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Clips from Perfect Strangers - Knock Knock, Who's There? (S01E01)

"Am I looking up "Larry Appleton"?"
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"And I'm safe, I'm safe, I'm safe. - Yes, yes. Now you're safe."
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"See, I just moved here myself. This is the first time I've lived alone."
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"Well..."
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"I feel like a fool to come here and bother you."
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"But this is America. Open all night."
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"Look, I can't just turn you out into the cold."
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"Look, you can stay a couple of days, until you get a job."
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"Over there."
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"Potato crumbs. My favorite."
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"Color TV."
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"On second thought, I've seen all these colors."
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"What else do you do?"
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"...in America, you don't always get what you want right away."
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"That's the idea."
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"Uh..."
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"Well, you don't go by what the price tag says, do you?"
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"I'm not allowed to move."
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"No. - Look. Look. Look."
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"Of course not. Don't be ridiculous."
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"Don't you realize what you've done to me?"
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"I want the rest of my money."
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"Why not? I'm young."
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"And if I came up and did that, it would flip around like the tassels on a belly dancer."
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"I like that story."
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"Mr. Twinkacetti, give him a chance. How else can he pay you back?"
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"I have a little corner of it growing on my dining-room table."
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"Oh, he's cute."
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"Susan, they haven't even made parts for that radio in 40 years."
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"Twinkacetti will never know the difference."
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"You know it'll work, and I know it'll work."
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"You actually did it. You did it."
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"Does Telly Savalas love you, baby?"
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"On second thought, pinhead, do it yourself."
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"Eh."
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"But the customer likes him, and that's why they come back."
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"Thanks, but you're wasting your time, Balki. Come on."
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"Well, Balki, you got us our jobs back."
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"You took me in."
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"Well, it is nice to have somebody to talk to."
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"No problem."
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"Balki, do you have any idea how much minimum wage is?"
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"Must be child-proof."
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"I hope whoever it is brought a chain saw."
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"Larry Appleton. That's me."
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"Larry, Larry, Larry."
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"I look everywhere for you."
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"I walk the streets. I search the alleys."
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"I say to everyone, "Have you seen Larry?""
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"You don't know how many people have never heard of you."
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"But now I find you."
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"Who are you?"
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"I'm Balki Bartokomous."
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"Philo, my fifth cousin three times removed..."
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"...is a step-uncle to your father on my mother's side..."
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"...two continents removed."
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"I see. So we're sort of related by rumor."
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"America."
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"Land of my dreams."
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"Home of the Whopper."
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"So cousin Philo says to me, he says:"
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""Balki, when you move to America..."
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"That's your father. - Yeah, that's the story I heard too."
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"So I said goodbye to Mypos, my little Mediterranean island country..."
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"...and I got on the tramp steamer."
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"Tramp, tramp, tramp."
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"And then I got on the bus."
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"Bus, bus, bus."
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"And I found your father to move in."
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"But he said, "No, you have to go to the big city of Chicago..."
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"...to find my son." That's you."
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"So I got on the bus."
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"Bus, bus, bus."
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"Well, wait a minute, you came here to move in with me?"
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"Of course I did. What do you think, I'm going to move in with some stranger?"
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"Well, Balki, uh, look. There is a problem."
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"I actually have my own bachelor pad. You want a beer?"
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"No, thank you. What are you saying?"
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"Well, I'm saying..."
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"You see, I've lived my whole life with eight brothers and sisters."
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"And it's time..."
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"See, I want to live alone."
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"Your father didn't call you? - Well, I'm sure he tried..."
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"...and I just wasn't home."
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"Goodbye, American cousin. Nice to meet you."
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"Don't worry about me. I know where I'm going."
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"Where are you going? - I don't know."
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"No, no, no."
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"That many thank-yous would be appropriate if you were staying a long time."
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"A day or two worth of thank-yous is plenty."
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"Thank you."
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"So sit down and help yourself to the goodies."
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"What this? - That's pink lemonade."
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"You have pink lemons?"
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"Only in America."
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"Yeah, haven't you ever seen color TV before?"
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"Of course I have. Don't be ridiculous."
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"Blue."
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"Green and red are gonna be on later. You might wanna stay up and watch."
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"I think I'll just hit the sack. - I think I'll just hit the sack."
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"I don't have a sack."
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"Well, you can sleep on the couch. It turns into a bed."
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"Of course it does. This is America."
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"And don't worry about me."
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"Tomorrow I get a job very fast. I'm a professional."
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"This is crazy. A big city like Chicago..."
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"...there is not one single advertisement in here for a sheepherder."
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"That's the way it goes. Last week there were pages of them."
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"I am a sheepherder."
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"My father was a sheepherder."
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"My grandfather was a sheepherder."
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"The little baby... - I get the picture."
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"But, you know..."
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"For example, I wanna be a photojournalist."
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"But then, I've taken this job to pay the bills."
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"You'll have to take a job until an untended flock pops up."
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"Hello. The Ritz."
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"What? Yeah, Susan, calm down."
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"Yeah. Well, it's only a mouse. They're cute."
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"Think of Mickey."
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