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Clips from The Office - Safety Training (S03E03)

"But I am giving everyone a little bit of a treat."
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"We are going to listen in on Darryl's presentation at the warehouse."
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"And if I know Darryl, it gonna be zoppity."
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"Now,"
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"You need a license to operate this machine."
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"That means the upstairs office workers can't drive it."
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"Quiz. Mike."
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"Should you drive the forklift?"
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"You should not drive it."
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"You should not drive the forklift."
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"You understand? You're not allowed to drive the forklift."
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"It's not safe. You don't have a license."
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"Guys, I'm not the only one who's driven the forklift."
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"Pudge has driven the forklift."
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"Madge."
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"I thought your name was Pudge."
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"No. It's always been Madge."
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"Her? Yes, "Her" is qualified to work a dangerous machine. You are not."
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"Do you understand that? Yes."
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"We've never made it a full year."
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"This particular time, I was reaching"
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"Hey, Darryl, how's it hanging?"
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"And I fell and busted my ankle and..."
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"I'm legitimately scared for my workers."
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"The baler can flatten a car engine."
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"It can cut off your arm and crush"
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"How many people a year do you think get their arms"
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"Damn it, Michael, pay attention, man."
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"Anybody want to take a guess?"
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"Would you like to be one of them?"
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"No, don't worry about it. We'll just go double or nothing."
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"Nice. What are you guys talking about?"
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"down here and the upstairs workers..."
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"Michael?"
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"Yes. Yes."
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"It's not a trash compactor!"
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"Don't disrespect a baler, Mike."
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"All right, all right, I got it! I got it!"
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"Only on the rarest of occasions would I go near..."
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"for you to go near this stuff, okay?"
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"Toby now has the floor"
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"and he is going to try not to screw this up"
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"like everything else in his life."
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"Let me rephrase that."
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"and make it sound just as good as Darryl."
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"Okay, one thing you're going to want to"
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"It's recommended that you take a 10-minute break"
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"from typing every hour."
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"For your circulation, you're going to"
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"want to get up out of your chairs"
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"Yes. Good. Fine. Like stretching and..."
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"Yeah, your computer screen can be a big strain on your eyes,"
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"so it's also recommended that you step away for about 10 minutes every hour."
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"Take them at the same time."
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"So skip ahead to the really dangerous stuff."
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"No. No."
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"You always want to keep a sweater or cardigan"
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"of some sort in case it gets drafty."
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"That will work."
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"KEVIN: Long johns? CREED: A shawl?"
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"You know, anything that warms you."
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"Okay, you know what, I think that everybody"
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"is going to vomit due to boredom."
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"Seasonal affective disorder."
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"A depression that includes weight gain,"
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"fatigue, irritability, brought on by the low light of winter."
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"Thank God we only had a baler to deal with."
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"Yeah, that dim light is a bitch, ain't it?"
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"Okay. Guys, you know what?"
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"I didn't interrupt when you were having your presentation."
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"Okay. Let's do another one."
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"This is a good one."
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"A particular concern for office workers"
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"is a sedimentary lifestyle which can contribute..."
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"Sedentary."
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"Yes. Which can contribute to heart disease."
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"That's called having a fat butt, Michael."
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"No. No, it's sedentary."
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"Yeah, that's fat butt disease."
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"That's what you suffer from?"
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"You have fat butt disease, Michael?"
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"Excuse me, sea monster, you weigh like a thousand pounds."
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"Yeah? Yeah."
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"I bet you'd like to swim with this sea monster, wouldn't you?"
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"Dude, please tell your girl to shut up."
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"What?"
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"Kelly, you've insulted the gentleman."
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"Are you kidding me?"
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"All right, we out of here."
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"That's what we've been trying to tell you, Mike."
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"Nerf ball."
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"Okay."
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"What? So, Nerf isn't cool anymore?"
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"MICHAEL: Darryl thinks he's such a man because he works in a warehouse."
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"Well, big deal!"
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"I'd like to see Darryl greet people."
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"He'd probably make them feel like wimps."
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"Hello, I'm Michael. Welcome to Men's Wearhouse."
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"We have a special on khaki pants today."
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"This is one example."
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"Really? Ten? That's your guess?"
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"You're a professional accountant."
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"Forty-two."
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"51. Don't be that person."
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"Oh, come on. That is lame. It's a strategy."
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"but it's fun."
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"Ten. Ten's out."
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"Damn it! Forty-seven, 48,"
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"forty-nine. Jim wins."
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"Hours and hours."
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"Okay. Okay."
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"Pam, depression is as scary as a baler, right?"
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"I don't understand the question."
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"Yeah."
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"Nobody commits suicide because they work with a baler."
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"And yet those guys are making fun of me,"
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"That..."
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"Their safety training had visuals."
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"You are so right."
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"You don't go to the science museum"
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