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Clips from Perfect Strangers - Happy Birthday, Baby (S01E01)

Short Films 1950 Season 1, Episode 6 12 min 311 clips
Short

Credits

Episodes from this show

I'll tell you why, because nobody ever returns your calls.
"I'll tell you why, because nobody ever returns your calls."
Perfect Strangers
What the matter with you is? - Nothing the matter with me is.
"What the matter with you is? - Nothing the matter with me is."
Perfect Strangers
Hello, Ritz... Hello, hello, Ritz Discount.
"Hello, Ritz... Hello, hello, Ritz Discount."
Perfect Strangers
You're kidding. Great. I'll be there.
"You're kidding. Great. I'll be there."
Perfect Strangers
Balki, this is my first sale. - Oh, cousin.
"Balki, this is my first sale. - Oh, cousin."
Perfect Strangers
Well, look here.
"Well, look here."
Perfect Strangers
Well, Balki, what if there's traffic jam?
"Well, Balki, what if there's traffic jam?"
Perfect Strangers
Hi, Larry. - Sorry, no time. Gotta run.
"Hi, Larry. - Sorry, no time. Gotta run."
Perfect Strangers
Don't tell me.
"Don't tell me."
Perfect Strangers
Isn't that something? Only in America.
"Isn't that something? Only in America."
Perfect Strangers
...they decided to use a picture taken by some other guy.
"...they decided to use a picture taken by some other guy."
Perfect Strangers
Well, I'd love to talk about my nepotism, but I don't know what that is.
"Well, I'd love to talk about my nepotism, but I don't know what that is."
Perfect Strangers
It's time I realized my limitations.
"It's time I realized my limitations."
Perfect Strangers
Cousin, you just didn't sell one picture. - No, it's not just the one picture.
"Cousin, you just didn't sell one picture. - No, it's not just the one picture."
Perfect Strangers
Oh, sure, sure. And then what do I do the next year?
"Oh, sure, sure. And then what do I do the next year?"
Perfect Strangers
Spend an evening with people saying:
"Spend an evening with people saying:"
Perfect Strangers
I'm hungry.
"I'm hungry."
Perfect Strangers
Why did I ask?
"Why did I ask?"
Perfect Strangers
You locked me in the closet.
"You locked me in the closet."
Perfect Strangers
Here he is. Go ahead.
"Here he is. Go ahead."
Perfect Strangers
Of course, no hot water. Why should I expect hot water?
"Of course, no hot water. Why should I expect hot water?"
Perfect Strangers
No, no. I wanted to be a professional photojournalist.
"No, no. I wanted to be a professional photojournalist."
Perfect Strangers
Balki. Balki. Balki.
"Balki. Balki. Balki."
Perfect Strangers
Balki, how can you sleep at a time like this?
"Balki, how can you sleep at a time like this?"
Perfect Strangers
I'm a failure.
"I'm a failure."
Perfect Strangers
And the proof is that nobody even bothered to acknowledge my birthday.
"And the proof is that nobody even bothered to acknowledge my birthday."
Perfect Strangers
Sure, I said it. I didn't mean it.
"Sure, I said it. I didn't mean it."
Perfect Strangers
Did anybody notice? No.
"Did anybody notice? No."
Perfect Strangers
Balki, do you...? Do you think that l...?
"Balki, do you...? Do you think that l...?"
Perfect Strangers
I might be able to borrow your...?
"I might be able to borrow your...?"
Perfect Strangers
Surprise... What? A surprise burglary?
"Surprise... What? A surprise burglary?"
Perfect Strangers
No, cousin...
"No, cousin..."
Perfect Strangers
Happy birthday!
"Happy birthday!"
Perfect Strangers
This is Officer Finley. - Yo.
"This is Officer Finley. - Yo."
Perfect Strangers
Well, I invite them to your birthday party.
"Well, I invite them to your birthday party."
Perfect Strangers
At 3 a. M? - That's what they said.
"At 3 a. M? - That's what they said."
Perfect Strangers
You guys got a corkscrew? - Top drawer, next to the sink.
"You guys got a corkscrew? - Top drawer, next to the sink."
Perfect Strangers
Thank you. Lou? - Snake.
"Thank you. Lou? - Snake."
Perfect Strangers
Snake. - Yeah.
"Snake. - Yeah."
Perfect Strangers
Yes. - Lou told me.
"Yes. - Lou told me."
Perfect Strangers
Go ahead, say something.
"Go ahead, say something."
Perfect Strangers
Speech. Speech. - Speech.
"Speech. Speech. - Speech."
Perfect Strangers
Larry. - ? Larry
"Larry. - ? Larry"
Perfect Strangers
Happy birthday to you
"Happy birthday to you"
Perfect Strangers
...twice.
"...twice."
Perfect Strangers
For the party and for helping to keep my dream alive.
"For the party and for helping to keep my dream alive."
Perfect Strangers
Why don't they call?
"Why don't they call?"
Perfect Strangers
Said they'd call.
"Said they'd call."
Perfect Strangers
What are you doing?
"What are you doing?"
Perfect Strangers
Making a phone call. - Balki, use the phone, I'll break a bone.
"Making a phone call. - Balki, use the phone, I'll break a bone."
Perfect Strangers
Boy, somebody got up on the wrong side of the flock.
"Boy, somebody got up on the wrong side of the flock."
Perfect Strangers
Everything's fine. Just a little tense.
"Everything's fine. Just a little tense."
Perfect Strangers
Anxious. Upset. Irritable.
"Anxious. Upset. Irritable."
Perfect Strangers
Yes, this is Larry Appleton.
"Yes, this is Larry Appleton."
Perfect Strangers
This may be the greatest day of my life.
"This may be the greatest day of my life."
Perfect Strangers
Now you happy? What is this, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hekyll?
"Now you happy? What is this, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hekyll?"
Perfect Strangers
Balki, that was the photo editor from the Chicago Weekly Gazette.
"Balki, that was the photo editor from the Chicago Weekly Gazette."
Perfect Strangers
Remember that picture I submitted of the burning building?
"Remember that picture I submitted of the burning building?"
Perfect Strangers
Well, they want to print it. - Cousin Larry, congratulations.
"Well, they want to print it. - Cousin Larry, congratulations."
Perfect Strangers
I've got to be there at 6 to sign a release and get paid.
"I've got to be there at 6 to sign a release and get paid."
Perfect Strangers
You are professional picture taker. It's your dream come true.
"You are professional picture taker. It's your dream come true."
Perfect Strangers
Now we are so happy we do the Dance of Joy.
"Now we are so happy we do the Dance of Joy."
Perfect Strangers
Balki.
"Balki."
Perfect Strangers
A photojournalist must maintain a modicum of dignity.
"A photojournalist must maintain a modicum of dignity."
Perfect Strangers
Let's boogie.
"Let's boogie."
Perfect Strangers
I can't believe it.
"I can't believe it."
Perfect Strangers
This is a terrific birthday present.
"This is a terrific birthday present."
Perfect Strangers
Happy birthday. - Thank you.
"Happy birthday. - Thank you."
Perfect Strangers
What did you get me? - Well, l...
"What did you get me? - Well, l..."
Perfect Strangers
What do you mean, "What did I get you"? I'm supposed to get presents.
"What do you mean, "What did I get you"? I'm supposed to get presents."
Perfect Strangers
You're supposed to get the presents?
"You're supposed to get the presents?"
Perfect Strangers
You get presents on your birthday? - Well, of course.
"You get presents on your birthday? - Well, of course."
Perfect Strangers
That's an American birthday tradition. Haven't you ever heard of that?
"That's an American birthday tradition. Haven't you ever heard of that?"
Perfect Strangers
Of course I have. Don't be ridiculous.
"Of course I have. Don't be ridiculous."
Perfect Strangers
I suppose this means you also didn't bake me a cake?
"I suppose this means you also didn't bake me a cake?"
Perfect Strangers
What can I say? I'm scum.
"What can I say? I'm scum."
Perfect Strangers
Well, it's all right, I forgive you because I am so happy for you.
"Well, it's all right, I forgive you because I am so happy for you."
Perfect Strangers
Why you didn't tell me it's our birthday?
"Why you didn't tell me it's our birthday?"
Perfect Strangers
I don't know. I guess I just wasn't in the mood to celebrate this year.
"I don't know. I guess I just wasn't in the mood to celebrate this year."
Perfect Strangers
But things are looking up. "Photo by Larry Appleton."
"But things are looking up. "Photo by Larry Appleton.""
Perfect Strangers
If it isn't tweedledum and tweedledumber.
"If it isn't tweedledum and tweedledumber."
Perfect Strangers
Mr. Twinkacetti, good news. Cousin Larry sold a photograph.
"Mr. Twinkacetti, good news. Cousin Larry sold a photograph."
Perfect Strangers
It his dream come true.
"It his dream come true."
Perfect Strangers
Wise up, Appleton.
"Wise up, Appleton."
Perfect Strangers
You're gonna grow old and gray busting your butt for me...
"You're gonna grow old and gray busting your butt for me..."
Perfect Strangers
...right here, until you die.
"...right here, until you die."
Perfect Strangers
Grim, isn't it?
"Grim, isn't it?"
Perfect Strangers
Not even Twinkacetti can spoil this.
"Not even Twinkacetti can spoil this."
Perfect Strangers
What if the elevator gets stuck? What if the building burns down?
"What if the elevator gets stuck? What if the building burns down?"
Perfect Strangers
What if a giant prehistoric monster crawls out of Lake Michigan...
"What if a giant prehistoric monster crawls out of Lake Michigan..."
Perfect Strangers
...and eats Chicago?
"...and eats Chicago?"
Perfect Strangers
You're right. I'd better get a move on.
"You're right. I'd better get a move on."
Perfect Strangers
I sold a picture. That's great. Fabulous.
"I sold a picture. That's great. Fabulous."
Perfect Strangers
Hi, Susan, Tina. - Hi.
"Hi, Susan, Tina. - Hi."
Perfect Strangers
He's excited. He should be.
"He's excited. He should be."
Perfect Strangers
Not only he sold the photograph, but it's his birthday.
"Not only he sold the photograph, but it's his birthday."
Perfect Strangers
Let's throw him a surprise birthday party. - Oh, good idea. When?
"Let's throw him a surprise birthday party. - Oh, good idea. When?"
Perfect Strangers
I want it to be a surprise.
"I want it to be a surprise."
Perfect Strangers
Okay, we put all the food there, and we put the balloons here.
"Okay, we put all the food there, and we put the balloons here."
Perfect Strangers
And... What this?
"And... What this?"
Perfect Strangers
You know, in Mypos to do that, we had to squeeze a frog.
"You know, in Mypos to do that, we had to squeeze a frog."
Perfect Strangers
What do we do? - Okay, okay.
"What do we do? - Okay, okay."
Perfect Strangers
You go downstairs and head everybody off.
"You go downstairs and head everybody off."
Perfect Strangers
I'll hide the party stuff, and that way, we all surprise him at the same moment.
"I'll hide the party stuff, and that way, we all surprise him at the same moment."
Perfect Strangers
Cousin, how did it go at the newspaper?
"Cousin, how did it go at the newspaper?"
Perfect Strangers
Oh, fine. Everything's fine. They like me. They love my photograph.
"Oh, fine. Everything's fine. They like me. They love my photograph."
Perfect Strangers
Oh, it went great. Everything's fine. Fine, fine, fine.
"Oh, it went great. Everything's fine. Fine, fine, fine."
Perfect Strangers
I sense you have left out some small but important detail.
"I sense you have left out some small but important detail."
Perfect Strangers
Oh, yeah.
"Oh, yeah."
Perfect Strangers
Did I forget to mention that the jerks didn't want to buy my photograph?
"Did I forget to mention that the jerks didn't want to buy my photograph?"
Perfect Strangers
Oh, cousin, that's terrible. Why not?
"Oh, cousin, that's terrible. Why not?"
Perfect Strangers
Well, at the last minute...
"Well, at the last minute..."
Perfect Strangers
Oh. - And get this.
"Oh. - And get this."
Perfect Strangers
The guy just happens to live next door to the publisher's barber.
"The guy just happens to live next door to the publisher's barber."
Perfect Strangers
Talk about your nepotism.
"Talk about your nepotism."
Perfect Strangers
You know what they used? The oldest cliche in the book.
"You know what they used? The oldest cliche in the book."
Perfect Strangers
A baby being rescued from the burning building.
"A baby being rescued from the burning building."
Perfect Strangers
News value.
"News value."
Perfect Strangers
The baby wasn't even that cute.
"The baby wasn't even that cute."
Perfect Strangers
Oh, cousin, you must be so disappointed.
"Oh, cousin, you must be so disappointed."
Perfect Strangers