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Clips from Seinfeld - The Slicer (S09E09)

"Hey. I had to draw that guy from memory."
Seinfeld
"But it's not a photograph. I need a photograph."
Seinfeld
"Then you better get a camera."
Seinfeld
"He looks like a Peanuts' character."
Seinfeld
"I know. The only way to fix it now is to get a whole new photo of Kruger."
Seinfeld
"- You could do that. - Without his shirt on?"
Seinfeld
"You can't do that."
Seinfeld
"Well, maybe Kruger wasn't the place for you."
Seinfeld
"What about the Coast Guard?"
Seinfeld
"Seems like a lot of pride there. A lot of tradition."
Seinfeld
"True."
Seinfeld
"You mean for you?"
Seinfeld
"- You think? - What about your sea sickness?"
Seinfeld
"Maybe I could be a land guy."
Seinfeld
"I don't know if they have land guys."
Seinfeld
"- Pliers? - Drawer."
Seinfeld
"- Got it. - What are they for?"
Seinfeld
"I got a piece of my heel stuck in the slicer."
Seinfeld
"- Come again? - Okay. I got a little slicer happy."
Seinfeld
"But don't tell Kramer, okay?"
Seinfeld
"He has very strong feelings for it."
Seinfeld
"I almost forgot to ask you. How did the revenge date go?"
Seinfeld
"Did you dress nice? Did you do it classy?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, I started out real classy."
Seinfeld
"But then I found out about the skin cancer."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, so it backfired? - Yes."
Seinfeld
"So I guess I'm lucky I never tried that myself."
Seinfeld
"Of course she treats skin cancer. That's how I met her."
Seinfeld
"She was doing a skin-cancer screening at Peterman."
Seinfeld
"This is what dermatologists do."
Seinfeld
"Sadly, that knowledge could have helped me."
Seinfeld
"Wait a second. She did a skin-cancer screening at Peterman?"
Seinfeld
"Could she do that at Kruger? I don't know. I guess."
Seinfeld
"So I set up a screening, everyone takes their shirt off..."
Seinfeld
"...and click, I snap me a shot of a bare-chested Kruger."
Seinfeld
"Do you got a little thing for this fella?"
Seinfeld
"Jerry, you gotta talk to Sitarides."
Seinfeld
"Yesterday you told me I had to take my revenge on her."
Seinfeld
"And that was wrong, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"You simply must apologize."
Seinfeld
"- Must I? - Yes."
Seinfeld
"Because it is the mature, adult thing to do."
Seinfeld
"How does that affect me?"
Seinfeld
"Because I gotta slice."
Seinfeld
"I forgot it. I gotta get home."
Seinfeld
"Oh, okay. Well, I'll go with you."
Seinfeld
"I'm not really going straight home."
Seinfeld
"I have to first stop off at the..."
Seinfeld
"...circus."
Seinfeld
"You know, with all the clowns."
Seinfeld
"Oh, no clowns. I don't like clowns."
Seinfeld
"The clowns."
Seinfeld
"So again, I'm sorry. I had no right to yell at you."
Seinfeld
"You're a life-saving doctor and I'm just a comedian."
Seinfeld
"...because I believe in that, but as far as you and I are concerned, it's off."
Seinfeld
"That's the one."
Seinfeld
"- Elaine? - Kramer?"
Seinfeld
"Just hold on."
Seinfeld
"Here. Here you go."
Seinfeld
"My blade is all dinged up. Oh, come on."
Seinfeld
"- Elaine. - Phone call."
Seinfeld
"- I'm on a big phone call. - Oh, come on. This is important."
Seinfeld
"Hey. Get the hell out of here."
Seinfeld
"Wow, that's a lot of potatoes."
Seinfeld
"So, George took my slicer down to Kruger..."
Seinfeld
"...and they're smoothing it out for me."
Seinfeld
"What the hell is this?"
Seinfeld
"Boy, that looks like an allergic reaction."
Seinfeld
"Have you been wearing a fake beard?"
Seinfeld
"- No. - Well, what have you been doing?"
Seinfeld
"Nothing. I got up, I ran some errands..."
Seinfeld
"...went to Sara and apologized-"
Seinfeld
"Well, I tried to apologize. It didn't go over too well."
Seinfeld
"There's your hives."
Seinfeld
"What? She gave me hives?"
Seinfeld
"Jerry, as the Bible says, Thou who cureth can maketh ill."
Seinfeld
"...tell her you're not a test-tube pincushion."
Seinfeld
"It does itch. Maybe I will go down to Kruger and talk to her."
Seinfeld
"All right, great. I gotta go there and pick up my blade."
Seinfeld
"Oh, that's fantastic."
Seinfeld
"I just talked to Mr. Kruger. He'll be down in a minute."
Seinfeld
"He wanted me to take a photograph."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, what brings you here?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know. This?"
Seinfeld
"Looks like hives."
Seinfeld
"Where do you think that came from?"
Seinfeld
"- What're you doing? - Setting the record straight."
Seinfeld
"What brand of perverted science do you practice?"
Seinfeld
"Are you suggesting I somehow infected you on purpose?"
Seinfeld
"You're insane."
Seinfeld
"Am I?"
Seinfeld
"Dr. Sitarides. Don't go."
Seinfeld
"Thanks, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"Hey, George. Hey, doc."
Seinfeld
"We doing screening in here?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, why don't you head on in. We'll be in a second."
Seinfeld
"Be right with you."
Seinfeld
"- Doc? - Oh, Kramer, this is perfect."
Seinfeld
"Go in there, pretend you're a doctor and check this guy for moles."
Seinfeld
"Moles. Yes."
Seinfeld
"Freckle's ugly cousin."
Seinfeld
"You're really cooking up a Ischeme here."
Seinfeld
"All right. Come on, let's get in there. Quick, quick, quick."
Seinfeld
"That is it. I can't take this anymore."
Seinfeld
"Male mammal."
Seinfeld
"Approximately 30 to 60 years of age."
Seinfeld
"Weight, oh, indeterminate."
Seinfeld
"...we'll take a photo for the records..."
Seinfeld
"...so if you'll stand up please."
Seinfeld
"Give me a big smile."
Seinfeld
"Oh, no, no, no. Not that big."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, that's nice. Yes. Okay."
Seinfeld
"Yes, let's have a look-see?"
Seinfeld
"Okay, so..."
Seinfeld
"I'll have to keep my eye on that."
Seinfeld
"Oh, a long, long time."
Seinfeld
"Yes, I've seen moles so big they have their own moles."
Seinfeld
"Freckles that cover two men."
Seinfeld
"- So how am I looking? - Oh, so far, so good."
Seinfeld
"- Kramer, I really owe you. - George, we got a problem."
Seinfeld
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