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Clips from Saved by the Bell - Fatal Distraction (S01E01)

"I can just picture them now."
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"I'm so jealous. May I have a lock of his hair?"
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"Why?"
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"I want to grow my own Screech in a jar."
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"Yeah."
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"Zack, I make her tinkle."
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"- You know what? - Quiet, listen."
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"To give us something to talk about at slumber parties."
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"- I like it longer. - Well Jason wants me to cut it."
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"Jason touches her hair, he's a dead man."
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"Well, maybe."
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"who had the qualities of let's say, Michael Jackson."
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"Oooh!"
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"What about you, Kelly? Who's your dream guy?"
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"You know who really is a hunk?"
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"- Who? - Dennis Quaid!"
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"That wuss?"
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"We know you're not taking Dennis Quaid to the dance..."
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"So who are you going with? Slater or Zack?"
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"Well, there's something mysterious about AC Slater."
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"But Zack Morris is kind of cute in a playful way."
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"If I had to make my decision right now, I'd pick Zack."
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"Yes!"
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"What shot?"
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"That's weird, the Lakers aren't playing tonight."
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"I don't believe this you guys. We've been bugged."
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"What's wrong, Screech?"
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"I don't know. Maybe the Lakers game interfered with it."
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"There is no Lakers game, you idiot."
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"Oh yeah? Then what were you screaming at, you bonehead?"
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"Just fix it. It was just starting to get good."
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"Of all the lowest, underhanded things... this is unreal."
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"To think a guy would go through all this trouble,"
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"No, it's so illegal. Zack's violating our privacy."
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"Look, guys, it's just a stupid prank."
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"Let's not get angry. Let's get even."
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"I've got an idea to get Zack back. But I'm going to need your help."
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"Okay, everybody ready?"
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"Would you pass the cola?"
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"Okay, okay, I've got a game."
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"Every girl has to tell her deepest, darkest secret --"
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"something she's never told anyone before."
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"Okay, I'll go first."
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"It was in the mall."
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"I once stole... a tube of lipstick."
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"Whoa!"
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"Boring! How about you Kelly?"
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"Well, mine's more serious than that."
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"You see, whenever I like a boy,"
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"I end up hurting him."
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"You mean, you break up with him right?"
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"No, I mean, I hurt him."
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"Oooh. This is creepy."
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"then something happens, and I snap."
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"You poor thing."
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"I black out, then wake up..."
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"The poor boy? The poor boy what?"
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"Zack, Kelly's dangerous."
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"Zack, I'm worried."
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"Girls can be brutal."
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"You ever see "Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling"?"
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"Come on, you don't think she's going to hurt me?"
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"Do you?"
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"Oh, my God."
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"I'm not like other boys."
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"I'd like you to share your life with me."
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"Screech, beat it, or I'll give you that high voice permanently."
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"- My office. Now. - Mr. Belding, it's me Screech!"
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"Talk fast, Zack. You don't-- I mean, I don't have much time."
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"I tried to call you all weekend and you're never home."
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"I know. I had to spend a lot of time with Kelly."
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"She needed you? Something wrong with Kelly?"
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"I really shouldn't be talking about this. I've got to go."
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"Jessie, what are you trying to tell me?"
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"Look, Zack, I really care for you."
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"Well, I just don't want to see you get... hurt."
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"You mean emotionally hurt?"
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"No, "Mike Tyson" hurt."
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"What are you trying to tell me?"
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"Look, we've been friends all our lives"
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"Goodbye, Zack."
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"Wow, what happened to you?"
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"Hey, I don't want to talk about it."
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"What? Were you in an accident?"
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"Fall down a flight of stairs? Well then, what?"
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"You swear you won't tell anybody?"
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"Well, Kelly beat me up."
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"She beat you up?"
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"It's humiliating, Zack."
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"Then what happened?"
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"Kelly asked me over last night. And it was going great for a while."
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"and then she turned on me."
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"I'm telling you, Zack. Please be careful."
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"Bingo! "Kapowski.""
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"That's why I'm looking through the principal's files."
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"Medical history -- measles, mumps..."
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"Mr. Belding!"
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"Morris, what are you doing in my office?"
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"Mr. Belding, thank goodness you're here."
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"I need your help. My life is being threatened by one of your students."
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"Just one? You're losing your touch."
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"Mr. Belding, this is serious."
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"Okay, okay, who is it? Terrible Tommy Tanner,"
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"or Norman "No Neck" Nunzio?"
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"Neither. Kelly "The Killer" Kapowski."
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"Kelly Kapowski? Excuse me for a moment."
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"What's she going to do,"
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"spike you to death with a volleyball?"
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"It's like "Fatal Attraction" -- she loves me and I'm dead meat."
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"Zack, maybe you're making too much out of this."
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"When you're a ladies' man, you're going to make girls mad sometimes."
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"You cannot please them all."
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"They all get headaches, Morris."
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"Mr. Belding, please help me!"
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"Relax, Zack. I know where you're coming from."
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"Hey, I was also a big ladies' man."
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"Sometimes they're going to act a little out of sorts."
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"You just chalk it up to hormones."
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"I'm positive. Hey, I've been around."
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"You've got nothing to worry about."
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