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Clips from Seinfeld - The Chaperone (S06E06)

"- Why? - Well, you got brown eyes."
Seinfeld
"- You wanna wear a green dress. - That makes sense."
Seinfeld
"Well, here we are."
Seinfeld
"Okay. But if I'm gonna do this..."
Seinfeld
"...we play by my rules or we don't play at all."
Seinfeld
"I am in your hands."
Seinfeld
"Well..."
Seinfeld
"Oh, shut the **** up."
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Well, if it isn't Mr. Blackwell."
Seinfeld
"Oh, come on."
Seinfeld
"And that waist cincher, that was the topper."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, you're pooh-poohing? - Yes, I pooh-pooh."
Seinfeld
"Well, let me tell you something."
Seinfeld
"I'm taking this kid to the top. To the top, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"We're going for the crown, and you can't stop her."
Seinfeld
"- I don't wanna stop her. - You can't stop her, Jerry!"
Seinfeld
"Oh, I've seen them come and go, but this kid has got something."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, so do you."
Seinfeld
"The uniforms! Did you see how they played?"
Seinfeld
"Listen to these comments. Wade Boggs, 'What a fabric."
Seinfeld
"Finally, we can breathe. '"
Seinfeld
"Luis Polonia, 'Cotton is king. '"
Seinfeld
"Paul O'Neill, 'I never dreamed anything could be so soft and fluffy. '"
Seinfeld
"- Boy, they really sound comfortable. - Hey, where you going?"
Seinfeld
"- I'm working Atlantic City. - Really?"
Seinfeld
"Hey, you're not working. Why don't you come down."
Seinfeld
"Atlantic City?"
Seinfeld
"I will go to Atlantic City. I'm in. I'm down."
Seinfeld
"Maybe Elaine wants to go too. Let me call her."
Seinfeld
"She's at Mr. Pitt's. I think I got the number."
Seinfeld
"So, what do you think?"
Seinfeld
"- No. - What-?"
Seinfeld
"- You don't like them? - No, I don't like them."
Seinfeld
"- What's wrong? - They're too tight."
Seinfeld
"- Too tight? - There's no elastic."
Seinfeld
"You need to pull too much."
Seinfeld
"They're cutting off the circulation."
Seinfeld
"- Hello? - Hi, Mr. Pitt. Is Elaine there?"
Seinfeld
"It's for you."
Seinfeld
"Sorry."
Seinfeld
"- Jerry. - Yeah. We're going to Atlantic City."
Seinfeld
"One second, one second. Hang on, hang on."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me, Mr. Pitt. Would it be all right if I got the socks tomorrow?"
Seinfeld
"I was hoping for my new socks today."
Seinfeld
"I can't go."
Seinfeld
"- Why not? - Because I have to return the socks..."
Seinfeld
"- ...and get different ones. - Elaine!"
Seinfeld
"I gotta go."
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"Turn. Back."
Seinfeld
"Head up. Shoulders back."
Seinfeld
"- Posture. See? Posture. - Yes, I see. Okay."
Seinfeld
"All right, let's try a few more questions. All right?"
Seinfeld
"If you were Miss America and the U.S. was on the brink..."
Seinfeld
"...of a nuclear war and the only way the conflict could be averted..."
Seinfeld
"...was if you agreed to sleep with the enemy's leader..."
Seinfeld
"Yes, they're important!"
Seinfeld
"If you stumble, if you hesitate, you can kiss the crown goodbye."
Seinfeld
"Now, if I told you once, I've told you a thousand times, poise counts!"
Seinfeld
"It's just as important as the others."
Seinfeld
"Swimsuit, eveningwear, talent, poise!"
Seinfeld
"I won 50 bucks. This is great. Too bad Elaine's not here."
Seinfeld
"- It's good, but- - But what?"
Seinfeld
"- Ultimately, I don't think they'll stay up. - No. No, they'll stay up."
Seinfeld
"For a while, yes, but not in the long run."
Seinfeld
"But that's why I got you the tighter ones."
Seinfeld
"- Why do you keep mentioning those? - What do you want?"
Seinfeld
"I want a decent sock that's comfortable..."
Seinfeld
"...that will stay on my foot!"
Seinfeld
"- Well, I can't sleep with that noise. - Me either."
Seinfeld
"Is there anything you can do to shut them up?"
Seinfeld
"This will scare them off."
Seinfeld
"- Well, good night, Ollie. - Good night, Stan."
Seinfeld
"- What is it? - My doves. They're dead."
Seinfeld
"I trained those birds for eight years."
Seinfeld
"How am I supposed to do my magic act now?"
Seinfeld
"- How did this happen? - They like it outside..."
Seinfeld
"...then I found them dead in a pool of water."
Seinfeld
"- But how did this happen? - It must have been an accident."
Seinfeld
"This was no accident."
Seinfeld
"These doves were murdered."
Seinfeld
"Well, that's it. She's out of the pageant."
Seinfeld
"- What? Why? What happened? - Her birds are dead."
Seinfeld
"- Birds? - Yeah, birds."
Seinfeld
"Somebody wanted her out of that contest bad."
Seinfeld
"Somebody who was just eaten up with jealousy."
Seinfeld
"Somebody who couldn't stand to have the spotlight taken off of them."
Seinfeld
"What are you looking at?"
Seinfeld
"We had to leave that outside last night..."
Seinfeld
"- You killed them. - No. You don't understand."
Seinfeld
"Don't think that you've won, because you haven't. This kid is a fighter."
Seinfeld
"And if you think I'm gonna let a couple of dead birds get in our way..."
Seinfeld
"- ...you're crazy! - Kramer, you gotta-"
Seinfeld
"Oh, it was just Kramer. Apparently I killed Miss Rhode Island's doves..."
Seinfeld
"...with the bucket of water last night."
Seinfeld
"Ladies and gentlemen, that was Miss Texas."
Seinfeld
"Wasn't she wonderful?"
Seinfeld
"- Okay, this is it. - How you feeling?"
Seinfeld
"- I'm a little nervous. - There's nothing to be nervous about."
Seinfeld
"But I've never sung before in my life."
Seinfeld
"...Miss Rhode Island."
Seinfeld
"I heard those doves were really incredible."
Seinfeld
"That's a shame."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, hey. Yankee game. - Oh, great. All right."
Seinfeld
"And the Yankees take the field."
Seinfeld
"What is with the Yankees? They look like they're having trouble running."
Seinfeld
"- They can't move. - It's their uniforms. They're too tight."
Seinfeld
"They've shrunk. They're running like penguins. Forget this game."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God, Mattingly just split his pants."
Seinfeld
"That's a shame."
Seinfeld
"Poise. Poise."
Seinfeld
"The Miss America pageant seems like a really tough contest."
Seinfeld
"They got that sanitized-for-your-protection..."
Seinfeld
"...toilet-seat thing hanging off them, you know?"
Seinfeld
"Plus, they gotta wear all the other outfits. I don't know why."
Seinfeld
"The bathing suit is the contest."
Seinfeld
"You win the bathing suit, you win."
Seinfeld
"That's why we have weddings in it."
Seinfeld
"If we had weddings in bathing suits..."
Seinfeld
"...a lot of ceremonies wouldn't get past:"
Seinfeld
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