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Clips from Seinfeld - The Pitch (S04E04)

"And she was pretty wild."
Seinfeld
"- I don't remember you with a girl. - Nevertheless."
Seinfeld
"This is a pretty bad deal for Kramer."
Seinfeld
"A radar detector's worth much more than that helmet. You're cheating him."
Seinfeld
"- Don't say anything. - All right."
Seinfeld
"Really."
Seinfeld
"Are you reneging out of the deal? Are you reneging?"
Seinfeld
"- That's a renege. - Stop saying reneging."
Seinfeld
"- Well, you're reneging. - Okay, okay. I'm not reneging."
Seinfeld
"- All right, let go. - Come on."
Seinfeld
"- Let go on three. - Give me that. Just give me that!"
Seinfeld
"- Three. - Here."
Seinfeld
"Thanks, buddy. So long."
Seinfeld
"- Does that thing work? - No."
Seinfeld
"- Really? - Yeah. They're in London now."
Seinfeld
"They'll be back in a few weeks."
Seinfeld
"I can't believe she got involved with her shrink."
Seinfeld
"What about the TV show? Got anything?"
Seinfeld
"No. Nothing."
Seinfeld
"Because people like to say salsa."
Seinfeld
"Do you have any salsa?"
Seinfeld
"We need more salsa. Where is the salsa? No salsa?"
Seinfeld
"...to order seltzer and not get salsa."
Seinfeld
"I wanted seltzer, not salsa."
Seinfeld
"Don't you know the difference between them?"
Seinfeld
"This should be the show. This is the show."
Seinfeld
"Just talking."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. Right."
Seinfeld
"Just talking? Well, what's the show about?"
Seinfeld
"It's about nothing."
Seinfeld
"- No story? - No, forget the story."
Seinfeld
"Remember when we were waiting for that table in that Chinese restaurant?"
Seinfeld
"That could be a TV show."
Seinfeld
"And who's on the show? Who are the characters?"
Seinfeld
"I could be a character."
Seinfeld
"- You? - Yeah. You base a character on me."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. What? There's something wrong with that? I'm a character."
Seinfeld
"People are always saying to me, You know, you're quite a character."
Seinfeld
"And who else is on the show?"
Seinfeld
"Elaine could be a character. Kramer."
Seinfeld
"So everybody I know is a character on the show."
Seinfeld
"- And it's about nothing. - Absolutely nothing."
Seinfeld
"So you're saying I go into NBC and tell them..."
Seinfeld
"...I got this idea for a show about nothing."
Seinfeld
"We go into NBC."
Seinfeld
"We? Since when are you a writer?"
Seinfeld
"What writer? We're talking about a sitcom."
Seinfeld
"We really got something here."
Seinfeld
"- What idea? - An idea for the show."
Seinfeld
"- I still don't know what the idea is. - It's about nothing."
Seinfeld
"- Right. - Everybody's doing something."
Seinfeld
"We go into NBC, tell them we got an idea for a show about nothing."
Seinfeld
"- Exactly. - What's your show about?"
Seinfeld
"I think you may have something here."
Seinfeld
"So the show would be about my real life..."
Seinfeld
"...and one of the characters would be based on you."
Seinfeld
"No, I don't think so."
Seinfeld
"- What don't you like? - I don't like the idea..."
Seinfeld
"- ... of a character based on me. - Why not?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know. It just doesn't sit well."
Seinfeld
"There's gotta be a character based on you."
Seinfeld
"- That's your problem. - I don't know what the big deal is."
Seinfeld
"- Whatever you want. - I get to play Kramer."
Seinfeld
"But you can't act."
Seinfeld
"- Okay, fine, we'll use Newman. - Newman?"
Seinfeld
"- Use me for what? - Nothing. What do you want?"
Seinfeld
"Well, you'll never guess what happened to me today."
Seinfeld
"I was driving home on the Palisades Parkway..."
Seinfeld
"...when I look in the rearview mirror, and what did I see?"
Seinfeld
"The fuzz. And it's funny..."
Seinfeld
"...because my new radar detector was on, but I didn't hear a thing."
Seinfeld
"- Isn't that strange? - Yeah, that's strange."
Seinfeld
"Because the radar detector, as I understand it, detects radar!"
Seinfeld
"But for some reason, I didn't hear a thing..."
Seinfeld
"...except for the sound of a police siren."
Seinfeld
"Well, that's queer, huh?"
Seinfeld
"You give me back my helmet, and pay for that ticket!"
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah, yeah. You better think again, MoJumbo."
Seinfeld
"You gave me a defective detector."
Seinfeld
"- Jerry? - Buyer beware."
Seinfeld
"Are you gonna give me my helmet?"
Seinfeld
"No, we had a deal. There's no guarantees in life."
Seinfeld
"No, but there's karma, Kramer."
Seinfeld
"Karma Kramer?"
Seinfeld
"And one more thing:"
Seinfeld
"I'm not coming to your party!"
Seinfeld
"Salsa, seltzer."
Seinfeld
"No, not seltzer, salsa."
Seinfeld
"- What's the matter? - Nothing."
Seinfeld
"You sure?"
Seinfeld
"- You look a little pale. - No, I'm fine. I'm good."
Seinfeld
"- What, are you nervous? - No, I'm not nervous. I'm very good."
Seinfeld
"I can't. I've tried. I'm here. It's impossible."
Seinfeld
"- This was your idea. - What idea?"
Seinfeld
"They're just TV executives."
Seinfeld
"They wear suits and ties."
Seinfeld
"- I told you not to come. - I need some water."
Seinfeld
"I gotta get some water."
Seinfeld
"- They'll give us water in there. - Really?"
Seinfeld
"That's pretty good."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, God, it's Joe Davola. - Who?"
Seinfeld
"I think he goes to the same shrink as Elaine."
Seinfeld
"Oh, God, he saw me."
Seinfeld
"- Hello, Jerry. - Hey, Joe!"
Seinfeld
"How you doing?"
Seinfeld
"You're under no obligation to shake my hand."
Seinfeld
"You look good."
Seinfeld
"- What are you doing here? - I dropped a script off."
Seinfeld
"Good for you."
Seinfeld
"Well."
Seinfeld
"- You don't have to say anything. - No..."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, I guess I'll see you Sunday night. - Why?"
Seinfeld
"Kramer's party."
Seinfeld
"- Kramer's having a party? - No. No, he's not having a party."
Seinfeld
"He's doing something. I don't know. It's nothing. He's not doing anything."
Seinfeld
"I thought Kramer and I were very close friends."
Seinfeld
"Give my best to Hinckley."
Seinfeld
"I didn't know Kramer didn't invite him. I gotta call Kramer."
Seinfeld
"They're ready for you."
Seinfeld
"Okay. Okay. Look."
Seinfeld
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