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Clips from The Office - Safety Training (S03E03)

"Good morning, Pam."
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"Several weeks ago, Andy Bernard had an incident."
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"Hey, Andy. How are you, man?"
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"I was shunned from the age of four until my sixth birthday"
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"Andy... No, it's too far."
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"this is the forklift."
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"I can and I have."
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"We do safety training every year or after an accident."
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"for a supply box on the top shelf"
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"when one office worker, who shall remain nameless,"
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"Yeah!"
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"cut off in a baler?"
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"Five bucks says it's over fifty."
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"You really want to bet? Anybody?"
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"How many? Okay. You're on."
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"Ten people."
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"I don't know. I'll figure something out."
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"...should not go anywhere near them."
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"But it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world..."
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"It would be the worst thing in the world. It would."
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"What the hell is wrong with this man? Very much so."
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"It's a big red trash compactor."
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"MICHAEL: It's very dangerous, okay."
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"No, you don't touch it! There is no occasion"
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"Here we go!"
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"look out for is carpal tunnel syndrome."
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"and move around for about 10 minutes every hour."
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"Wow? That is... That time really adds up."
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"Like sometimes computers can explode, can they not?"
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"What about a long-sleeved tee?"
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"Sorry. He is very lame."
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"Let's see."
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"Actually, you did."
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"Yes."
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"Please apologize."
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"Yes."
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"We do dangerous stuff, man. This is shenanigans, foolishness."
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"never having to risk it."
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"I was a greeter."
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"I'm going to say 50."
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"It's called being smart. Thank you."
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"He has spent hours up here at reception with you."
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"Okay."
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"Working in an office can lead to depression, which can lead to suicide."
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"Yeah."
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"They have visual aids and all we had were the facts."
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"Indubitably."
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"Because you know what our killer is?"
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"and we're going to have another safety seminar."
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"And then I say, "Hey, you ever seen a suicide?""
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"And I jump."
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""Hey, I should have been nicer to Michael.""
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"number three becomes number two, etcetera, etcetera."
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"Oh, no, what do I do?"
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"I go online, I go click, click, click"
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"You're such a ditz."
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"Letterman style. Throw a TV over or..."
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"We measured it once."
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"Seedless?"
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"Just..."
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"Hey, Creed."
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"Yes!"
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"What?"
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"Nice!"
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"I don't know this place as well as I thought I did."
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"Let's do it. Drop that sucker."
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"Yeah! Bingo!"
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"(CAR ALARM BLARING)"
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"see if he handles hate crimes."
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"Got it."
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"I'm temporarily lifting the shun."
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"You mean a Moonbounce."
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"Yes. Thank you for seeing that."
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"No."
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"Doing! Totally doing!"
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"Un-shun. Never. Re-shun."
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"Do I need my jacket?"
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"Will I be too warm in a long-sleeved tee?"
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"Yes."
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"You said to just..."
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"That's the whole point, dummy."
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"Okay. I'm on it."
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"Okay?"
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"If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar,"
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"Well, you know, the first performance was a little off,"
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"but I really think they hit their stride in the second show."
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"Oh, excuse me. It's my favorite part."
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"Yeah."
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"What is it?"
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"A Repliee-Q-One-Expo female robot."
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"You jump, you're going to seriously hurt yourself."
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"You told me that I lead a..."
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"A lot of things."
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"It's complicated with Jan."
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"And I don't know where I stand or what I want."
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"Mike,"
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"you're a very brave man."
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"Okay."
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"MICHAEL: An office is as safe as the people in it."
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"Oh, welcome back, Andy."
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"Drew. I'm Drew now."
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"But after five weeks in anger management,"
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"I'm back, and I've got a new attitude and a new name"
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"and a bunch of new techniques"
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"for dealing with the grumpies."
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"What's that?"
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"Cool."
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"Drew."
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"How's it going, man?"
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"Yes. I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years."
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"It's an Amish technique."
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"It's like slapping someone with silence."
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"Jim, could you please inform Andy Bernard"
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"that he is being shunned?"
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"Okay. Tell him that that's not true."
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"one single fact about bear attacks."
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"Tell him that bears can climb faster than they can run."
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"Jim, tell him!"
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"Damn you."
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"MICHAEL: Today is safety training day."
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