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Clips from Seinfeld - The Pitch (S04E04)

"And suddenly, I feel this kick hit me on the side of the head."
Seinfeld
"- Boy, that is some kick. - Newman's helmet, it saved my life."
Seinfeld
"I got bad news for you, buddy."
Seinfeld
"Davola says you're next."
Seinfeld
"Me? Why?"
Seinfeld
"He doesn't like you."
Seinfeld
"See, this is all Elaine's fault. She took off to Europe with his psychiatrist."
Seinfeld
"He can't get his medication. Now I got some nut after me."
Seinfeld
"Wait a second."
Seinfeld
"All right."
Seinfeld
"When you vomit on somebody..."
Seinfeld
"...it is a social faux pas..."
Seinfeld
"...from which there is really no recovery."
Seinfeld
"There's no Hallmark cards that cover this occasion."
Seinfeld
"There's no vomit sympathy-card section of the store, you know."
Seinfeld
"You wear it well. You know, there's no words..."
Seinfeld
"There's no, really, way to phrase the sentiment."
Seinfeld
"Where the hell did I put it?"
Seinfeld
"- Where did I put it? - What are you looking for?"
Seinfeld
"The remote. The remote. I can't find the remote."
Seinfeld
"Did I-? I lost it. Did you take it?"
Seinfeld
"- Did you put it someplace? - No, no, no."
Seinfeld
"- What is what? - All right, very funny. I get it."
Seinfeld
"- You're in a weird mood. - Come on."
Seinfeld
"Go to your apartment and fix it."
Seinfeld
"- Fix what? - Your pants!"
Seinfeld
"What is this? Why do I got one pant leg on for?"
Seinfeld
"Don't you know? Look at your face. You only shaved the right side of your face."
Seinfeld
"- What is this, a joke? - No joke. What? A joke?"
Seinfeld
"You think this is funny?"
Seinfeld
"- Yeah? - It's George."
Seinfeld
"Come on up."
Seinfeld
"- I don't believe this. - You didn't know you were doing this?"
Seinfeld
"...from Crazy Joe Davola. You better see a doctor and get some x-rays."
Seinfeld
"Just the man I'm looking for."
Seinfeld
"- Me? - Yeah. Here you go."
Seinfeld
"- What's this? - A dry-cleaning bill."
Seinfeld
"- From that woman at NBC? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- Dry cleaning bill for what? - For vomiting on her vest."
Seinfeld
"Oh, come on, George. I didn't do that on purpose."
Seinfeld
"- I shouldn't have to pay. - Neither should I."
Seinfeld
"Jerry left the milk in the refrigerator."
Seinfeld
"- I didn't know. - All right."
Seinfeld
"Well, we should all chip in, I guess."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. - How much was it to clean the vest?"
Seinfeld
"Eighteen dollars."
Seinfeld
"Can you get vomit out of suede?"
Seinfeld
"- I don't know. - Yo-Yo Ma!"
Seinfeld
"What? Yo-Yo Ma?"
Seinfeld
"What about him?"
Seinfeld
"He's a cellist."
Seinfeld
"You should see a doctor today."
Seinfeld
"I can't believe she sent a cleaning bill."
Seinfeld
"And it doesn't really bode well for the show."
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah. Right."
Seinfeld
"Like anybody's ever gonna do this."
Seinfeld
"How did you get me to go with that?"
Seinfeld
"A show about nothing."
Seinfeld
"It was a good idea. Susan liked it."
Seinfeld
"Go to your apartment and lie down. I'll make an appointment for a doctor."
Seinfeld
"Hello? Oh, hi, I'm sorry."
Seinfeld
"No, that's my neighbour. He's not quite himself."
Seinfeld
"He got kicked in the head."
Seinfeld
"What? Really? You're kidding."
Seinfeld
"Today? Yeah, sure. We could make it. Two o'clock?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, we could do that."
Seinfeld
"Okay. Great. Thanks a million."
Seinfeld
"- What? - NBC."
Seinfeld
"They wanna have another meeting."
Seinfeld
"We'll be rich! What are we gonna get?"
Seinfeld
"- Fifty, 60 thousand. - I don't know about 60."
Seinfeld
"Oh, it's gotta be 50."
Seinfeld
"You know how much Ted Danson makes?"
Seinfeld
"Ted Danson. How are you comparing us to Ted Danson?"
Seinfeld
"- I didn't say we're Ted Danson. - You did. You said we're Ted Danson."
Seinfeld
"- You know, I think he wears a piece. - Yeah, don't worry. He can afford it."
Seinfeld
"- The one your parents gave you? - It never works."
Seinfeld
"We'll be a little late. I'm not taking a cab."
Seinfeld
"- I'll pay for it. - It's not the money."
Seinfeld
"What is it you object to? The comfort? The speed? The convenience?"
Seinfeld
"- How are you? How's Mom and Dad? - Good. Fine."
Seinfeld
"Are you getting to be too much of a big shot now to give me a call?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, no, I've been kind of busy, that's all."
Seinfeld
"- Danny Barber. - Oh, sure. Danny."
Seinfeld
"Remember, I got my pyjamas for free."
Seinfeld
"I'd come over and give you pyjamas."
Seinfeld
"Funny thing is, I can't wear them. I get too hot."
Seinfeld
"I sleep in my underwear and a T-shirt."
Seinfeld
"If it gets too hot, I just take the T-shirt off. Anyway, Danny says to me:"
Seinfeld
"- You need any pyjamas? - I'm sorry, Uncle Leo."
Seinfeld
"I really gotta get going."
Seinfeld
"Well, you gotta get going, so go."
Seinfeld
"We got a meeting with the president of NBC."
Seinfeld
"- Nobody got a gun to your head. - Yeah. I'm really sorry."
Seinfeld
"Go. Really, I understand."
Seinfeld
"You got an appointment. Go to your appointment."
Seinfeld
"- I'm sorry. Really. - You know..."
Seinfeld
"...I know plenty of people in Hollywood too."
Seinfeld
"Sorry. Really."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah? - Come on, are you ready? Let's go."
Seinfeld
"- For what? - What's with you?"
Seinfeld
"I just talked to you 15 minutes ago."
Seinfeld
"- About what? - The courthouse."
Seinfeld
"- I can't. I'm going to the doctor's later. - You gotta go."
Seinfeld
"You're my alibi. You have to take the stand."
Seinfeld
"- Well, I can't. - Let me remind you of something."
Seinfeld
"You wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for me and my helmet."
Seinfeld
"I saved your life. You would be dead!"
Seinfeld
"Can you begin to comprehend what that means?"
Seinfeld
"But my personal favourite would have to be that we had to invent the helmet."
Seinfeld
"What happened was we were involved..."
Seinfeld
"...in a lot of activities that were cracking our heads."
Seinfeld
"...to help us continue enjoying our head-cracking lifestyles:"
Seinfeld
"The helmet."
Seinfeld
"Not enough people were wearing them..."
Seinfeld
"...which is even stupider. The idea behind the helmet law..."
Seinfeld
"...is to preserve a brain whose judgment is so poor..."
Seinfeld
"...it does not even try to stop the cracking of the head it's in."
Seinfeld
"Did you see the look on his face? Did you see how insulted he was?"
Seinfeld
"What could I do? What are we supposed to do?"
Seinfeld
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