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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Car Salesman (S02E02)

"Here's Amber, everybody, Amber, come on out."
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"Larry?"
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"I got up to tip room service."
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"No, it's not funny."
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"Every time I walk in, you're just sitting here..."
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"with your chips and your cookies and watching..."
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"we've got to meet that woman in a few minutes."
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"Let me just finish."
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"And then when they're done with the boot camp..."
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"Have you just retired..."
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"and you're never going to work again?"
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"Of course I'm gonna work again!"
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"- Fine. - Fine, thank you."
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"All right, here's Brittany, Brittany, come on out."
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""That's right, yeah, come on!"
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"Look at the size of this place."
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"- It's perfect. - Perfect?"
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"I don't know why we had to leave the hotel. I love the hotel."
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"- Hello. - Hi."
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"And I asked them about the cash. They were totally open to a cash offer."
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"- Hi, Larry. - Hi."
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"You get used to that in two days."
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"We have vaulted ceilings."
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"Breakfast every morning, sunrise."
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"- Really? - Yeah, from the old country."
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"This morning, you'll love this: I saw a whale breach."
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"I've never seen that here before, it's very rare."
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"Nice to meet you."
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"Yeah, how's he doing?"
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"- Is that right? - Everybody wants George Costanza."
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"He's nothing at all like..."
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"But every sitcom needs that."
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"Yeah, you're not doing anything."
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"Let's sit down and just kick around, just kick around some ideas."
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"- Nice sweater. - Thank you, it's cashmere."
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"I really like it, it's a nice house. It's big, but I like it."
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"Let me ask you something."
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"he said it was 100% cashmere?"
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"It's, like, maybe 35, 40, 50 at the most, but 100?"
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"You feel comfortable with that?"
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"You know, fake cashmere and all..."
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"I just don't want to go back and do TV."
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"I'm married, that's plenty of work."
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"Just, you know, I think for your own good, for your own sanity."
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"- Really. - Yeah."
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"- Sure. - No, really honest with me."
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"I'm gonna sign him, you like that."
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"Good."
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"Hey, Tom!"
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"- He's a bigwig? - Yeah, he manages."
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"That's good, I'm managed by a bigwig."
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"You're happy with the Prius?"
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"Very happy, and the Prius is extremely happy with me."
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"Let me ask you a question."
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"'Cause believe me, I could talk anybody into anything."
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"Except women into sex, that's one thing I can't do."
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"We're an honest pack, between ourselves."
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"But I love to sell cars, I really do."
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"You're not gonna sell a car the first day."
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"I will sell more cars than anybody in your showroom."
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"You won't sell a car the first day. Nobody does it the first day."
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"- I'll have it down when I get there. - Come by on Monday?"
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"Thank you."
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"- Really? - Yeah, it's all done."
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"They've already moved their stuff out, we're ready."
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"I'm selling cars."
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"Yeah, you know, he said I could try it."
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"What do you think?"
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""Excuse me, sir, perhaps the Land Cruiser would interest you."
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"It's insane."
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"All I want is work in a showroom for a while."
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"Larry David just walked in."
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"- Who you talking to? - Alan."
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"- Boy, you look great. - Yeah."
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"- No, I'm good. - Okay."
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"I like how our representatives got us together here."
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"Right, Schneider, yeah."
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"They set us up. Did he tell you that I was buying his house?"
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"Yeah."
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"Things are, you know, things are good. I don't know, I've got this set up..."
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"I'd love to go back to TV, that seems good. But I can't shake this George thing."
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""You can't imagine what a great actor this guy is."
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""He is nothing like that character.""
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"I don't see him that way, I just see him as funny."
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"But he was the fall guy, the jackass role."
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"with the envelope. Doesn't know what he wants."
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"and stealing a tape out of her answering machine?"
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"And, masturbation contests, four people agreeing..."
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"I just had this idea."
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"For a series, an idea for a series, okay?"
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"In other words, you play an actor..."
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"because he was on this mega-hit series, like a Seinfeld kind of series..."
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"You son of a bitch, that's pretty damn good."
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"All right, let's do it. Come on, let's go, you wanna do it?"
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"You working on another thing, another show or something?"
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"If I'm closing in on something, price, always come to you."
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"- All right, thank you. - The cars sell themselves."
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"This is as good as it gets."
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"- Is it twin cam? - Yeah, twin cam."
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"You know, you don't have the need to tilt in this car."
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"- Really? - Yeah."
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"I heard that these SUVs..."
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"That's my step-brother's name, Apheon."
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"No, okay."
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"- I like it. - What you need a big car for?"
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"Maybe she won't be able to afford the car if she takes it off the lot."
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"I'm really not interested in buying today, okay?"
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"- Really? - Yeah."
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"You know, that's not how the business works."
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"People, they think about it and they're, you know..."
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"- What does that mean? - The whole car-selling thing."
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"I want to show them I can do it."
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"House seems different than it did the other day."
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"Yeah, it's definitely different."
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"What's that noise?"
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"- You know, noises that a house makes? - Houses make noises?"
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"- Plumbing, or it's settling. - What? Settling?"
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"Told you I didn't trust that Schneider."
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"With the big, round steering wheel like that, you know."
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"You get the wood grain, we might do this today."
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