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Clips from Perfect Strangers - Baby, You Can Drive My Car (S01E01)

"That's the last one."
Perfect Strangers
"Obviously, you don't know the first thing about physics."
Perfect Strangers
"Oh, look what you got. You lucky son of a goat."
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"Oh, to get an official document like that must make you so aroused."
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"Well, it's hard to argue when you put it like that."
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"You're teasing Balki. - No. It's no big deal."
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"Well, Balki, a man's car is not just a piece of machinery."
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"That's it."
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"My very own driver's license."
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"I volunteered my car."
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"Please, God, tell me I didn't make a mistake."
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"Was that a yes or a no?"
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"The manual? - The driving manual."
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"I just was hoping we could wait a little longer."
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"Okay. A promise is a promise."
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"Okay."
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"Now, get in the car."
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"Okay. Now."
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"Now, it's in park, so just start it up."
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"Buckle up. - Start the car."
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"Now, put it in drive..."
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"Now, what I'm gonna do is throw a few emergency situations your way, okay?"
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"All right."
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"Okay, Balki, if you're not gonna take this seriously, there's no point in teaching you."
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"I'll do better. - Okay."
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"I think we should take a few more practice spins around the living room..."
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"Next time, buckle up. It's the law."
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"Balki, what happened?"
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"Not now, I'm counting to a thousand. - What happened?"
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"A shopping cart? - A hurtling shopping cart."
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"I told you to hit the brake. - Yes, but you confused me."
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"You keep shouting, "Hit the grapefruit, hit the grapefruit.""
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"According to Mypos custom, I have to go far away..."
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"It's just that it's my car and it's your fault."
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"No, no, no. I mean, I didn't mean to say that."
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"And you're not a quitter. You know why?"
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"That's why you came to America."
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"Hanging in there is part of what the American spirit is all about. Yes."
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"When the going gets tough, the tough get going."
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"Never say die."
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"You can fool some of the sheep all of the time..."
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"...but you can't fool some of the sheep all of the time."
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"Yes."
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"Nervous?"
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"Backwards? - It's a figure of speech."
Perfect Strangers
"...and the man on my right has the right of way, who goes first?"
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"Next."
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"Cover the left eye, please."
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"Read the first line."
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"By somebody named "Pat Pending.""
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"Okay. I'll give that to you."
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"I'm sorry, it's just that getting a driver's license is very important to him."
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"It's kind of a symbol of... - Park it over there."
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"Yes, right. No problem. I know you live with a lot of stress."
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"Excuse me, I think my friend here may have made a hasty act here."
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"You must have made a mistake."
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"Well, what do you know? He's right. A perfect paper."
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"If that man was your driving examiner, you'd be in a lot of trouble."
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"On this part of the test, you're only allowed three mistakes."
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"I told you all sales are final."
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"Those nuns are so pushy."
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"So I took a right and suddenly..."
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"...Frank and me were on the expressway in the middle of rush hour."
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"Who is Frank?"
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"Frank had a heart attack?"
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"A salami sandwich, french fries and two chili dogs."
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"You got it? You got it."
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"You got it."
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"I never gave it a thought. Did you put on the parking brake?"
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"Darn. One more and we would've had a perfect pyramid."
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"Why don't we use this one? - No, Balki, no."
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"Morning, gentlemen. And I use the word incorrectly."
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"Good morning, Mr. Twinkacetti."
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"It's my driver's license. I just got it renewed."
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"Congratulations."
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"Oh, it's a wonderful thing, a driver's license."
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"And I want to thank you both for letting me hang out with you anyway."
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"Your membership card to the American dream."
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"Balki, it's only a driver's license."
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"Is Mount Rushmore only a chunk of stone?"
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"Is Merv Griffin only a talk-show host?"
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"Didn't you have a driver's license back in Mypos?"
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"Well, we only had one car."
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"Well, my family only had one car. - My country only had one car."
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"Which is a good thing, because they let the guy with the brain drive."
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"Twinkacetti, Balki could get a driver's license."
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"I could? - Sure."
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"Don't be ridiculous. I am not born in the U.S.A."
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"All you need is someone to teach you how to drive."
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"Will you teach me? - Well, sure."
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"I'm your friend."
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"In your car?"
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"Uh... In my car?"
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"Uh, Balki, I don't think that's a good idea."
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"Why not?"
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"I mean, my car is very special to me."
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"Why, I spent years saving nickels and dimes so that I could..."
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"I mean, it's not that I don't trust you."
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"It's just that, uh... Well, see, uh..."
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"How can I say this?"
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"You don't want it driven into the side of a building."
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"Face it, we both know the yo-yo can't get a license."
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"Well, that's not true. - Fifty bucks says he can't."
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"I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response."
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"Translated, that means your pal doesn't think you can do it."
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"He can do anything he puts his mind to."
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"Put your money where your mouth is."
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"You will? - Did I say it?"
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"Yes. - Damn."
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"You're on."
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"It's gonna be like taking candy from a baby."
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"I can't wait to hit the highway."
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"Cousin Larry, I have been looking at the manual."
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"Oh, the driving manual. Well, you can't study that too much."
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"Well, I have read every day for a week. - That's good."
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"You said when I have read the manual and memorized the rules..."
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"...you would give me my lesson in front of the wheel."
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"That's behind the wheel. And see? That's what I'm talking about."
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"You don't even know which side of the wheel to be on."
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"But you promised to teach me."
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