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Clips from The Simpsons - The Great Money Caper (S12E12)

"And for the lady, a Long Island Iced Tea."
The Simpsons
"Mmm."
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"You talk too much. Abraca-blab-ra. Am I right?"
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"I'm right here!"
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"No! No! Get off of me!"
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"Huh. That's me! Dad, will you get me this magic kit?"
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"- Yah-huh. - Nuh-huh."
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"- Yah-huh. - Would you cut it out, you two?"
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"Mommy needs some quiet right now."
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"But where did it come from?"
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"You're in our spot."
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"Well, I showed up for all your stupid interventions!"
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"Oh, that's it! You can walk home!"
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"- Ohh. - Poor boy. Here's some money for bus fare."
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"- Yeah. I know a little place. - Who gave you all this money?"
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"There you go! We'd be stealing from people we know."
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"It's just like the seasons."
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"Sounds good. You want to eat my fat?"
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"This book has all the classic cons."
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"There's the Pigeon Drop, the Ear Wigger, the Brillstein grab-"
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"Oh, wait. Here we go."
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"Would you?"
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"- 10-4, kemosabe. - Ohh."
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"- It's all right, isn't it? - Uh-"
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"A singing rubber fish, of course."
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"Oh, it sure looks that way."
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"Is that a Long Island Iced Tea?"
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"Mmm. You're a pretty girl."
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"- How much for the dog? - Oh, he's not for sale."
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"In a way. But I also remembered some other stuff."
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"You've just won $10 million from that publisher's "cleary-dealie"!"
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"Oh, this is terrible. Now who do we give the money to?"
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"Why, the wealth transfer fee would run at least a hundred dollars a head."
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"Mmm?"
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"Thanks. Whew! It took a lot of grifting. Ooh!"
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"Yeah. We're not criminals. We're just two crazy, mixed-up kids."
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"Oh, sure. I'll put you in the RickJames suite. It's super freaky."
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"So long, suckers! Woo-hoo!"
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"You were carjacked in the church parking lot?"
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"- Wild, bushy hair, like an animal. - Anything else?"
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"Let's hit the hay."
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"- I did not do it, I tell ya! - Uh-oh."
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"- We did. - After we got Maggie to a safe house, of course."
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"They always say they're innocent. It's such a turnoff."
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"Dad, Willie got arrested 'cause of us!"
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"- Hey, watch it! - I look like cable TV."
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"Squibs."
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"Devon Bradley. Character actor, dancer, singer. I'm a triple threat!"
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"But there's a simple and highly satisfying explanation. You see-"
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"Hey!"
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"#The Simpsons #"
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"I'm receiving a drink order. Something foamy. Is it a "B"-"
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"Wow."
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"Oh, they oughta call that a"Large" Island Iced Tea."
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"Well, maybe a sip. I don't want to offend our mentalist."
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"If she doesn't like it, I'll just die!"
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"Mmm!"
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"Mom, you're missing a great show."
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"You don't know what I'm missin'."
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"Now for my next illusion, I'll need a volunteer."
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"I'll do it! I always end up doing it."
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"- Hi. - I'm Diablo. What's your name?"
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"- Marge. - Okay, Marge. And who's that gentleman you're with?"
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"- Now, Marge, I have a problem. - Oh, yeah?"
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"- Oh. - So what I need of you is-"
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"There we go. And we'll skip right ahead to the Kill-O-Tine."
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"So she was made of chimps."
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"Man, magic can do anything!"
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"What happened to Mom?"
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"Folks, this is not part of the act. Please help her."
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"Cool gift shop. "Ages eight to 80.""
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"Gee, I wish I could, Son. But we already left the gift shop."
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"Wow. It's approved by the Royal Magic College of Hyderabad."
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"- That's a party magic college. - It is not."
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"What the hell is that?"
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"It looks like a sturgeon."
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"I know that. How much to fix it?"
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"Oh. Well, that's a foreign fish we're looking at."
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"So, uh, 6,500."
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"- Plus 350. - Oh, I can't afford that."
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"Maybe I can make some money, Dad. The magic act is really coming along."
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"He couldn't breathe."
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"Step right up! See the magic boy!"
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"Witness mystifying feats that will leave you scratching your head..."
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"until it's raw and bloody!"
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"Come on. Pony up, Flanders. The kid's not turning tricks for nothin'."
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"- Oh, no. I could never support the black arts. - Black arts?"
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"Yeah, you know: Magic, fortune telling, Oriental cooking."
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"What? Oh, okay, we'll move. We don't want any trouble, fellas."
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"Dad, only one of them is real."
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"- I know, but which one? - Ohh."
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"Sixty cents? I would have made more if I had gone into work today!"
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"A good son would come through for his dad."
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"Yeah. And a good dad wouldn't miss his son's little league games."
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"I told you! Lfind them boring!"
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"Dad, come back! Ohh."
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"I can't walk home with all this stuff."
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"- My father was a monster too. - Hmm."
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"Come on, brothers. Dig deep."
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"Stupid non-magical son can't pay to fix my car."
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"- Hey, Homer! Check it out! - What the-"
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"Is that a steak?"
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"Really?"
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"Hey, maybe we could do that again."
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"Can you look even more pathetic?"
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"Oh, that's beautiful! We could make a fortune!"
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"But wouldn't that make us con artists?"
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"Well, yeah."
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"But God conned me out of 6,500 bucks in car repairs."
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"So, in a way, we'd just be balancing out the universe."
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"I think you know the answer to that."
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"Do they have any father-and-son grifts?"
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"- Well, there's the Albany Ham Scam. - Interesting."
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"I could ask you the very same question."
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"Uh, should I just back out of the room?"
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"You bet. Let's trim the mark."
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"Nice use of the lingo, Homer."
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"Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow."
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"What happened? Where's my cake?"
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"What have you done, you clumsy little ox?"
The Simpsons
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