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Clips from Perfect Strangers - Picture This (S01E01)

"I'm so lucky to be here."
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"And then the old lady had to come up and drag me off the roof like Tippi Hedren."
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"What TV did she buy?"
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"It's obvious in his country, cousins can marry."
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"I finally got a break."
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"Dolly Parton is staying in town secretly."
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"The car is behind door number two."
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"I got to the hotel just as her cab was pulling away."
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"You've had a busy day."
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"I gotta get this picture."
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"You want to get lucky with Dolly Parton?"
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"How you did that?"
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"It's a pop-top can. Haven't you ever seen one of these before?"
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"You're the only one he doesn't try to kill."
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"Yeah, all right."
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"Stretch out."
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"I'll explain it some other time, huh?"
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"You've got to learn to say no. - I can't say no."
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"Good."
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"No, I won't shine your shoes. - Good, keep it going."
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"I would not shine your shoes if my life depend on it."
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"Take Gorbachev for a walk at 10, okay?"
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"Ha!"
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"Hello, Susan. - Hi."
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"I only talk to my friends."
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"Hello."
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"I'm not smart enough to call the hotel and find out what he said?"
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"Tell me. I'll do it."
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"I can grovel."
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"I am..."
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"Oh, I forgive you."
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"Cousins should joke more. - Yes, yes, they should."
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"The lounge."
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"Why can't I say, "Watch the birdie"?"
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"Let's be adult about this. Give me my camera."
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"Would you stop?"
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"You're not Dolly Parton."
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"I am sorry forever."
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"You're full of it."
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"A little better."
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"...because you are my friend."
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"But you shouldn't do it because you feel you have to."
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"Good night."
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"Good night, Balki."
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"Yeah? If you'd watch where you were going..."
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"...you wouldn't fall down."
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"Hi, Mr. Twinkacetti. The handicapped harassing you again?"
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"Boy, Chicago is a big place."
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"If I walked as far on my little island of Mypos as I just walked..."
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"...I'd be drowning in the ocean right now."
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"You're so lucky the Statue of Liberty didn't wave you away."
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"Where have you been?"
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"And I said, "Of course," because it's only 93 blocks."
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"And..."
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"...which was on the roof."
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"And they were coming toward me because they want to peck me."
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"And then they come and sit on my neck, and I don't like that."
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"But the TV works like a charm."
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"What, uh?"
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"Oh, not one from here."
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"Balki, that little old lady took advantage of you."
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"Every panhandler on the block knows you by your first name: Sucker."
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"You gotta stop being so nice."
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"Okay, you're right."
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"I'll never be nice again."
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"Let me get that for you."
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"Ritz Discount."
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"Oh, hi, Gus."
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"You're kidding."
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"Gus, this means a lot to me. Thanks."
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"Cousin Larry, you were nice to that person on the phone."
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"I got a tip from a friend who works at the Wycliffe Hotel."
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"Dolly Parton. I love her."
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"Cousin Larry, you know, someday, I'm going to look at you and say:"
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"And do you know why?"
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"Are you crazy?"
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"Door three. - Door number two."
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"Uh. Unbelievable."
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"I jumped into another cab and said, "Follow that car.""
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"And in case you're wondering, they don't do that."
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"I found out why she's staying under an assumed name."
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"She checked into a room with a man who is not her husband."
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"This is a sure sale."
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"If he's not her husband, what's he doing in her room?"
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"Balki, she's having an affair."
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"Dolly Parton wouldn't do that."
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"Maybe it's her brother."
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"Yeah."
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"Well, there are newspapers who'll buy a picture of them, whoever he is."
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"What if they don't want their picture taken?"
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"They don't. That's what makes newspapers wanna buy it."
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"Well, don't you think you're stepping on her privacy?"
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"Look, Balki, in America, a famous person gives up their right to privacy."
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"...it's gonna take a lot of talent and luck."
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"I've got the talent, and Dolly Parton is my luck."
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"What I'm saying is that people have a right to know..."
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"...about every aspect of a public figure's life."
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"Taking a picture of Dolly Parton is photojournalism?"
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"Well, it's the photo part."
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"The journalism will have to come later."
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"Of course I have. Don't be ridiculous."
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"Oh, hi, Linda, I forgot you were coming."
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"Oh, well, I hope you're still gonna be able to look after Gorbachev."
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"Well, I'm flattered."
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"Now, remember, he likes to be walked at 10:00."
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"If you wait too long, it'll be an experience you'll never forget."
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"Ten it is. Maybe 9:30."
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"Well, thanks a lot. Hope I can return the favor somehow."
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"Well, I'm sure we can think of something."
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"My flight gets back Tuesday. - Yeah, okay."
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"Bye. - Bye-bye."
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"Great, just what I need. I'm babysitting for the Hound of the Baskervilles."
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"Yeah, good boy. Yeah, good boy."
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"Okay, stay off the bed."
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"Let me ask you something."
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"Linda just gave you a big dog to take care of."
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"Isn't she taking advantage of you?"
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"...in the hope that it will help bond our relationship."
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"You want to bond with her?"
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"Well, she is a stewardess."
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