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Clips from The Simpsons - The Great Money Caper (S12E12)

"That cake was for your deaf sister!"
The Simpsons
"- Sir, it was my fault. - No, no. Don't protect him."
The Simpsons
"You'll work off that cake in the acid mines!"
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"No! No, no! I'll pay for the cake."
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"Well, you're the mark... of integrity."
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"Wow! Look at all this loot! What should we buy first?"
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"There you are. How was the magic act?"
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"What in the hell are you talking about?"
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"The magic was great! It's really the way to go."
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"How'd you do your act? You left your magic kit here."
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"Or so it would seem."
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"Suckers."
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"I don't know, Mom. I think they're up to something."
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"But at least Bart and Homer are spending quality time together."
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"Oh, this? Hmm. I think it is."
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"Here, boy! Here, doggie!"
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"- Oh, where has my little dog gone? - Oh, you lost your doggie?"
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"Yeah. I saw him playing in the water, and then he was gone."
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"He had a bright red leash with bells on it."
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"Oh, I'm sure he's around here somewhere."
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"Oh, dear Lord."
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"He's the bestest dog ever. He's light brown and he has a spot on him shaped like a heart."
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"- Sorry, son. But- - I just gotta get him back!"
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"Or if not him, a similar dog."
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"Dog for sale!"
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"Dog for sale!"
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"- Oh, well. - Although, if the right offer came along-"
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"Here's for the repairs and a little extra for you."
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"Hey. Thanks, chief."
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"Oy! I'll never be a man."
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"Uhh."
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"- Dad? - Yeah, Son?"
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"Why are we still grifting? The car's paid for. Doesn't that balance out the universe?"
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"Like my bike that was stolen in third grade."
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"- Plus the baldness. - Okay. I'm sold."
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"Hello. Is the lady of the house in?"
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"Oh, no! Homer, remember? Maudie got called up to heaven."
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"- Oh. Of course. Of course. It's just that- - What?"
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"Well, before she died, she ordered this Bible especially for you."
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"Why, there's my name, in gold."
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"Now you weren't home, so we had to pay the delivery man."
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"Well, I'll just reimburse you right-"
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"Wait a minute. This seems an awful lot like that movie Paper Moon."
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"- Run, Dad! - Okay!"
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"- We'll be safe in here. - That was too close."
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"- Maybe it's time to quit the game. - Amateurs!"
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"- Huh? - Dad?"
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"That's right."
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"- You don't smoke a pipe. - That's right."
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"- How'd you get wise to us? - Are you kiddin'?"
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"They used to call me Grifty McGrift."
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"I wrote the book on flimflammin'."
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"Wow! He did!"
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"Yeah. In the Depression, you had to grift. Either that or work."
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"- So what's the pitch, old man? - Team up with me, boys..."
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"and we'll go for the biggest honey pot of'em all!"
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"Oh, my God!"
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"I don't know. Fleecin' old people?"
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"Oh, why not? If we don't take their money, they'll just give it to some televangelist."
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"Let's dust a few fossils."
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"Now this scam was in The Sting, Part Two, so nobody knows about it."
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"Now as I recall, Jackie Gleason-"
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"- Which one of you youngsters is Abe Simpson? - I'm Abe Simpson."
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"- What? - Everybody, come quick! Abe Simpson is rich!"
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"I can't believe it!"
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"I can finally afford a young, crazy, stripper wife."
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"Yeah. I'm gonna get me the craziest, "strippiest"-"
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"He's dead."
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"I guess we'll just have to haul the check back to headquarters."
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"Too bad we couldn't just give it to these nice folks."
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"Forget it, Ed. Do you know what it costs to sign over a check this big?"
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"You're right. We better just take this check back for shredding."
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"No, wait. We got a hundred bucks each. Hang on."
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"Thank you. No shoving."
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"That's right. Put your money in here. All of it. Is that everyone?"
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"What's your problem, sport? Afraid to be rich?"
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"F.B.I. You're under arrest for fraud."
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"Mm-hmm."
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"Now, where's the inside man?"
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"Call me mint jelly, 'cause I'm on the lam! Ahh!"
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"So we're under arrest for fraud?"
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"Yes, fraud."
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"Well, this is about the flashiest car I've ever impounded."
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"Please, F.B.I. Man, don't throw us in jail. We just made one mistake."
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"Mmm. Okay, tell you what."
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"I'll let you turn yourselves in. Maybe they'll go easier on you."
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"- You'd do that for us? - Well, I did ruin the boy's birthday cake."
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"Go on in. But I'll be watching!"
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"Okay. Thank you, sir."
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"Don't worry, Son. I have an idea."
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"Chief, I'd like to scare my son straight."
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"Could I show him a jail cell?"
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"Okay, we're all locked up now."
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"Yeah. You big idiot."
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"- Excellent. I guess I'll just be swiping your car now. - What?"
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"Oh, and this lovely bag of cash."
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"- That's not an F.B.I. Badge. - "Colgate Cavity Patrol"? Ohh!"
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"- That guy was a grifter. - Yeah. He conned us good."
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"Well, at least we still have our jobs at the sweepstakes place."
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"- Ohh! - What?"
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"Mom's gonna wonder where the car went."
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"- We better have a good story. - Well, lies got us into this mess, Son."
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"From now on, it's honesty all the way."
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"Absolutely. We had stopped in for a quick prayer when- Bart, would you call him a crazy man?"
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"Definitely. Well, crazy about carjacking."
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"- What did he look like? - Uh, mmm, let's see."
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"He was foreign, and he had-"
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"Uh, well, he seemed like a loner. Kept to himself mostly."
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"And he said if we went to the cops, he'd come back for Maggie."
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"Oh, dear! We don't want that!"
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"Anyhoo, the whole nightmare's really made us sleepy."
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"Homie! Homie, wake up!"
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"- They've captured your crazed foreign carjacker! - Huh?"
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"- But that's impossible. - They're arresting him right now."
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"At least, let me comb me hair. It's all wild and bushy."
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"What do you care, Loner."
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"Well, look at that. But who called the police?"
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"Hmm. She hasn't touched her Manwich."
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"You cannot do this to Willie!"
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"I'm innocent, I tell ya!"
The Simpsons
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