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Clips from Scrubs - My Quarantine (S04E04)

"They sensed my first date wasn't going perfectly."
Scrubs
"Though I could smell face cake in the air, it was about to get worse."
Scrubs
"Get out! Get out before she sprays her toxic stink over your new relationship."
Scrubs
"Danni, love to stay and talk, but I'm giving Kylie here a tour of the ICU."
Scrubs
"You were going to take me back to the underpass!"
Scrubs
"After the tour! What is it with you and the underpass?"
Scrubs
"I spent the day with her. She stole a sweater."
Scrubs
"I've had nothing all day except vodka and olives."
Scrubs
"Unfreeze, J.D., it's over."
Scrubs
"So... what's wrong with this guy?"
Scrubs
"And then I said something stupid."
Scrubs
"What have you done, Newbie?"
Scrubs
"Quarantinis, anyone?"
Scrubs
"Mr Donaldson hasn't been to Hong Kong in 20 years,"
Scrubs
"so I bet my one remaining testicle no one has SARS."
Scrubs
"Unfortunately, by hospital policy, we have to stay locked down"
Scrubs
"until the labs come back, and that will take several hours."
Scrubs
"Kylie, angry mob. Angry mob, Kylie."
Scrubs
"SARS sucks."
Scrubs
"- Hi. - Hi."
Scrubs
"Otherwise, bear in mind that we are short-handed."
Scrubs
"- There are only four doctors here. - I counted more than that."
Scrubs
"Johnson is a dermatologist, Greek for "fake doctor","
Scrubs
"There's only two of us."
Scrubs
"I don't know. I think it's kind of exciting,"
Scrubs
"being in a hospital, getting to see you in action."
Scrubs
"- Lonnie, shirt. - No!"
Scrubs
"Don't make me say pants. I'll do it."
Scrubs
"Still tanning, I see."
Scrubs
"- It looks like she's having fun. - It's a front. She's miserable."
Scrubs
"The highlight was putting a possum to sleep. That's not a euphemism."
Scrubs
"J.D., seeing a young doctor do his job is an amazing turn-on for a girl."
Scrubs
"My dad's a doctor."
Scrubs
"I didn't want to sleep with him, but there were some complicated feelings."
Scrubs
"But that's totally normal for an 11 -year-old, right?"
Scrubs
"- So, what first, doctor? - Well, you need a chart."
Scrubs
"Lonnie, chart!"
Scrubs
"You look ridiculous."
Scrubs
"Hey, Danni, what's shaking?"
Scrubs
"Turk and Carla's wedding, we made out."
Scrubs
"- So did we. - Was it at the same time?"
Scrubs
"Leaving. Good show, fellows."
Scrubs
"Smooth manoeuvre, Hoover. You scared her off."
Scrubs
"I'm bored. I'm a surgeon, and there's no surgery."
Scrubs
"- Turk, any idiot can be a nurse. - I know. I just think..."
Scrubs
"You tricked me."
Scrubs
"is treating them on an empty stomach. I'm famished."
Scrubs
"- We've been here for eight minutes. - I haven't eaten today."
Scrubs
"It was gonna be me, a 24-ounce porterhouse, and lots of blood thinners."
Scrubs
"Five bucks says you can't do that twice."
Scrubs
"You're on."
Scrubs
"So how's it going with Kylie?"
Scrubs
"So, Nurse Ghandirilla, I need you to suction this guy,"
Scrubs
"with a special sponge bath, happy ending optional. His choice, not yours."
Scrubs
"- Hi! - Oh, good! You're here."
Scrubs
"Since we're amigos now, could you do me a solid?"
Scrubs
"so could you go ahead and keep an eye on him for me?"
Scrubs
"You can't smoke in here."
Scrubs
"So how much does he owe me, Barbarino?"
Scrubs
"Damn it, man. You cannot afford this. Stop."
Scrubs
"Stop."
Scrubs
"You're not getting this one yet, Lord!"
Scrubs
"- Could you make your face a bit redder? - I want more money."
Scrubs
"Elliot, I need another doctor here, stat!"
Scrubs
"- Give me $30. - I gave you 20. I'm tapped!"
Scrubs
"Ask Johnson. He's loaded."
Scrubs
"What do you need? Is it a rash?"
Scrubs
"You have a trust fund! Now give me the money!"
Scrubs
"All he did the whole time was shoot me in the face."
Scrubs
"First dates, huh? Somebody give me 700 bucks."
Scrubs
"I went out with a girl. She was the worst first date."
Scrubs
"The worst one I had was with a guy who took me to a dumpy pizza parlour, right?"
Scrubs
"You know what? Really don't want to hear about this one. OK!"
Scrubs
"She didn't like the pizza I ordered because it had anchovies. Believe that?"
Scrubs
"- It had anchovies. - And pineapples."
Scrubs
"I heard the pain in my best friend's voice, and felt how little I cared."
Scrubs
"Genuine."
Scrubs
"She would have said sexy if I had a moustache."
Scrubs
"It's just nice to be with a guy I can trust."
Scrubs
"Cool."
Scrubs
"I don't deserve this."
Scrubs
"So you just tell her the truth, she's mad for a while, then forgives you."
Scrubs
"I see what you're saying. There's no downside. Kylie..."
Scrubs
"- And you lied to me. - No!"
Scrubs
"- I'm standing in a nightmare. - Maybe I'm guilty of a lie of omission."
Scrubs
"- Fine. - Thank you."
Scrubs
"Carla, I like your hair that way."
Scrubs
"Laverne..."
Scrubs
"- I'm Glenn. - I'm Glenn!"
Scrubs
"Look, let's not go down that road again. Come on."
Scrubs
"OK, it's time to come clean."
Scrubs
"I brought you here because I want to tell you..."
Scrubs
"I would never sleep with her."
Scrubs
"Excuse me."
Scrubs
"- For what? - I'm putting DSL in my box."
Scrubs
"Give him a break! What if Jordan had a history with somebody?"
Scrubs
"Oh, fair enough. Hey, everyone,"
Scrubs
"in the brief 18 months that Jordan and I weren't together,"
Scrubs
"how many of you had your way with her?"
Scrubs
"Anyway, whoever taught Jordan that reverse cowgirl position..."
Scrubs
"$ 700."
Scrubs
"Wow, he is really out."
Scrubs
"A mild sedative fell into his juice box."
Scrubs
"J.D., I know why you're lying about everything."
Scrubs
"even though you're this funny, weird, amazing guy."
Scrubs
"I mean, that's why I fell in love with you,"
Scrubs
"Thanks, Elliot. Really."
Scrubs
"But that's a load of crap. Nobody is themselves when they start dating."
Scrubs
"Dating is acting like somebody you're not"
Scrubs
"- No, it's not. - What do you call that bra"
Scrubs
"- you wore for your date? - The miracle lift super push-up bra."
Scrubs
"Not everyone's as insecure as me."
Scrubs
"I just gotta make it through tonight."
Scrubs
"Maybe because she's really in love with me,"
Scrubs
"and we injected you with diabetes to very slowly get you out of the picture."
Scrubs
"Or maybe, and this is a huge outside maybe,"
Scrubs
"maybe she knows you're the kind of person who freaks out"
Scrubs
"over irrelevant things from the past."
Scrubs
"The lab results are back, and there is no SARS."
Scrubs
"You are going to pay every cent of that $ 700."
Scrubs
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