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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Car Salesman (S02E02)

"We could get some wood grain. What's so hard about getting wood grain?"
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"Could you please excuse us for a minute? I'm talking to somebody."
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"- This is a practical joke, right? - A practical joke? I'm sorry."
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"You're with a customer, selling cars..."
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"What did you just say?"
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"- You cost me a customer. - I cost you..."
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"- I had him! - How can you have a customer?"
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"- I'm doing business here! - I came from Jeff's office."
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"But I'm here because you told him I'm high maintenance?"
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"He's my manager. What if he goes to a studio, to the Palm or Spago..."
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"tells people, "I love Richard but he's high maintenance"?"
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"And what if he does?"
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"and now they can think I'm a fucking, you know, sex maniac or drinking again."
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"No, you won't get the remake of From Here To Eternity."
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"- It's not a dark secret. - Larry David selling cars is not a secret?"
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"- What, you don't believe me? - Would you mind if I check the label?"
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"- I don't like people touching me. - I won't touch you."
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"- Happy? - Christ."
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"- I had that sale. - I'm happy for you, Larry."
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"I locked him up and I wish you could have heard it. It was beautiful."
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"Leave."
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"- What are you doing home so early? - I got fired."
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"- You did? - I got the boot!"
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"He's checking for the house sound."
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"I don't hear it during the day. Can you come back tonight?"
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"- Great. - Yeah, if it's trouble..."
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"Why don't we discuss this and we will let you know, okay?"
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"Okay."
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"I think I'm going to call Jason Alexander tomorrow."
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"Why not? Look at you, back in the saddle."
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"- Who told you that? - Who told me that? It's common knowledge."
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"I asked you to be ready when I got back."
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"Have you even moved since I left this morning?"
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"Yes, of course, what are you talking about?"
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"Come on, that's funny."
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"It might have been funny a week ago, but enough is enough."
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"Maury."
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"You know, listen..."
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"So, you need to get dressed so we can go look at that house."
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"No, you need to get dressed now."
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"No, because they're gonna go to boot camp..."
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"and I want to see which ones get rehabilitated."
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"- Please get up. - They break them down and they cry."
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"they're all better."
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"is this what you'll do for the rest of your life..."
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"- When? - I don't know!"
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"You're in the prime of your life!"
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"I'm gonna work when something comes up that I want to do."
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"I would really like for you to get dressed so we can go look at this house."
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"Look at that girl come out, look."
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""Come on, yeah, come on, yeah, fuck you!"
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""No, fuck you!""
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"It's big."
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"- It's really big. I think it's a little too big. - No."
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"This is like for the Osmonds, this place."
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"I didn't know why we had to sell the old place."
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"- Just 'cause of the wire? - It was making me crazy."
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"That's not a reason to move."
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"That is a reason to move, when you can't get rid of it."
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"There's the real estate agent."
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"You get the room service, the wake-up calls."
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"- Naps. - My God."
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"Hello, isn't this beautiful?"
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"- Yes, we were just... - It's awfully big."
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"It's very exciting, you're gonna love it."
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"- So, here's the scoop. - Okay."
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"If you like it, we'll go back and write an offer."
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"So, that is the absolute best."
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"- Yeah? - Yeah."
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"You could maybe be in here in days."
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"What, days?"
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"They bought another house. So they are so ready to move."
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"- Hello, hi, Susan. - Hi, how are you?"
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"- Good, how are you? - Barbara Schneider, Cheryl and Larry David."
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"Hi. Nice to meet you."
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"My gosh, is that the ocean?"
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"- This is gorgeous. - Yeah, it's very nice. Look at this."
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"- Very spacious. - Beautiful."
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"What about this furniture, it's fantastic, isn't it?"
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"Yeah, it fits perfectly in this room."
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"Beautiful. Beautiful house."
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"- Really beautiful. - Thank you, and this is our amazing view."
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"I love the sea."
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"My father was an Italian fisherman."
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"Can you shoot the whales from the terrace?"
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"- What? - 'Cause I like to have blubber for breakfast."
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"- Don't pay attention to him. - No, pay attention."
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"- Okay. - Are these the new suckers?"
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"Larry David, Jay Schneider."
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"I'd call you when you were at Seinfeld. I was working at the William Morris Agency."
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"I would call him up and pitch my clients. How you doing? Jay Schneider."
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"Hi, I'm Cheryl."
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"You won't believe this, I just signed Jason Alexander."
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"- You're kidding, really? - We're two months into it."
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"He's phenomenal, I'm a lucky guy."
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"- A tremendous actor. - Unbelievable."
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"Honestly, he's kind of struggling right now."
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"You know what, he's nothing like George."
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"He's the antithesis, 'cause Jason is brilliant..."
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"and George is an idiot, just an imbecile and, you know..."
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"It's just tough to branch out with that."
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"I mean, the range of characters this guy can do."
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"- What have you been up to? - Nothing."
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"Yeah, I bet."
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"You got any ideas? Anything coming down the pike?"
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"I say we team up you and Jason again. Let's get you guys in a meeting."
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"You should call him."
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"You're not doing anything, let's take a meeting."
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"- I think it's a good idea. - Don't want to push."
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"- Really? - It's not for sale."
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"- 100%. - It's nice, yeah."
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"- Let's go see the rest of the place. - Yeah, let's see the rest of it."
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"I love it. I really think it's perfect."
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"Larry, did you love it?"
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"- I liked it. - You think it's perfect?"
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"- All right, that's all I needed. - The master bedroom?"
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"I love the master bedroom, the downstairs, the fireplace."
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"Did you notice that when I asked him about the sweater..."
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"There's no way that sweater's 100% cashmere."
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"Wait a second, do you trust this guy..."
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