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Clips from Blackadder (1982) - Born to Be King (S01E01)

"My Lord, good news. The Swiss have invaded France."
Blackadder (1982)
"(Harry) Father!"
Blackadder (1982)
"There."
Blackadder (1982)
"What?"
Blackadder (1982)
"What? Who to, boy?"
Blackadder (1982)
"The slimy one. What's his name?"
Blackadder (1982)
"— Edmund, My Lord. — Yes, Osmond."
Blackadder (1982)
"we can massacre both the Swiss and the French."
Blackadder (1982)
"She was very attractive."
Blackadder (1982)
"All right, they are. I got bitten by a dog."
Blackadder (1982)
"(Barks madly)"
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"and women are his prey."
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"Yes, obviously. You're a messenger."
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"This is no ordinary woman, Percy."
Blackadder (1982)
"Just imagine what the Spanish Infanta must be like."
Blackadder (1982)
"I've jotted it down. Should help break the ice with the Infanta."
Blackadder (1982)
"Well, good luck. Er, bienvenue a notre chateau, Caroline..."
Blackadder (1982)
"If he goes on like that, he'll turn into a seethe."
Blackadder (1982)
"— My Lord. — Yes."
Blackadder (1982)
"than the famous Stone of Galveston."
Blackadder (1982)
"Mmm!"
Blackadder (1982)
"And...what's that exactly?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Well, the Infanta's eyes are bluer than it."
Blackadder (1982)
"No. Not as such, My Lord."
Blackadder (1982)
"Have these people seen the Infanta's eyes?"
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"I shouldn't think so."
Blackadder (1982)
"An affliction you must be familiar with, never having had a brain."
Blackadder (1982)
"Hello!"
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"..while you're wittering away like a moorhen..."
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"— (Speaks Spanish) — I am the Infanta!"
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"(Speaks passionately)"
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"Ah..."
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"I like it not. Bring me other news."
Blackadder (1982)
"Tell Osmond that to strengthen ties with Spain, he marries tomorrow."
Blackadder (1982)
"In 24 hours, I'll be married to a walrus."
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"You can't lock her out."
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"But tell me anyway."
Blackadder (1982)
"— Please, tell me. — All right."
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"This is the cunning part..."
Blackadder (1982)
"you say "mooo”."
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"Then?"
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"You shouldn't have bothered."
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"I also have a plan."
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"I do, Baldrick."
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"You don't mean..."
Blackadder (1982)
"like the Earl of Doncaster?"
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"that steaming great left—footer."
Blackadder (1982)
"Except perhaps the Duke of Beaufort."
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"Good Lord. Oh, well, fair enough."
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"We could try and strike up a conversation."
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"Ah, hello."
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"No, he damn well isn't. Anyone who says I am, gets it. Do you hear me?"
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"Yes, that's the kind of thing."
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"Morning, Doncaster."
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"Chiswick, take this to the Queen of Naples."
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"Immediately, My Lord."
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"Some, er, lark for the stag party, what?"
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"I don't think you've met the Grand Duchess Ursula of Brandenburg."
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"— (Very low voice) Er, yes. — Something like,"
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"Willkommen..."
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"It's working, it's working!"
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"— I embrace and love you utterly. — What?"
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"— (Speaks Spanish) — What love, what love!"
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"Baldrick, you fool."
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"It's almost as if you were married already."
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"That's true. Hurry up, Father."
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"(Tully laughs hysterically)"
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"Come on, hurry up."
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"Ah."
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"But..."
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"The church's never going to progress if it isn't a bit adaptable."
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"We'll continue."
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"This is my husband, Thomas."
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"Er, Thomas, this is Father O'..."
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"I only need her for a very short stint."
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"And what is the other thing?"
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"(Speaks Spanish)"
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"— No, what's he like in bed. — In bed!"
Blackadder (1982)
"In bed he likes hot milk with just a little of cinnamon."
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"What...is...he...like?"
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"I'd never have believed my stag party would be like this."
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"Or else we might still stand a chance."
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"Officially, you've still got to be a virgin."
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"Oh—oh—oh no."
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"(Baldrick) No."
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"No!"
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"Please, My Lord, I beg you to reconsider."
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"Come on, Percy, let's get the King."
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"Infanta!"
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"— My Lord, Your Majesty. — What?"
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"(Infanta speaks passionately)"
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"and eaten as sweets by Mongolian bandits?"
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"Only one of you has to be a virgin."
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"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together"
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"here in the sight of Our Lord,"
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"— ..take Edmund Plantagenet... — Yes, yes."
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"Have the Swiss and French made sudden peace at a mountain pass,"
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"then forged a clandestine alliance with Spain,"
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"What's she like?"
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"Er, Leia is young and beautiful, her eyes are like opals,"
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"Come on, come on, come on. Where is she?"
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"Yes, I believe we are."
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""that the Big Bear had to leave all his friends,"
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""until the day that he died.”"
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"# The sound of hoof—beats ‘cross the glade"
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"# Black Adder, Black Adder"
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"# His pot is blacker than his kettle"
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"# You horrid little man #"
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"(Edmund) Yes, yes, yes. All right."
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"(Wind blows, cat miaows, dog barks)"
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"The castle of my body is yours, by right of conquest."
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"Come, let your tongue dive into the moat of my mouth,"
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"let your hands take possession of the ramparts of my plumpies."
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"For I'm yours, and yours alone."
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"And I'm yours."
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"Urgh! Edmund! I thought you your brother."
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"Uh, uh, uh, aaaagh! (Falls to the ground)"
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"(Dogs bark ferociously)"
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"The Swiss are always cowards. (Drums beat)"
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"Excellent!"
Blackadder (1982)
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