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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Wire (S01E01)

"You're positive. Has he admitted to it?"
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"What's all that about?"
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"I don't know what the right word is. I'm flabbergasted, I'll tell you why."
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"You're so complimentary. Very nice of you."
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"- Okay, thank you. - Why do you have to be home early?"
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"All right, best behavior, please."
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"- That's horrible. - All you have to do is sign some papers."
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"- Right. - We've taken care of everything else."
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"- I'm a lawyer. - You are?"
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"And who knows, you know what? Maybe I'll be able to need a lawyer someday."
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"Do they come here and just hang out with you by the pool and..."
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"Okay, she's not just beautiful, and she's not just talented. She's sublime."
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"- What kind of person is that? - He's a fan."
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"to make this house completely perfect."
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"I don't think she'll mind. And she'll probably think it's funny."
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"Wait, what time is it?"
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"- You don't call people after 10:00. - No, the cut-off time is 10:30."
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"- 10:00 is the cut-off, man. - I thought the cut-off was 10:30."
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"- You hooked me up with a freak. - He's probably a good lawyer."
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"we're never gonna get rid of that wire in the backyard."
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"The camp's gonna charge me. They're trying to get me to pay."
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"- Thanks again. - It's fine, but I have to tell you something."
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"Please sit down."
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""Don't let them leave." I said, "Don't worry about that.""
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"Give me another 10 minutes with this lunatic."
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"- Oh, God. - This is good."
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"You know, I don't mean to be a party pooper..."
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"Tell me about Jerry Seinfeld..."
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"because he was in the Beth Shalom choir."
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"And that's what he wanted to be, he was a choirboy."
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"- He didn't leave, he's still here. - What?"
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"I'm not asking her again. You want to ask her, you go ask her."
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"Don't you understand?"
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"I have 10 minutes before the cut-off time."
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"Really?"
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"I'm sorry about this."
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"Sorry for coming over so late..."
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"I'll just take a quick look in the kitchen. I'll be out of here in a second."
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"Most people have a 10:00 or 10:30 cut-off."
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"And those are my notes, and these are my bills and stuff."
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"- Oh, my God. - Want me to kick him out?"
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"- Larry, what the hell are you doing? - No, that's where I was sitting."
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"- What are you doing? - Mommy?"
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"We had a hell of a time putting him to bed."
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"Do you think I can call New York right now? I'm gonna call Seinfeld."
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"- I gotta tell him about this. - What's the cut-off on New York?"
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"- I have to call Seinfeld, then I'll be right up. - He's not gonna believe it."
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"He took our wedding video, okay?"
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"Do you understand that? I'm pissed, Jeffrey!"
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"I've just had it with you!"
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"Jeff and I were gonna play the new computer golf game."
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"You happy?"
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"Jeff, you never told him about my trouble sleeping?"
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"- It seems reasonable, a 10:00 cut-off. - Please respect that."
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"It's gone, you fucking, motherfucking..."
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"- Will you put that away for me? - I can't find that pad anywhere."
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"I went to Starbucks, they don't have it. I went to the gas station."
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"- How are you doing? - I'm okay."
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"- This looks bad, I know it does. - This is my bracelet."
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"- That's Cheryl's bracelet, Julia. - You keep the bracelet now."
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"I can't believe we're actually meeting. This is great."
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"It's me. The point is, you met her."
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"Okay, we have a divergence of opinion. This happens all the time in law."
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"You saw that as a meeting. I saw it as a horrible moment in my life."
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"Okay, get out."
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"Was it burned to the ground? Are you sure it's him?"
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"Look, no one was killed, no one was hurt."
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"No!"
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"You know what? I got to call you back in a few minutes, okay?"
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"I can't believe he did this. I'm very sorry, that's all I can tell you. 'Bye."
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"What's going on?"
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"- You know, l... - You got a tissue or something in here?"
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"No."
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"- You okay? - What's going on?"
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"I sponsored a kid from the inner city to go to summer camp."
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"- You sponsored an inner-city kid? - An underprivileged kid."
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"- You're kidding. - No."
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"I'm completely nonplussed. Is that the right word?"
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"He set fire to the canteen and his cabin."
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"- Who does that? - Oh, my God!"
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"- That's insane. - Holy cow!"
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"That's too bad."
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"You do one nice thing. I assume it's the first nice thing you've ever done."
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"It would put you one up on me in that case, though I did try and stop a woman..."
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"who was about to get hit by a car, I screamed, "Watch out!""
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"I tried to save her and she screamed at me."
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"That's all it took for you to stop helping people."
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"- I got out of the nice business then. - I'm out of the nice now, after a fire."
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"Maybe you don't have all the facts and details."
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"- I've got to talk to the kid. - Talk to the kid, see what he has to say."
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"- I've got to find out. - In retrospect, it would have been better..."
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"had he been a kleptomaniac or another kind of maniac..."
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"- rather than pyro, because that's... - Pyro's a bad maniac."
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"If you're gonna be a maniac, pyro is a bad maniac."
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"- Not a good maniac. - That's not a good maniac."
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"Cheryl called. She wanted me to remind you to come home early tonight, okay?"
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"We've got this wire in our backyard."
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"My wife's obsessed with taking it down because it's ruining the view."
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"She wants to bury it underground."
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"To do that, we have to get signatures from adjacent neighbors."
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"Five have signed on. One couple won't sign it, they wanna meet us first."
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"- You ever heard of anything so nutty? - Never."
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"- Why are they doing that? - It's really wrong."
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"It's very wrong. It's so wrong."
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"- How's this? - That's better. Much better."
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"- It doesn't look better. - It does."
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"You think they'll like me better in this shirt?"
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"- They will. Please, just do this for me. - I'm doing it."
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"I've got to get rid of that wire. It's making me crazy."
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"What do you think? Does everything look all right?"
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"- It looks fine, the house looks great. - The pillows and the..."
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"Who gives a shit? Looks okay, what's the difference?"
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"- Okay, here we go. - Let's get this over with."
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"- Please come in. - Dean."
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"- Hi, Dean, I'm Larry. - Hi, Phyllis."
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"I'm finally in the house that Jerry Seinfeld built."
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"He can do that kind of thing."
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"Okay, this is the living room."
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"- Is that Swiss coffee or vanilla bean? - I think it's Chocolate Cho-Cho."
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"He's teasing, you know. Let's head outside. Let me show you the problem."
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