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Clips from Archer - Bel Panto: Part II (S07E07)

"So glad you could rejoin us. Take him somewhere."
Archer
"Maybe there's a workshop with pliers, a car battery..."
Archer
"[Shapiro whimpers]"
Archer
"And find out where Veronica Deane is with that damn necklace!"
Archer
"Well, she's not in the basement."
Archer
"I don't know. You said look everywhere."
Archer
"Come on, ya rat shyster. Move it."
Archer
"But I don't know where she... [grunts]"
Archer
"- Come on! - I'm sorry. How rude of me."
Archer
"[overlapping responses]"
Archer
"- Too bad! - Could we at least use the bathroom?"
Archer
"That was, like, four hours ago!"
Archer
"[frustrated yell]"
Archer
"Oh, my God!"
Archer
"No."
Archer
"[sighs] Split them up, men and women."
Archer
"And so help me God, if you people try anything..."
Archer
"And where the hell is Pinky Brewster?"
Archer
"which I guess shouldn't surprise me,"
Archer
"but somehow still does... has coulrophilia."
Archer
"Good news is, I got you the last slice of pepperoni and mushroom."
Archer
"relatively."
Archer
"You got six or seven of these mopes"
Archer
"in there, dressed as clowns."
Archer
"But so far, they've made no demands."
Archer
"It's the past tense of "are.""
Archer
"Yeah. You're relieved, gnome-nuts. Gimme that."
Archer
"- Yeah, or I could hold it, or... - I'm sorry. Who are you guys?"
Archer
"The guys who haven't been standing around"
Archer
"while a simple hostage negotiation"
Archer
"- Phone. Let's go. - Well, we just tried to call them,"
Archer
"- but then we heard a gunshot, so... - Gimme that."
Archer
"Or I could hold that one, maybe."
Archer
"Now, if you think you're up to the task,"
Archer
"- go negotiate us some coffee. - [line ringing]"
Archer
"which is easier on Mr. Tum-Tums."
Archer
"If I want to talk, I will call you."
Archer
"In the meantime, every time the phone rings,"
Archer
"their limp and bloody corpse"
Archer
"off the roof, on live television!"
Archer
"Is that clear?"
Archer
"- Yep. - [dial tone]"
Archer
"- Not great! - [feedback]"
Archer
"- Not you! - Not great, though."
Archer
"- Yeah, we kicked the shit out of him. - So embarrassing."
Archer
"So, pretty sure he honestly has"
Archer
"you out, one way or another."
Archer
"In the meantime, maybe I should hold on to the Tsarina."
Archer
"In case those assholes find you in here."
Archer
"It's our only bargaining chip."
Archer
"I... I really need to use the restroom."
Archer
"Yeah. Sorry. I've been giving that some thought,"
Archer
"- Desk drawer. - Ugh!"
Archer
"Well, what's the plan? To escape!"
Archer
"the controls for these panic doors."
Archer
"- Yeah. Plus, let Archer handle it. - Wait. Let who?"
Archer
"Archer, one of my detectives. He's..."
Archer
"into Veronica Deane's very old twatch."
Archer
"throwing yourself at Ellis Crane."
Archer
"What?"
Archer
"Suck it, Bechdel Test."
Archer
"- like a D-girl wannabe... - What?"
Archer
"Hmm? Infiltrated the enemy, huh?"
Archer
"The what?"
Archer
"Enema! Just talking about enemas, and, uh,"
Archer
"how clean and fresh they make you feel."
Archer
"I mean, not you, per se, but people,"
Archer
"ya know, in general, I guess."
Archer
"And kids, also, maybe. I don't know"
Archer
"Are whippits still a thing? Point is..."
Archer
"[shivering] ha-ha, ho-ho-ho..."
Archer
"and see if the cat licks it up: we cut the power."
Archer
"- To the house... - Zerp!"
Archer
"Oh, right. They are electric."
Archer
"Yeah, so do you and kitty wanna lick me"
Archer
"through how that's supposed to work?"
Archer
"Two squads of six, breach formation,"
Archer
"shape charges on steel doors here and here,"
Archer
"detonate, ingress, take out hostiles"
Archer
"with flash-bangs, and/or beanbags,"
Archer
"Yeah. The second you blow the doors,"
Archer
"they're gonna execute everybody."
Archer
"Which is the tactical equivalent of"
Archer
"a cat puking on your duvet cover."
Archer
"Come on. Let's go. Here we go. Move it, move it, move it."
Archer
"And I really need to check in with my babysitter, so..."
Archer
"- Typical. - Shut up."
Archer
"- [Cheryl] Make me. Ow! - [slap lands]"
Archer
"- Well... - [bones cracking]"
Archer
"I heard you were getting your ass beat."
Archer
"Was it Ain't-Two-Dee-Two?"
Archer
"- Okay, so, if you're right... - Which..."
Archer
"We have to find out which one is him."
Archer
"Ow! Come... Ow! Damn it! Come on!"
Archer
"That's... Ow! Okay! Ow!"
Archer
"- Okay! Stop! Ow! Ow! - Excuse me, green one?"
Archer
"She needs the bathroom again."
Archer
"You just went!"
Archer
"- I know, but... - She has diarrhea!"
Archer
"Ugh!"
Archer
"Seriously."
Archer
"- Ya know... - What? You were the one"
Archer
"shoving pizza in your gob like it owed you money."
Archer
"Giggles, go with her."
Archer
"[singsongy] Ready when you are."
Archer
"- Do you think she's in on the caper? - Or just giving him props"
Archer
"for slapping the dog piss outta Cyril."
Archer
"Yeah, that does make more sense."
Archer
"- [snoring] - [Pam laughing] Welp."
Archer
"Stay cold, Pony Boy. [laughs]"
Archer
"- So go ahead. - Huh?"
Archer
"- "I'm sorry I kissed that old woman"? - Mm, okay."
Archer
""I don't know what got into me. I can only assume"
Archer
"it was my repressed desire to sleep with my own mother.""
Archer
"So this is all just a big joke to you, huh?"
Archer
"Well, if we live through this, we"
Archer
"are gonna have a long talk, Archer."
Archer
"- Who? - [imitating Giggles] "Who"?"
Archer
"I know you took out the green clown, and... and..."
Archer
"- took his, uh... - ♪ ♪"
Archer
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