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Clips from Clerks. (1994)

"A roofer listens to this, not his wallet."
Clerks. (1994)
"They say so much, but they never tell you if it's any good."
Clerks. (1994)
"Are either one of these any good ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"- Sir ? - What ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"- Are either one of these any good ? - l don't watch movies."
Clerks. (1994)
"[ Sighs ] Well, have you heard anything about either one of them ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"I find it's best to stay out of other people's affairs."
Clerks. (1994)
"You mean you haven't heard anybody say anything about either one of these ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"[ Sighs ]"
Clerks. (1994)
"[ Sighs ] These are the same two movies."
Clerks. (1994)
"- You weren't paying any attention. - No, l wasn't."
Clerks. (1994)
"I don't think your manager would appreciate it--"
Clerks. (1994)
"- l don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am. - l beg your pardon ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to trick me."
Clerks. (1994)
"I was only pointing out that you weren't paying any attention to what l was saying."
Clerks. (1994)
"And l hope it feels good."
Clerks. (1994)
"- You hope what feels good ? - l hope it feels so good to be right."
Clerks. (1994)
"There's nothing more exhilarating..."
Clerks. (1994)
"than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"[ Heavy Sigh ] Well, this is the last time l rent here !"
Clerks. (1994)
"- Hey, you're not allowed to rent here anymore ! - [ Jay ] Yeah !"
Clerks. (1994)
"Screw me ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"- She in here ? - This guy's going through all the eggs."
Clerks. (1994)
"- Perfect dozen ? - Each egg has to be perfect."
Clerks. (1994)
"- l told him that, and he yelled at me. - What'd he say ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"It's not like you laid the eggs yourself."
Clerks. (1994)
"I give him five more minutes. After that, I'm calling the cops."
Clerks. (1994)
"- I'm as puzzled as you. - I've actually seen it before."
Clerks. (1994)
"- You know him ? - No, but l know the behavior."
Clerks. (1994)
"Stock boy said he'd been looking through cartons of eggs for half an hour,"
Clerks. (1994)
"two, three times a week, sometimes more."
Clerks. (1994)
"They call it shell shock. Seems to only happen with guidance counselors."
Clerks. (1994)
"Why guidance counselors ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"- Come to think of it, my guidance counselor was kinda worthless. - See ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys."
Clerks. (1994)
"That's why l manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination."
Clerks. (1994)
"<MUSIC> Go your own way <MUSIC>"
Clerks. (1994)
"Damn, that's eerie."
Clerks. (1994)
"- Do you know how much the average jiz-mopper makes per hour ? - What's a jiz-mopper ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"The guy that cleans up the nudie booths after each guy jerks off."
Clerks. (1994)
"- ""Nudie booth"" ? - Yeah, nudie booth."
Clerks. (1994)
"- You ever been in a nudie booth ? - Guess not."
Clerks. (1994)
"Oh, man, it's great."
Clerks. (1994)
"- And they put on a show for you for, like, ten bucks. - What kind of a show ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"Think of the weirdest, craziest shit you'd like to see chicks do."
Clerks. (1994)
"These chicks do it all. They insert things into any opening on their body."
Clerks. (1994)
"- Any opening. - Can we not talk about this now ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"The jiz-mopper's job is to clean it up after each guy shoots a load."
Clerks. (1994)
"Practically everybody does it right on the window."
Clerks. (1994)
"I don't know if you know this, but cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away."
Clerks. (1994)
"Vermont ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"And he's in Vermont ? I'm not even supposed to be here today !"
Clerks. (1994)
"So I'm stuck here until closing ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"Th--"
Clerks. (1994)
"No. No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you."
Clerks. (1994)
"Yeah, l know."
Clerks. (1994)
"No, l-I'll be all right."
Clerks. (1994)
"- All right, thanks. Bye. - Vermont ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"- Can you fucking believe this ? - He didn't mention that to you this morning ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"Not a word ! Not a fucking word, that slippery shit."
Clerks. (1994)
"- So, what ? You're stuck here all day ? - Fuck !"
Clerks. (1994)
"- Why'd you apologize ? - What ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"- Ever backing down. - l don't back down !"
Clerks. (1994)
"You come in on your day off; you buckle like a belt."
Clerks. (1994)
"- I'm going to miss the fucking game ! - Because you buckled."
Clerks. (1994)
"- Shut up with that shit. It ain't helping ! - Don't yell at me, pal."
Clerks. (1994)
"- I'm sorry. - See ? There you go again."
Clerks. (1994)
"- l can't believe I'm going to miss the fucking game. - At least we're stuck here together."
Clerks. (1994)
"You got a customer."
Clerks. (1994)
"I can't fucking believe this."
Clerks. (1994)
"Yeah, hello, Sanford. Dante."
Clerks. (1994)
"I can't play today. I'm stuck at work."
Clerks. (1994)
"Point is, l can't play today. Neither can Randal. He's working too."
Clerks. (1994)
"Wait a second. Do we have to play at the park ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"Hold on. You feeling limber ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"- Pull my laces tighter, man. - I've got to tell you, my friend,"
Clerks. (1994)
"this is one of the most ballsiest moves I've ever been privy to."
Clerks. (1994)
"I never thought you capable of such a blatant disregard of store policy."
Clerks. (1994)
"- l told him l had a game today. It's his own fault. - No arguments here."
Clerks. (1994)
"- I'm gonna grab a Gatorade. - lf you grab a Gatorade, then everybody's gonna grab one."
Clerks. (1994)
"- So ? - Who's gonna pay for these Gatorades ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"- What do you care, you shoe polish-smelling motherfucker ? - l have a responsibility here."
Clerks. (1994)
"Will you let me maintain some semblance of managerial control ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"No, I'm sayin' if you're gonna be insubordinate, might as well go the full nine,"
Clerks. (1994)
"- He's right. As if we're going to have a run on Gatorade. - Fuckin' A."
Clerks. (1994)
"- l hear Caitlin's marrying an Asian drum major. - Design major."
Clerks. (1994)
"But you're living in denial and suppressing rage, motherfucker."
Clerks. (1994)
"Look who you're asking here. How're we gonna block the street ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"- We're not playing in the street. - Then where are we gonna play ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"- When is this period over ? - Eight more minutes."
Clerks. (1994)
"What, are you shitting me ? I wanna get cigarettes."
Clerks. (1994)
"- Just wait a few minutes. - I'm gonna break my crazy neck on this ladder."
Clerks. (1994)
"Now, lose the skates, Dorothy Hamill, and open the fucking store !"
Clerks. (1994)
"- Dante, where are you ? - He's busy ! - in a second !"
Clerks. (1994)
"Fuck ""in a second"" ! Oh, look at you. You can't even pass."
Clerks. (1994)
"- [ Dante ] l can pass ! - How about covering the point ? Man, you suck !"
Clerks. (1994)
"- Who are you to make assessments ? - I'll assess all l want, pal !"
Clerks. (1994)
"- Dante, you in or out ? - Don't pass to this guy. He sucks. You suck !"
Clerks. (1994)
"I'll knock your fucking teeth out and pass all over your ass !"
Clerks. (1994)
"- You open ? - Yeah, you open ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"[ Together ] No !"
Clerks. (1994)
"All right, there's a stick over there. You're shooting up against this goal."
Clerks. (1994)
"Hey, Redding ! Come on. Get this fucker !"
Clerks. (1994)
"Come on. Let's go, let's go ! Come on, come on. Get him !"
Clerks. (1994)
"Come on. Get him, get him !"
Clerks. (1994)
"- Give me another ball. - There are no more."
Clerks. (1994)
"What the fuck you talking about ? How many balls you bring ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"I brought the orange one and... the orange one."
Clerks. (1994)
"Hey, any balls down there ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"- You only brought one ball ? - l thought Redding brought all the balls."
Clerks. (1994)
"- [ Redding ] Dante had the balls. - Nobody has another ball ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"Shit !"
Clerks. (1994)
"We got what, 12 minutes of a game and it's over ? Fuck !"
Clerks. (1994)
"- So I'm told. - Yeah."
Clerks. (1994)
"I had a friend that chewed glass for a living. in the circus."
Clerks. (1994)
"- And he got cancer from chewing fluorescent bulb glass ? - Nah."
Clerks. (1994)
"- Got hit by a bus. - Oh. Can l help you ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"Well, uh, that depends. You got maybe a toilet in here ?"
Clerks. (1994)
"But l, uh, thought maybe you'd let me use it anyway."
Clerks. (1994)
"I'm not so young anymore and I'm, how do you say, a little incontinent."
Clerks. (1994)
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