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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Wire (S01E01)

"There it is. That's what we've been looking at day and night."
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"Jesus Christ."
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"It was like that when we moved in..."
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"and it has been bugging me so much, I can't even tell you."
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"That's horrible. Tell me exactly what has to be done, because that has got to be fixed."
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"They put it underground. It's environmentally safe."
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"- This has to be buried. - Thank you."
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"Let the machine get it, it's okay."
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"Hi, we're not in right now, so just leave a message."
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"Larry, it's Jeff."
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"That kid that I sponsored, the one who set that fire..."
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"The camp called."
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"They want me to pay $17,000 in damages. Me!"
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"If you know any lawyer who handles such things, call me."
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"Call me anyhow. I'm nuts! 'Bye."
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"- Okay, I didn't know who that was... - That's my manager."
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"Really?"
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"- Did Jeff say he needed a lawyer? - I overheard that, that you were..."
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"- Oh, my gosh. - Rutgers and University of Vermont, too."
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"- Holy! - Look at this."
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"- I'll be happy to give him your number. - I'm happy to help out."
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"See, you got a new client. Did you think you'd come and get a new client?"
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"- Anything could happen. - A lot of people sue me."
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"I'm very vulgar and... You might wind up suing me."
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"I would never sue you, no."
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"Do the cast members ever come over to the house?"
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"I'll just say it: She played Elaine on the show."
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"- Julia. - He's obsessed with her."
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"- He thinks she's the most talented actress. - She's great."
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"Tell me if I'm going over the line here..."
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"but it's always been a dream of mine..."
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"to meet Julia Louis-Dreyfus, just meet her in person."
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"And if you could just make a phone call, make that happen, that would be so great."
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"I'm more than happy to call her up."
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"I can't guarantee."
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"It's so hard to get anything absolutely guaranteed."
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"Like you want to get something buried, you don't know if it's guaranteed."
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"You don't even know if that... There's a lot of papers to be signed."
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"I agree with you there."
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"I know I can make something happen."
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"I don't say, "I think I can." I can make something happen."
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"I just wanted to be clear..."
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"- I think you're pretty clear. - We have an understanding."
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"This has to be buried."
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"- I'm going to give you my number. - Great."
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"Yeah, we'll do that on the way out."
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"I've got a nice casserole in the oven right now."
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"I can't do it because there's something wrong with my stomach."
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"- Okay? I can't. - Thank you so much for coming over."
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"Let me just show you out."
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"Fuck him!"
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"Julia Louis-Dreyfus is not showing up at his house..."
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"and you'll have to kill me before I call her to do that."
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"And I will move, do you understand me?"
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"I will move before I make that phone call. Move!"
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"If you want to get that wire down, look for a house."
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"Let's relax for a moment, okay?"
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"What's the guy, 40 years old? He's got to meet Julia Louis-Dreyfus!"
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"What does he think? He'll go over there, she'll be so charmed by him..."
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"that all of a sudden they'll be friends?"
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"They'll talk on the phone, go out to dinner, go to the movies?"
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"Start e-mailing each other? Summer vacations?"
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"Is he out of his fucking mind?"
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"One phone call, one small favor..."
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"I can't live with that wire any longer."
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"I've done so much work trying to get this removed..."
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"Why do there have to be 300 pillows on the bed?"
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"Listen, please, I'm asking you."
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"Yeah, she's gonna think it's really funny."
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"I really thought we had the deal cinched with the lawyer, with Jeff."
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"- I know. - I should call Jeff and tell him about this."
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"- It's 10:20. - 10:00 is the cut-off time."
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"- You don't call after 10:00. - No, 10:30."
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"- The cut-off time... - Is that right?"
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"Yeah, cut-off time's 10:30. Everybody knows that."
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"It's a 10:30 cut-off."
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"Susie, it's Larry. Did I wake you?"
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"I'm really sorry."
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"No, it's nothing. I'll just talk to him tomorrow."
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"No, I'm really sorry."
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"Okay. All right."
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"How'd that work out for you?"
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"Susie was pretty pissed off. She's really upset."
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"No, 10:20, you called, 10:00 the cut-off. If you called at 10:01, she'd be just as mad."
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"- Is that right? - Listen, I've got a big problem."
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"Dean, your lawyer friend, I don't think he's competent."
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"- He's a weird guy. - He's weird, but he's very shrewd."
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"Shrewd? He's a wire lawyer, I know."
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"I know what you're doing."
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"You've got me some expensive idiot lawyer, so you can have your wire dropped down."
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"- I know your games. - I'm sorry."
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"You screwed me with this guy, I know it. I wanna let you know that I know it."
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"Wait, first of all, I didn't even have to tell you the story behind that."
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"- You cannot get rid of him. - I have to, he's a freak."
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"The guy's a total prick, he'll do a good job, believe me. Pricks are good."
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"You want a prick, and this guy's a prick. Look at you."
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"You're a prick, you're doing a good job. Are you a prick or not?"
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"- I am a prick. - In business, are you a prick?"
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"- This guy's a bigger prick than you. - You're not taking this seriously."
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"I know."
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"Listen to me, that kid, he called me, begging me to come stay with me."
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"He got kicked out of the camp, he wants to stay at my house."
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"- You're kidding. - He said, "If I go home early from camp..."
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""my mom will kill me, thinking I did bad things.""
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"- You let this kid stay in your house? - Yeah."
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"So, you're going to put up a sociopath for a couple of days?"
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"- He's not a sociopath, he's a good kid. - He burned down the canteen."
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"He burned down the canteen, and the cabin, but they were both accidents."
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"- Got insurance? - Yeah."
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"I've got 10 minutes, tops, that's it, because I got to get to school."
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"The whole thing, okay, really."
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"- Who is it? - It's Larry David."
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"- Are you by yourself? - No, I'm with Julia."
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"Oh, my... Are you okay?"
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"- Oh, my God. - Julia Louis-Dreyfus, this is Phyllis."
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"- Weinstock, Phyllis Weinstock. - Hi, it's nice to meet you."
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"Are you okay?"
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"- Yes and no. - Oh, dear."
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"Yes and no."
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"My cat died."
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