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Clips from Peep Show - Wedding (S02E02)

"Cos I'm in hell"
Peep Show
"Yeah. Yeah, it is."
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"Yeah."
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"'This is bad, very bad. The canal - perfect venue for the emotional bump-off"
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"'cos if I start screaming, there's no-one to hear."
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"Obviously it wouldn't be a real wedding."
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"No? Oh, right."
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"Well, in that case..."
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"See, it's just my visa's run out and the Home Office called."
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"The happiest administrative procedure of our lives."
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"Hey, I'm home."
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"What do you want me to do with all your toilet books?"
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"Oh, OK, great. Well, thanks for your show of support, mate"
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"Oh, sure. And I suppose that's the reason why you wrote her name"
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"So, Super Hans, what've you been up to?"
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"You mean Yoko? Yeah, hello marriage, goodbye major recording contract."
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"Capital of Indonesia?"
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"- In a word. - Good boy. Why don't you do it?"
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"Yeah, you're right, much more believable. Jamie Lee Curtis, born a hermaphrodite - true or false?"
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"I don't know. I don't wanna come out fighting with just my cock in my hand."
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"Yeah, but I was in charge of the buttons, Mark. I drew a line. You crossed that line."
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"How is the Yank? She started spanking your plank again?"
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"You see, we're very much in love."
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"Of course I meant it, Mark. How've you been?"
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"Fine, fine. The human being's basic needs are really very simple..."
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"food, liquid, entertainment and the regular release of fluids at regular intervals."
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"OK, I'll go and talk to her for you."
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"'Oh, no, she's coming."
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"Say, isn't it funny, all the... coffee?"
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"But if you ever want to call me about anything, then I'm in the book,"
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"'Ohh, can't retract the wink."
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"See you."
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"Hans, is it perhaps time we had a word with Jeremy?"
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"What's his name again?"
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"Sam, mate of Darren's."
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"Aah!!"
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"I don't know, Mark. I'm having second thoughts. He seems really happy."
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"Wa-hey, guys! Sam's gonna be out in an hour or two so..."
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"Listen, Jez, there's something I've been meaning to tell ya that I didn't wanna tell ya."
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"It was pretty disgusting."
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"Mark?"
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"You'll have forgotten her in a week. You know what you're like, you big idiot."
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"Everything's turned from gold... into shit."
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"A joke?"
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"Yeah, we... we were joking."
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"Brilliant. Yeah, you fucking... guys."
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"'There he goes, dead man walking."
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"'Got to let him make his own mistakes like Dad did with me and the Strimmer.'"
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"- I'm sorry? - You know, "Do I?" as in "Do I ever?!""
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"I'm sorry, he's just excited. We're both so happy to be getting married."
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"'Where's Sophie? She said she'd be here."
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"'Don't get hung up, Mark. It's over. Case closed.'"
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"Do I?!"
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"Say "I do.""
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"but we were "Who's this wedding for, us or the tourist board?""
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"Oh, brilliant, what?"
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"Oh, OK... You're not going?"
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"See you later, Jez."
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"Really hope she gets it."
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"- Everything's fucked. - Calm down, it's gonna be OK."
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"and even if I have to die of anxiety making an off-the-cuff speech, we're gonna keep it special."
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"But I say to those cynics,"
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"In modern days, it's the Home Office."
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"No, seriously, I would never make that joke."
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"I say to Nancy, "Good luck with the interview""
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"and raising our glasses... to true love."
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"I shouldn't have to be a machine in bed just because I meditate."
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"Next time I have acupuncture I'll get someone else to do it for me."
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"I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out some time."
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"Hey, Mark. Karen."
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"Are you all right?"
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"Yeah. It's all actually finally over."
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"It's probably for the best."
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"Anyway, let's get pissed. Bollocks to love!"
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"Bollocks to love!"
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"Yeah, we just arranged to go out."
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"Oh, right, great."
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"Mark, what do you think? My wife was saying maybe move that to there."
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"Dooby dooby dooby dooby doo"
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"Dooby dooby dooby dooby doo..."
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"If you think I was, I'll stop."
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"It's OK. We know."
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"Oh, good. Pretty good."
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"No, no, it's brilliant."
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"Obviously there are sometimes... niggles."
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"It's all about compromise."
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"Compromise, niggles? Jesus, Jez."
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"You don't think? Isn't it normal for there to be little differences?"
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"Sounds like you're in a hellhole."
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"It's true, it is kind of annoying."
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"Last night we had to watch a whole load of Robin Williams' movies."
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"The guy is a stupid little... gherkin"
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"Have an affair."
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"Can you please stop doing that?"
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"Mummy, Daddy, me, you... John Major."
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"Sure! As simple as me closing the door."
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"Who's that?"
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"'Oh, Jesus, don't kill me, I'm not her date. Kill him."
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"That's mine, pal."
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"'Oh, God, it's gotta be me.'"
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"Listen, Jeff,"
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"But, um... it kinda got me thinking."
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"Anyway, I got thinking that those feelings about guilt around sex,"
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"maybe they won't be such a problem any more."
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"'Fuck niggles, she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
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"'Oh, God, why did I... with Toni?"
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"Oh! You are gonna pay for that!"
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"'Toni, shit, gotta deal with Toni.'"
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"I'll get him a Scotch egg. That will usually take his mind off it."
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"wrong."
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"- What? - Tony ran for the hills."
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"He's at home in Lincoln getting his tummy rubbed by lovely Mummy."
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"about you and your cock?"
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"Really nice."
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"If living is without you"
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"'Public humiliation. Welcome to my world, Jeff."
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"'Although personally I wouldn't've picked that dress to cry on.'"
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"I'm on my way to see Metallica at Wembley Arena"
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"and I've taken a coupla Es so I'm gonna start feeling pretty horny."
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"'Metallica... milk? '"
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