (1982)
# Unless you want to end up shorter
"# Unless you want to end up shorter"
Blackadder (1982)
# Black his gloves of finest mole
"# Black his gloves of finest mole"
Blackadder (1982)
# Black Adder, Black Adder
"# Black Adder, Black Adder"
Blackadder (1982)
# You horrid little man! #
"# You horrid little man! #"
Blackadder (1982)
Alas! The corruption of the world!
"Alas! The corruption of the world!"
Blackadder (1982)
Yes, alas!
"Yes, alas!"
Blackadder (1982)
I'm tired and weary. You may leave.
"I'm tired and weary. You may leave."
Blackadder (1982)
No. No, not tonight, Sara.
"No. No, not tonight, Sara."
Blackadder (1982)
(Feeble voice) Dying, My Lords?
"(Feeble voice) Dying, My Lords?"
Blackadder (1982)
— Am I dying? — Never!
"— Am I dying? — Never!"
Blackadder (1982)
— Never! — Yet, my son,
"— Never! — Yet, my son,"
Blackadder (1982)
to pass away the idle hours till your recovery...
"to pass away the idle hours till your recovery..."
Blackadder (1982)
..let us imagine you were to pass away.
"..let us imagine you were to pass away."
Blackadder (1982)
To whom would you leave your lands?
"To whom would you leave your lands?"
Blackadder (1982)
Ye—es. To my beloved king.
"Ye—es. To my beloved king."
Blackadder (1982)
May your filthy soul be prepared for Hell, my son.
"May your filthy soul be prepared for Hell, my son."
Blackadder (1982)