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Clips from Broad City - Pu$$y Weed (S01E01)

TV Series 2010 –2019 Season 1, Episode 2 22 min ★ 8.4/10 (39,284 ratings) 471 clips
Comedy

Episodes from this show

I can't really imagine what it's like
"I can't really imagine what it's like"
Broad City
for people with blue eyes.
"for people with blue eyes."
Broad City
I've no idea, and I'm feeling like a (bleep) freak!
"I've no idea, and I'm feeling like a (bleep) freak!"
Broad City
Exactly, dude, it's like... I think they can see backwards,
"Exactly, dude, it's like... I think they can see backwards,"
Broad City
like into the eye.
"like into the eye."
Broad City
Is that your vaporizer?
"Is that your vaporizer?"
Broad City
Vapelife.
"Vapelife."
Broad City
Man, I wanna get high.
"Man, I wanna get high."
Broad City
Here.
"Here."
Broad City
No, that does not work.
"No, that does not work."
Broad City
You can keep trying, but it's never gonna work.
"You can keep trying, but it's never gonna work."
Broad City
I'll come over and smoke you right up.
"I'll come over and smoke you right up."
Broad City
Okay, and then we can go to BBB!
"Okay, and then we can go to BBB!"
Broad City
Peace.
"Peace."
Broad City
(reverberating)
"(reverberating)"
Broad City
(man) Hey Ab
"(man) Hey Ab"
Broad City
I've been meaning to ask
"I've been meaning to ask"
Broad City
I'm missing like a bunch of my undies.
"I'm missing like a bunch of my undies."
Broad City
So I had an envelope up here with all of
"So I had an envelope up here with all of"
Broad City
my Bed, Bath & Beyond coupons.
"my Bed, Bath & Beyond coupons."
Broad City
I can't find it.
"I can't find it."
Broad City
I threw them away, they were all expired.
"I threw them away, they were all expired."
Broad City
Bed, Bath & Beyond coupons never expire.
"Bed, Bath & Beyond coupons never expire."
Broad City
They have expiration dates on them.
"They have expiration dates on them."
Broad City
Yeah, to-- to throw idiots off!
"Yeah, to-- to throw idiots off!"
Broad City
Where do you think all this stuff comes from?
"Where do you think all this stuff comes from?"
Broad City
You think someone drops it off?
"You think someone drops it off?"
Broad City
No! This is Bed, Bath & Beyond?
"No! This is Bed, Bath & Beyond?"
Broad City
Yeah! Dude, they sell lots of stuff.
"Yeah! Dude, they sell lots of stuff."
Broad City
You just threw away bowls,
"You just threw away bowls,"
Broad City
maybe coffee filters, a-- a new ottoman!
"maybe coffee filters, a-- a new ottoman!"
Broad City
Well, you asked me to clean the fridge.
"Well, you asked me to clean the fridge."
Broad City
The inside of the fridge.
"The inside of the fridge."
Broad City
The inside of the fridge is fine.
"The inside of the fridge is fine."
Broad City
It's all those junky coupons on top that had to go.
"It's all those junky coupons on top that had to go."
Broad City
I guess that's totally on me, I guess.
"I guess that's totally on me, I guess."
Broad City
Can't even do chores around the house!
"Can't even do chores around the house!"
Broad City
Hey! I will not buy a Sodastream full price, Bevers!
"Hey! I will not buy a Sodastream full price, Bevers!"
Broad City
I will not do it!
"I will not do it!"
Broad City
♪ Four and three and two and one ♪
"♪ Four and three and two and one ♪"
Broad City
♪
"♪"
Broad City
Yeah.
"Yeah."
Broad City
Oh, yeah.
"Oh, yeah."
Broad City
(grunting)
"(grunting)"
Broad City
Ooh!
"Ooh!"
Broad City
Oh, my God.
"Oh, my God."
Broad City
(Abbi) Um, Ilana... Yeah?
"(Abbi) Um, Ilana... Yeah?"
Broad City
You just pulled a bag of pot out of your vagina.
"You just pulled a bag of pot out of your vagina."
Broad City
I know.
"I know."
Broad City
Why-- why would you do that?
"Why-- why would you do that?"
Broad City
I do it all the time.
"I do it all the time."
Broad City
Honestly, it's the safest way to travel.
"Honestly, it's the safest way to travel."
Broad City
Apparently, I have been smoking this tainted weed
"Apparently, I have been smoking this tainted weed"
Broad City
for I don't even know how long.
"for I don't even know how long."
Broad City
I didn't mean that.
"I didn't mean that."
Broad City
It's just disturbing to me.
"It's just disturbing to me."
Broad City
I don't-- I don't know what to tell you.
"I don't-- I don't know what to tell you."
Broad City
It's in a bag.
"It's in a bag."
Broad City
And, you know, the vaya-nya is nature's pocket.
"And, you know, the vaya-nya is nature's pocket."
Broad City
It's-- it's natural, and it's responsible.
"It's-- it's natural, and it's responsible."
Broad City
I shouldn't even be bumming off of you.
"I shouldn't even be bumming off of you."
Broad City
(Ilana) Oh, who cares? No, I'm an adult.
"(Ilana) Oh, who cares? No, I'm an adult."
Broad City
I should be buying my own pot.
"I should be buying my own pot."
Broad City
Wow!
"Wow!"
Broad City
Never thought this day would come, you know?
"Never thought this day would come, you know?"
Broad City
I would be honored and pleasured to facilitate this.
"I would be honored and pleasured to facilitate this."
Broad City
No, no, no.
"No, no, no."
Broad City
None of your dudes.
"None of your dudes."
Broad City
I wanna get my own pot, okay?
"I wanna get my own pot, okay?"
Broad City
I'm not gonna be like holding my mommy's hand while I buy drugs.
"I'm not gonna be like holding my mommy's hand while I buy drugs."
Broad City
I can do this. (Ilana) You know what I'm gonna do?
"I can do this. (Ilana) You know what I'm gonna do?"
Broad City
I'm gonna be a grown-ass woman and do my taxes for once,
"I'm gonna be a grown-ass woman and do my taxes for once,"
Broad City
without my mommy and daddy.
"without my mommy and daddy."
Broad City
Get it, bitch. I'm gonna call some old college buds,
"Get it, bitch. I'm gonna call some old college buds,"
Broad City
a buncha weed-heads.
"a buncha weed-heads."
Broad City
Hit 'em up!
"Hit 'em up!"
Broad City
I'm gonna get those taxes did.
"I'm gonna get those taxes did."
Broad City
I'll hop on the Q18, catch the N and then transfer to the R,
"I'll hop on the Q18, catch the N and then transfer to the R,"
Broad City
and get home in a tight 95 'cause the G ain't runnin'.
"and get home in a tight 95 'cause the G ain't runnin'."
Broad City
Whoa!
"Whoa!"
Broad City
Um, but it was because someone jumped on the tracks
"Um, but it was because someone jumped on the tracks"
Broad City
to kill themselves, it was really sad.
"to kill themselves, it was really sad."
Broad City
Love ya, bitch!
"Love ya, bitch!"
Broad City
That really is sad.
"That really is sad."
Broad City
♪
"♪"
Broad City
I mean, good luck with the trial.
"I mean, good luck with the trial."
Broad City
I'll be sendin' positive vibes.
"I'll be sendin' positive vibes."
Broad City
Okay, all right.
"Okay, all right."
Broad City
Bye.
"Bye."
Broad City
(cell phone vibrating)
"(cell phone vibrating)"
Broad City
Oh!
"Oh!"
Broad City
(woman) Abbi? Cheese?
"(woman) Abbi? Cheese?"
Broad City
Cheese.
"Cheese."
Broad City
No one's called me Cheese in, like, forever.
"No one's called me Cheese in, like, forever."
Broad City
Um, I'm just callin' 'cause I was curious if you were still,
"Um, I'm just callin' 'cause I was curious if you were still,"
Broad City
you know, like sellin' the greenery, 'cause, um,
"you know, like sellin' the greenery, 'cause, um,"
Broad City
'cause I'm lookin' to buy some greenery, so...
"'cause I'm lookin' to buy some greenery, so..."
Broad City
You still smoke pot?
"You still smoke pot?"
Broad City
Oh, Abbi.
"Oh, Abbi."
Broad City
This is a prank call! Bye!
"This is a prank call! Bye!"
Broad City
So sad. (kids screaming)
"So sad. (kids screaming)"
Broad City
(sighs)
"(sighs)"
Broad City
I know, mommy knows.
"I know, mommy knows."
Broad City
Hemmy, you deserve to be a citizen so hard.
"Hemmy, you deserve to be a citizen so hard."
Broad City
You are so good at doing my taxes.
"You are so good at doing my taxes."
Broad City
Totally is a privilege for me.
"Totally is a privilege for me."
Broad City
You know, 'cause taxes pay for the gayest stuff.
"You know, 'cause taxes pay for the gayest stuff."
Broad City
Okay, who pays for the library? Taxes.
"Okay, who pays for the library? Taxes."
Broad City
Parks? Beaches?
"Parks? Beaches?"
Broad City
The Army. Hello?
"The Army. Hello?"
Broad City
Oh, and they pay for the policemen and the firemen, too,
"Oh, and they pay for the policemen and the firemen, too,"
Broad City
if you think about it. That's right.
"if you think about it. That's right."
Broad City
I just can't wait for the day that I walk by a policeman,
"I just can't wait for the day that I walk by a policeman,"
Broad City
and I tell him,
"and I tell him,"
Broad City
I pay for your outfit. Oh, my God.
"I pay for your outfit. Oh, my God."
Broad City
You're gonna pay for a lot of outfits.
"You're gonna pay for a lot of outfits."
Broad City
♪
"♪"
Broad City
(Abbi) Weed?
"(Abbi) Weed?"
Broad City
You have any marijuana?
"You have any marijuana?"
Broad City
Pot? Pot?
"Pot? Pot?"
Broad City