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Clips from Night Court - Hi Honey, I'm Home (S01E01)

"- Not lately. - Oh, that could be him."
Night Court
"My pleasure, sir."
Night Court
"- Looks great. - I can do it over if you'd like."
Night Court
"Pretty, obedient, and knows the meaning of the word "fetch.""
Night Court
"Dan!"
Night Court
"I know. Who needs a lecture, right?"
Night Court
"I would be."
Night Court
"No. Wait."
Night Court
"My name is Bernie."
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"...on me? - Sure."
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"Oh, sir, I threw it out for you."
Night Court
"Old bunny parts do that."
Night Court
"In the old days, we used to bury them."
Night Court
"Then they never gave any trouble again."
Night Court
"Have a seat, pumpkin."
Night Court
"That I seduced Nora while he was away."
Night Court
"I am telling you, it was not physical."
Night Court
"Say what?"
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"Right away."
Night Court
"All right. I've had enough!"
Night Court
"- I can't breathe. - That's normal."
Night Court
"Not in my family."
Night Court
"- Thank you, sir. - Yuck!"
Night Court
"Tuna juice. Leaky bag in the garbage."
Night Court
"No, it's okay. I'm left-handed."
Night Court
"I was hoping you'd say that."
Night Court
"Fish."
Night Court
"Extra-strength or regular?"
Night Court
"And please, stop making a fuss over me."
Night Court
"Bernie, I'm sure you're a nice guy and all that..."
Night Court
"I'm just not that superstitious."
Night Court
"Roll over!"
Night Court
"- No, sir. - It's okay."
Night Court
"Okay. Don't let go."
Night Court
"...and yet I love them both."
Night Court
"Rhetorical again, huh?"
Night Court
"It may mean an extra chair at the breakfast table..."
Night Court
"I'll get a pad."
Night Court
"- It won't? - No."
Night Court
"- That's real decent of you, Dobie. - Duane."
Night Court
"Takes a big man to do what he just did."
Night Court
"Yeah."
Night Court
"I do."
Night Court
"What does this guy do? Does he stay home a lot or what?"
Night Court
"Yeah, I could never get into all that stuff..."
Night Court
"Never."
Night Court
"We'll stay in touch."
Night Court
"Yeah."
Night Court
"Easy. I just made an absurd suggestion."
Night Court
"You mean?"
Night Court
"- Then I can go now? - Sure. I'll clear it with the DA."
Night Court
"Hey, thanks, judge."
Night Court
"...and I know I can't stay home forever."
Night Court
"Yeah. And I'm also dead, judge."
Night Court
"As long as you know."
Night Court
"Oh, sir, you handled that with great skill."
Night Court
"I just got lucky."
Night Court
"Don't worry. I won't bother you anymore."
Night Court
"Don't get depressed on me."
Night Court
"- Thank you. - You're welcome."
Night Court
"- You'll go with me? - I'll go with you..."
Night Court
"Bring a box of Reggie Bars, and you got a shot."
Night Court
"- Dan, how's the nose? - It's all right."
Night Court
"Oh, that."
Night Court
"Your Honor."
Night Court
"Anybody seen the judge?"
Night Court
"No. Harry usually twirls more."
Night Court
"I just danced you down the halls of the building."
Night Court
"- Yes, sir. - Doesn't that strike you as odd?"
Night Court
"A little."
Night Court
"Most people react with alarm when I do that kind of stuff."
Night Court
"- I'll try and do better next time, sir. - Oh, no. That's okay."
Night Court
"I appreciate your indifference."
Night Court
"Not for my taste. How's that for a type job, guys?"
Night Court
"- Nice! - Pretty."
Night Court
"Wow. No smudges."
Night Court
"- Keep up the good work. - I'll try, sir."
Night Court
"- What a nice woman. - Perfect."
Night Court
"Come on! She's been running around like an attention-starved puppy..."
Night Court
"...for the last couple of weeks."
Night Court
"Weren't you eager to please when you were just starting out?"
Night Court
"Sucking up to people who can help you is one thing."
Night Court
"Being nice to everybody is sick."
Night Court
"Hello, gorgeous!"
Night Court
"- Tell me, what do you need, darling? - Pack of cigarettes."
Night Court
"They say smoking is bad for you, you know."
Night Court
"Then give me a plug of tobacco and a can to spit in."
Night Court
"All I'm saying is that a body like that..."
Night Court
"...you should be good to it."
Night Court
"I'll find a vending machine."
Night Court
"Here, Selma."
Night Court
"- How much? - They're on the house."
Night Court
"Then I'll take a carton."
Night Court
"Selma, I hope you won't mind my saying this..."
Night Court
"...but I've had my eye on you for quite a while."
Night Court
"I need matches too."
Night Court
"Selma, please. I'm only human."
Night Court
"But wait! How about some dinner..."
Night Court
"- Well, hello again. - I got a gun, Bernie."
Night Court
"You look very sexy in that uniform."
Night Court
"I do very well financially, you know."
Night Court
"- Is that so? - You know that stand in there?"
Night Court
"That's only the tip of the iceberg."
Night Court
"I got another one, much bigger. Over in the municipal building."
Night Court
"I sell more breath mints than anybody else in the city."
Night Court
"Ready whenever you're through rummaging, sir."
Night Court
"- Just a minute. - Looking for something, Your Honor?"
Night Court
"Yeah. My rabbit's foot."
Night Court
"The arrest report on the next case."
Night Court
"- What did it look like? - It was about this big, fuzzy."
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"- Green? - Yeah."
Night Court
"Threw it out?"
Night Court
"Miss Tracy, that was my lucky rabbit's foot. I had it for over 25 years."
Night Court
"- Oh, my God. - Now, don't worry, honey."
Night Court
"It was just laying there, shedding on your papers..."
Night Court
"...and smelling funny."
Night Court
"Don't worry about it."
Night Court
"Cancel my hang-gliding lesson, okay, Charley?"
Night Court
"If this is gonna take a while, I need to hit the head before we start."
Night Court
"Mitchell Bowers, Your Honor. The defendant, my client."
Night Court
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