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Clips from American Dad! (2005) - Comedy (S01E01)

"Athlete? Stan, your son's a geek."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Aah!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- The cyber-terrorist has struck again. - That's right, Greg."
American Dad! (2005)
"Someone promised to make me paella this weekend."
American Dad! (2005)
"Great. Now it seems like an obligation instead ofa treat."
American Dad! (2005)
"Forget national security! We have a real crisis! Our son is a geek!"
American Dad! (2005)
"You knew? What else haveyou been hiding?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Please! Please tell me you slept with another man!"
American Dad! (2005)
"and then apologized, embarrassed, but he said..."
American Dad! (2005)
""No, baby. You grab whatyou need to grab to keep doing whatyou're doing.""
American Dad! (2005)
"and have a wonderful time."
American Dad! (2005)
"You need ein facial. I'll call Mai Ling and makeyou an appointment."
American Dad! (2005)
"No, no, it's good. I-lt's fine. The costume's nice and spacious."
American Dad! (2005)
"There's enough room in here for everything, except my self-respect."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Let it go, Hayley."
American Dad! (2005)
"It's like a force field for my boy parts."
American Dad! (2005)
"Ha, ha, ha, ha. Yes, yes. Unfortunately, the game's been rained out."
American Dad! (2005)
"- You know, we could still do something together. - We sure could."
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, good-bye!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, Steve. Want to burn bugs with a magnifying glass?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Wait. It's not raining."
American Dad! (2005)
"Wow! Your dad used a rain machine to ditch you? Why the hell would he do that?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Knock it out ofthe park, Son!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Your son is phenomenal, Smith. - Thankyou, sir."
American Dad! (2005)
"- No one told you to talk! - I'm sorry, Son."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, Stan. How come I've never seen this son ofyours before?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Darnelle's been to the office a hundred times!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Or are black people invisible toyou, you racist bastard?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Way to go, Son!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Thanks. That's a good deal."
American Dad! (2005)
"What areyou doin'on mycorner?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Th-That came out wrong."
American Dad! (2005)
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Please! Let's talk this out! Pl- Ow!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, i-i-i-it was, uh, it was great. Great."
American Dad! (2005)
"Great. Great. What's, uh, what's that on your shoulder?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I was at the softball game, Dad! I sawyou with him!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Uh, Francine!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- What kind offatherwould do that to his own son?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Mr. Smith, you're whatwe call in the business a Class "A" grinder."
American Dad! (2005)
"Now I'm not talking about the sandwich grinder..."
American Dad! (2005)
"or the organ grinderyou mayfind locked in sweaty coitus with your father..."
American Dad! (2005)
"one fateful afternoon in Rome."
American Dad! (2005)
"No, you're a Class "A" grinder..."
American Dad! (2005)
"meaning thatyou grind your teeth so fervently that you need braces."
American Dad! (2005)
"I onlywish, Mr. Smith."
American Dad! (2005)
"with that filthy fat gypsy."
American Dad! (2005)
"before that shrieking monkey drove me from the room."
American Dad! (2005)
"Do we ever pay our dues, Mr. Smith?"
American Dad! (2005)
"This morning the cyber-terrorist struck again."
American Dad! (2005)
"Agent Smith, could you tell us the location?"
American Dad! (2005)
"The Securities and Exchange Commission."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Oh, ha, ha, veryfunny."
American Dad! (2005)
"Therefore, because we have no leads, this afternoon we'll be raiding a mosque."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Oh, ha, ha. Real mature, guys."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm afraid the arbitrary raid on that mosque has been canceled due to rain."
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, I might as well get my rainy-day mix tape out ofthe car."
American Dad! (2005)
"They all went on a mission and left me behind like- like I was... a geek!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, nowyou know howyou made Steve feel."
American Dad! (2005)
"Soyou need to go to him and apologize and tell him how much you love him."
American Dad! (2005)
"Fine. IfI'm gonna be a geek, l might as well be a sissytoo."
American Dad! (2005)
"I steal your bag ofholding, cut off your head with myvorpal blade..."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Whoa! Easy, Steve. - I am notyour father, okay?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm just Balthor, a simple ogre blacksmith trying to make a living."
American Dad! (2005)
"- So I give you an elf curse! - Oh, my God!"
American Dad! (2005)
"What? Wait. May I?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Sweet Sally Struthers. I can say sweet Sally Struthers!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Of course. The Yiddish Elvis. - No. The language ofthe elves."
American Dad! (2005)
"Look, Steve, ifyou could translate his notes..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Look, Mr. Smith, your stress zits are going away. Yea!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, God, l want to hityou!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Of course! He was taunting us about his attack on the Securities Exchange Commission."
American Dad! (2005)
"If only there was some clue as to who this elusive mastermind is."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Holy crap! The Dan Vebber? - You know this monster?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Areyou kidding? He's only the contributing editor of Wizards andShut-lns magazine."
American Dad! (2005)
"And tonight, there's only one place he could be- the sci-fi convention."
American Dad! (2005)
"But next time, maybe say sci-fi con or S.F.C., because time is ofthe essence."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Where are you going? - Sci-fi convention!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, my God! Ifhe had just held on!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Huh? Oh, no, no. I sleep like this sometimes. It's good for my back."
American Dad! (2005)
"So where are we going?"
American Dad! (2005)
"What do we know about Dan Vebber?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Well, he's a grown man obsessed with The Lordofthe Rings- - That's it!"
American Dad! (2005)
"he hopes to create a Middle Earth in the here and now."
American Dad! (2005)
"That's it! I've cracked it!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Good God! Who's manning the Internet?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I don't know who he's playing, but he is so committed."
American Dad! (2005)
"Do not invite him back to the apartment."
American Dad! (2005)
"I can actually make a connection with people as me."
American Dad! (2005)
"- No? Well, suityourself."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, it's- it's you!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Oh, God! This guy. - You know him?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- It's me, Kurt. - Right. Right, Kurt."
American Dad! (2005)
"- How ya doing? - How am I doing? You probed me!"
American Dad! (2005)
"But, hey, that's okay because you're back..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Um, look, just, uh, hang out atyour booth and I'll swing back by..."
American Dad! (2005)
"and we'll piece together the shattered remains ofyour life or- orwhatever."
American Dad! (2005)
"Ten minutes, right here. Keep walking."
American Dad! (2005)
"Yes. Were it not for the one ring which bestows the power of invisibility."
American Dad! (2005)
"Dad, I know people here."
American Dad! (2005)
"Fellow dorks, this is the man who convinced Lucas..."
American Dad! (2005)
"to not release the anamorphic, 5.1 DVD transfers..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Frodo lives and you must die."
American Dad! (2005)
"No!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Ooh! Ooh! - Freeze, you big-footed freak!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Dan Vebber does not fearyou, for he is ushering in the age of magic."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Well done, Smith."
American Dad! (2005)
"I sure have, Son. And I'm glad you enjoyed this auto show."
American Dad! (2005)
"I don't get it, Roger. You say you want to connect with people..."
American Dad! (2005)
"and then you spend two hours in the bathroom..."
American Dad! (2005)
"I can't believe l agreed to do this."
American Dad! (2005)
"And you'll all know I'm not crazy! And we can be a family again!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, God! Don't look. Don't look."
American Dad! (2005)
"# I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day #"
American Dad! (2005)
"I am the ElfWarrior ofGallendror!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, your freshly brushed teeth will make a minty necklace for my troll king!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Oh, snap!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Roger, have you lost your mind? You know you can't let Steve's friends see you."
American Dad! (2005)
"They'll never take their eyes off my sweater meat."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Good job, Son. Takeyour base."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Areyou saying our son is a loser? - No, of course not. I'm just-"
American Dad! (2005)
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