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Clips from Night Court - Hi Honey, I'm Home (S01E01)

"- You wanted to see us, Your Honor? - Yes. I wanted to see you all."
Night Court
"Baby, are you all right?"
Night Court
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine."
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"Here's the aspirin."
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"Is that comfortable?"
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"It's supposed to help drainage."
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"I have a lot of internal weeping."
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"Come on, Dan. Let's go find a place for you to lie down."
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"I won't. I won't. Careful. There's a little warp in the floor."
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"So we've got a real toughie here, don't we?"
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"- Not really, judge, the way I see it. - That was a rhetorical question, Mr. Bowers."
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"A few good men."
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"Hey, look, buddy. You stole my wife, okay?"
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"But don't be knocking the Corps!"
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"Put a lid on it."
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"Now, Mrs. Sedgewick..."
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"...it's up to you."
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"- What is? - You've gotta choose between these men."
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"Will it be Mitch..."
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"...or husband number two?"
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"I don't..."
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"I don't know!"
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"They are two completely different men..."
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"How do you measure love?"
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"- Well, in boot camp, we... - Mitch."
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"But I think I've got an answer to this problem."
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"- You do? - Simple, really."
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"You're gonna feel silly you didn't think of it yourselves."
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"You two guys share her."
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"- What?! - What do you think?"
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"Mitch?"
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"I think your porch light's burned out, judge."
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"...but trust me, you'll get used to it."
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"...or working out a sleeping schedule, but, hey..."
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"I love two people."
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"That doesn't sound as bad as it feels."
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"Yeah."
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"- Your Honor, l... - Charley, I want you to draft a document."
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"You can take it to your lawyers, have it modified, add clauses."
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"Miss Tracy?"
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"Your dress."
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"Beef stew."
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"You've been in the swill again, haven't you?"
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"Everybody ready? We'll start off with place of residence..."
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"...and move on to nocturnal visitation... - That won't be necessary, Your Honor."
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"I've decided to step out of the picture."
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"- Is this going to be a contract or... - I'm working."
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"- Then I should just... - Watch."
Night Court
"What are you saying?"
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"I'm saying I just can't stand to see you suffer anymore, Nora."
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"...but I'd rather give you up than make your life miserable."
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"Mitch..."
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"...she's all yours."
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"Oh, whatever."
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"Yep. Just like that."
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"How can you do that?"
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"Don't you want to put up a fight or anything?"
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"Duane is putting up a fight, Nora, with himself."
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"Doesn't it, Mitch?"
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"Yeah, it does."
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"You love her that much, huh?"
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"Yeah..."
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"...I guess you do."
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"He likes to work around the apartment in his spare time."
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"Not like me, huh?"
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"Well, it's tough to putter when you're gone..."
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"...for two and three years at a stretch."
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"Never got used to it, huh?"
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"We'll stay in touch."
Night Court
"Sir, how did you get them talking?"
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"Didn't Solomon do that?"
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"Real short judge, works the day shift, right?"
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"Good luck to you, old man."
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"But if I ever hear you've been mistreating her..."
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"You're crushing my hand."
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"Well, judge..."
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"...about those charges..."
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"There are no charges if nobody's pressing them."
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"I don't see anybody pressing them."
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"I don't wanna sound like a heel..."
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"...but I got this wandering blood in me, you know..."
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"And most women need the other kind."
Night Court
"You're a pretty big guy yourself, Mr. Bowers."
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"Right. No identification."
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"- No records. - No taxes, no bills."
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"You should let somebody know. You've gotta earn a living."
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"Well, I'm checking the classified of Soldier of Fortune magazine."
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"Gotta be a war going on somewhere."
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"Adios, judge."
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"Mitch?"
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"You too."
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"I like him."
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"But if I were you, I'd tattoo a little personality on him."
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"Ready, pumpkin?"
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"All set, Dobie."
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"- Thank you. - You're welcome."
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"Yes, judge, thank you."
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"You've been awfully..."
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"Strange."
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"- Goodbye. - Goodbye, now."
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"I knew you would."
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"Oh, hello."
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"What did I tell you about this stuff?"
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"I'm sorry. I sent it earlier."
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"No. I'll be all right. Really."
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"Come on, Bernie. Chins up."
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"You know..."
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"- I can't believe that. - It's true."
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"But what you said about relationships..."
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"...living out the golden years..."
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"...but no more marriage talk. - You got it."
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"But I can't promise that I won't get affectionate."
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"Here you are, fella."
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"Well, 18 floors into a nice, soft mailbag."
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"You only got eight left, pal."
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"- Good evening, Your Honor. - Hi, Liz."
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"Hi, everybody."
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"Hi, Selma. How did it go?"
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"How did what go?"
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"Oh, come on, Selma. Don't keep us all in suspense."
Night Court
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