You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Seinfeld - The Pitch (S04E04)

"- You- You do all the talking. Okay? - Oh, relax!"
Seinfeld
"- They're not better than me. - Of course not."
Seinfeld
"- What about me? - What about you?"
Seinfeld
"- You really think so? - No."
Seinfeld
"The bit- The bit I really liked was where the parakeet flew into the mirror."
Seinfeld
"The parakeet in the mirror. That is a good one, Stu."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. One of my favourites."
Seinfeld
"What about you, George? Have you written anything we might know?"
Seinfeld
"Well, possibly. I..."
Seinfeld
"La Cocina."
Seinfeld
"It was a comedy about a Mexican chef."
Seinfeld
"It was- It was very funny."
Seinfeld
"There was one great scene with the chef."
Seinfeld
"What was his name?"
Seinfeld
"And he was making tamales."
Seinfeld
"Oh, he actually cooked on the stage?"
Seinfeld
"No, no, he mimed it. That's what was so funny about it."
Seinfeld
"So, what have you two come up with?"
Seinfeld
"Go ahead."
Seinfeld
"I think I can sum up the show for you with one word:"
Seinfeld
"Nothing."
Seinfeld
"- Nothing? - Nothing."
Seinfeld
"What does that mean?"
Seinfeld
"The show is about nothing."
Seinfeld
"- It's not about nothing. - No, it's about nothing."
Seinfeld
"Well, maybe in philosophy."
Seinfeld
"But even nothing is something."
Seinfeld
"- I'll call back. - D-A-L-R-I-M-P-E-L."
Seinfeld
"Not even close."
Seinfeld
"- What's the premise? - As I was saying, I would play myself..."
Seinfeld
"...as a comedian living in New York..."
Seinfeld
"- Which is all true. - But nothing happens on the show."
Seinfeld
"You see, it's just like life."
Seinfeld
"You know, you eat, you go shopping, you read, you eat..."
Seinfeld
"- ... you read, you go shopping. - You read?"
Seinfeld
"You read on the show?"
Seinfeld
"All right, tell me about the stories."
Seinfeld
"- What kind of stories? - Oh, no. No stories."
Seinfeld
"No stories?"
Seinfeld
"- So, what is it? - What did you do today?"
Seinfeld
"- I got up and came to work. - There's a show. That's a show."
Seinfeld
"Well, maybe something happens to you on the way to work."
Seinfeld
"No. No! No! Nothing happens!"
Seinfeld
"Well, something happens."
Seinfeld
"- Well, why am I watching it? - Because it's on TV."
Seinfeld
"Not yet."
Seinfeld
"Okay, look."
Seinfeld
"If you wanna just keep doing the same old thing..."
Seinfeld
"...then maybe this idea is not for you."
Seinfeld
"I, for one, am not going to compromise my artistic integrity."
Seinfeld
"And I'll tell you something else:"
Seinfeld
"Right?"
Seinfeld
"How about this?"
Seinfeld
"I don't even wanna talk about it anymore."
Seinfeld
"What were you thinking?"
Seinfeld
"What was going on in your mind?"
Seinfeld
"Artistic integrity."
Seinfeld
"Well, where did you come up with that?"
Seinfeld
"You're not artistic, and you have no integrity."
Seinfeld
"You really need some help. A regular psychiatrist couldn't even help you."
Seinfeld
"You need to go to, like, Vienna or something."
Seinfeld
"You know what I mean? You need to get involved at the university level."
Seinfeld
"Like where Freud studied, and have people looking..."
Seinfeld
"...and checking up on you. That's the kind you need."
Seinfeld
"That's what I'm talking about. That's the only way you're gonna get better."
Seinfeld
"I thought the woman was kind of cute."
Seinfeld
"Hold it. I really wanna be clear about this."
Seinfeld
"Are you talking about the woman in the meeting?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah. I thought I might give her a call."
Seinfeld
"I don't meet that many women. I meet, like, three women a year."
Seinfeld
"I mean, we've been introduced. She knows my name."
Seinfeld
"- It's completely inappropriate. - Why?"
Seinfeld
"Maybe she liked me. I mean, she- She was looking right at me."
Seinfeld
"I think she was impressed."
Seinfeld
"We had good eye contact through the whole meeting."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, I forgot to call Kramer. - Wait a minute, let me call Susan."
Seinfeld
"- No, this is more important. - She might leave work any minute."
Seinfeld
"I gotta warn him that I told Joe Davola about his party."
Seinfeld
"What is it?"
Seinfeld
"I was just thinking about this patient of mine."
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"Just wondering if he's taking his medication."
Seinfeld
"Come on. We're on vacation."
Seinfeld
"Well, we were standing in the waiting area there..."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah? - It's George."
Seinfeld
"...and, you know, I just blurted out something about your party."
Seinfeld
"- Back up a second. - I didn't know you didn't invite him."
Seinfeld
"Why would I invite him?"
Seinfeld
"You know he's on medication."
Seinfeld
"- This is Kramer. - Hello."
Seinfeld
"All right, go ahead, Susan. Tell him."
Seinfeld
"- Tell me what? - Well, I-"
Seinfeld
"- Hello? - Hi..."
Seinfeld
"Why don't you give me your home number, and I'll call later?"
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry. We're not alowed to do that."
Seinfeld
"I guess you don't want people calling you at home."
Seinfeld
"- So go ahead. Tell him. - Well-"
Seinfeld
"Kramer, are you drinking that milk?"
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. - What's the expiration date on that?"
Seinfeld
"September third."
Seinfeld
"- The third? - The third?"
Seinfeld
"Never should have brought her up there."
Seinfeld
"Should have known better."
Seinfeld
"I should have seen it coming. I didn't see it coming."
Seinfeld
"I think she saw it coming."
Seinfeld
"You know, she was behind the idea. She was gonna champion the show."
Seinfeld
"I was bringing her up to tell you, and she liked me."
Seinfeld
"Look, just because Kramer vomited on her doesn't mean the deal is dead."
Seinfeld
"What are you, crazy?"
Seinfeld
"It's a traumatic thing to be thrown up on."
Seinfeld
"Vomiting is not a deal-breaker."
Seinfeld
"If Hitler had vomited on Chamberlain..."
Seinfeld
"Chamberlain."
Seinfeld
"You could hold his head in the toilet, he'd still give you half of Europe."
Seinfeld
"Davola came after me."
Seinfeld
"What? Davola?"
Seinfeld
"See, this guy is crazy. I can't believe this. What happened?"
Seinfeld
"Can I get coffee? You know, I was walking home..."
Seinfeld
"I had to pick up my helmet from the shop. I had to get a new strap."
Seinfeld
"So I had it on, and I was checking the strap out to make sure it fit."
Seinfeld
Show more clips