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Clips from Seinfeld - The Chaperone (S06E06)

"She had such..."
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"- ...grace. - Yes!"
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"- Grace! - Not many people have grace."
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"Well, you know, grace is a tough one."
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"- Not as much as Jackie O, but- - You can't have a little grace."
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"You either have grace or you don't."
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"Okay, fine. I have no grace."
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"And you can't acquire grace."
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"Well, I have no intention of getting grace."
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"All right, look. I don't have grace, I don't want grace..."
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"- Thank you for coming in. - Yeah, yeah, right."
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"We'll make our choice in a few days and we'll let you know."
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"- I have no chance, do I? - No."
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"Justin Pitt to see you."
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"- Justin Pitt? - He was a very close friend..."
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"...of Mrs. Onassis'"
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"Mrs. Onassis' That's hard to pronounce."
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"- Excuse me? - Nothing, nothing."
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"Mrs. Landis, there's something wrong with this copying machine."
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"Now, I don't know if this is your department or not."
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"Charmed."
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"Hello, Karen? Hi, it's Jerry Seinfeld."
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"Oh, that's very sweet of you."
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"You better be careful. You don't wanna get too congenial."
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"They'll slap that Miss Congeniality on you..."
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"So, what time you wanna get together later?"
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"What?"
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"So what? We don't need the chaperone."
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"Her chaperone can't make it."
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"Oh, you're not gonna get disqualified."
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"So we're not going?"
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"Come on. Hold on one second."
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"I'm going out with a Miss America contestant. You wanna go?"
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"What state?"
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"Rhode Island."
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"How do you know?"
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"Because I've seen every Miss America pageant since I was 6."
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"Do you wanna go or not? I'll buy you dinner."
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"- Giddyup. - I think I got someone."
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"The resemblance is uncanny."
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"Even the brown eyes."
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"Well, a lot of people have brown eyes."
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"No, there's something else. An indefinable quality."
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"You think I have grace?"
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"- Some grace, yes. - Just some?"
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"Well, you don't want too much grace, or you won't be able to stand."
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"Elaine, I want you to come and work for me as my personal assistant."
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"Now, I'll pay you the same as Pendant..."
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"...but I would need you to start right away."
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"Sure, George."
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"How's everything going? Everything okay?"
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"Listen, Buck, obviously I don't need to talk to you..."
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"...about the importance of player morale."
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"But I've been talking to some of the guys..."
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"...I don't wanna mention any names, but some of them aren't too happy..."
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"- How so? - They get very hot in the polyester."
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"I think they would prefer cotton."
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"See, it's much softer."
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"Imagine playing games..."
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"...and your team is 5 degrees cooler than the other team."
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"Don't you think that would be an advantage?"
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"They're cooler, they're more comfortable, they're happier..."
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"Cotton uniforms."
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"Congratulations."
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"Yeah. And the best part is I still get to look for work in publishing."
Seinfeld
"- Now, what is it that you do, exactly? - I attend to his personal affairs."
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"Like what?"
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"Well, like tomorrow, for example, I..."
Seinfeld
"- I have to buy him some socks. - Really?"
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"- Socks. - Yeah."
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"White ones. The ones you wear with sneakers."
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"Maybe you could pick me up some underwear."
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"So, what do you think? Does this work?"
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"...you make like you got something else to do..."
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"...and recede into the night, if you know what I mean."
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"No way."
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"- What? - If you think I'm gonna step aside..."
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"...while you defile this woman, you're crazy."
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"I'm not going to defile her."
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"Right, because I'm gonna see it doesn't happen."
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"These girls are Miss America contestants."
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"It's every little girl's dream."
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"I'm not gonna let you trample that dream..."
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"...and make a mockery of everything the pageant stands for."
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"No buts."
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"- Those are my rules. - Wait a minute."
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"If you wanna have some good, wholesome fun with a nice girl..."
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"...I'll help you out. If you're looking for something more..."
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"- ...you got the wrong guy, buddy. - It's just-"
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"If you were Miss America..."
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"If every person sacrificed one meal a week..."
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"...there would be enough to feed the whole world."
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"That's a hell of a plan. Listen-"
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"What advice would you give young people?"
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"All right, Kramer."
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"This is important. She's gotta be able to answer these questions."
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"She's not gonna have time to think with millions of people watching her."
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"- You really know a lot about this. - Yeah, like last year..."
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"...Miss Texas should have won easily."
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"- What could she have done? - Tape her breasts together."
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"- What else? - All right, take you for example."
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"Now, you're very attractive, but you got a big waist."
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"- Hey, come on! - No, no, no, it's okay."
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"- Go on. - Well..."
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"- Really? - Oh, yeah. Just... suck you in."
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"All right. I'll be right back."
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"- So, what's your talent? - Magic."
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"I'm thinking of a number from one to 10."
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"Six."
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"No, five."
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"But you were close."
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"And the Yankees take the field."
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"Is it my imagination or the Yankees look a little different tonight?"
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"- I can't put my finger on it. - From what I understand..."
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"...they switched to cotton uniforms."
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"Well, they say it's softer."
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"Well, it is a natural fiber."
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"How's your eveningwear?"
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"- Well, I'm wearing this red- - Stop right there."
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"- No good? - Disaster."
Seinfeld
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