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Clips from American Dad! (2005) - Comedy (S01E01)

"- Are you insane? You can'tjust abduct me. - Don't you use that word in this house."
American Dad! (2005)
"I liberated you. Maybe now you'll think twice before dating the wrong guy."
American Dad! (2005)
"- There's nothing wrong with Jeff. - I forbid you to see him."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Stan, I'm not sure we... - Francine, wait in the car."
American Dad! (2005)
"This is for your own good. Jeff was much too relaxed at dinner."
American Dad! (2005)
"- He had the laid-back attitude of a stone man. - You mean a stoner?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Go wait in the car. - You can't do this. I'm 18."
American Dad! (2005)
"While you're under my roof, you'll live by my rules."
American Dad! (2005)
"Dude, this is your house. And you're alive."
American Dad! (2005)
"Guess what? I don't have to listen to your rules any more."
American Dad! (2005)
"- I'm moving in with Jeff. - What?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Right on, babe. - Hayley, don't go."
American Dad! (2005)
"You get back here, Hayley. No? I didn't want to have to use this."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Rhubarb. - Rhubarb?"
American Dad! (2005)
"She's supposed to kill Walter Mondale, but I guess it didn't take."
American Dad! (2005)
"- What? You live in your van? - No. We live in our van."
American Dad! (2005)
"How could you not tell me you live in your van?"
American Dad! (2005)
"This van is our pen and the road is our parchment,"
American Dad! (2005)
"Yup, this is the spot. We are right where we need to be."
American Dad! (2005)
"Francine, you are gonna love this."
American Dad! (2005)
"- She's not going anywhere. - Stan, are you sure she's..."
American Dad! (2005)
"At least the last time you ran away you made it all the way to the stop sign."
American Dad! (2005)
"That's funny. I'm funny."
American Dad! (2005)
"Stan. Our little girl is back."
American Dad! (2005)
"- I didn't order rude service. - Roger, why aren't you in the attic?"
American Dad! (2005)
"That's good. That's not too bright. That's fine."
American Dad! (2005)
"Stan, she's still out there."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Is Roger moving into Hayley's room? - No, he is not."
American Dad! (2005)
"Fine. I'll go up to the attic. I'm supposed to bring pneumonia back to my planet anyway."
American Dad! (2005)
"Sure you don't wanna move back in? Maybe the clown will ride the pig."
American Dad! (2005)
"A girl just groped me with her foot."
American Dad! (2005)
"What the heck? Since when does Frankle reel in the babes?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Sure, girls. I'll judge your kissing contest."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Even better. Say hello to your new daughter. - What?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Isn't she beautiful? - Is that a Chinese baby?"
American Dad! (2005)
"One of us pooped."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Eat your peas. - Why?"
American Dad! (2005)
"So you're strong enough to fight off Clinton's sexual advances."
American Dad! (2005)
"There he is, right outside."
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, first he was a US ally then a dictator. Yeah, a dictator. I mean, it's good, I'm happy."
American Dad! (2005)
"We gotta celebrate. How about drinks at the place with the buffet?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Have you talked to Hayley? Let her know you want her home?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Absolutely not. I could never grovel to my own daughter."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Paper or plastic? - Burlap."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Dad? - No. I am former communist named Petrov."
American Dad! (2005)
"You're coming home or else."
American Dad! (2005)
"Or else you can't use this. We gave you this card and I can damn well take it back."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Fine. I don't need your money. - Good, cos I'm cutting you off."
American Dad! (2005)
"I on break in, like, two minutes."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Thanks for tutoring me. - Did you hear about Frankle's brother's arm?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Yeah. Poor Frankle. I just wanted to hug him and never let go."
American Dad! (2005)
"Did I not mention my sister, who was horrifically burned over 98% of her body?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I've been studying. I even watched that Meg Ryan movie where she plays that burn victim."
American Dad! (2005)
"- What happened? - I was dating a pool guy."
American Dad! (2005)
"He thought it would be kinky to give each other chlorine massages. I went first."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Don't tease me. - No, really."
American Dad! (2005)
"I think you're beautiful."
American Dad! (2005)
"freezing my Snickers, sticking me in the shade outside."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Steve, that is so sweet. - I know. Wanna go to the dance?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Saw my tushie."
American Dad! (2005)
"Impressive. A lesbian of colour couldn't have done a betterjob."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'd give it an A. If you had paid your tuition."
American Dad! (2005)
"- You have three days to pay your tuition. - A semester's tuition?"
American Dad! (2005)
"How am I supposed to come up with 85 bucks in three days?"
American Dad! (2005)
"with nothing on it?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Yeah, this one's to drown my crabs."
American Dad! (2005)
"Don't worry, doll. It gets easier."
American Dad! (2005)
"Like any diseased hand, she'll soon come flopping back."
American Dad! (2005)
"- They always do. - I got her right where I want her."
American Dad! (2005)
"Let's welcome to the stage, Dusty."
American Dad! (2005)
"My God. What is she doing?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Pretending to ride a horse. If you wanna see a real horse you gotta go to the track."
American Dad! (2005)
"Dusty, you're on fire, and that's a double dance for you."
American Dad! (2005)
"Showing people her Ho Hos, her Ding Dongs, her Suzy Q's, her..."
American Dad! (2005)
"God, what are those called, the little pink with coconut? They're really good."
American Dad! (2005)
"For real. She said she was out torching SUVs."
American Dad! (2005)
"Yeah. I've dated three strippers and two of them turned up dead."
American Dad! (2005)
"The cops always go to the boyfriend with the van. That's profiling, and that's wrong."
American Dad! (2005)
"Yeah, but I gotta be up early for church camp, so I thought we'd fool around beforehand."
American Dad! (2005)
"Thank you, Jesus."
American Dad! (2005)
"You know, some blush would really bring out your cheekbones."
American Dad! (2005)
"I love that idea. Paint me, paint me."
American Dad! (2005)
"- I am. - Dad."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Jeff, I'll do the talking. - Let me go."
American Dad! (2005)
"I see. Well, I don't want any trouble. I'll just be on my merry little way."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hayley, are you in there? I brought some fresh laundry and rinsed out your tinkle can."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hayley's working at a booby bar?"
American Dad! (2005)
"It's never been about Tina."
American Dad! (2005)
"Kim, we are running out of time if we're gonna, you know, get busy."
American Dad! (2005)
"Here I come."
American Dad! (2005)
"All you had to do was sit and be ugly."
American Dad! (2005)
"- You are. - Shut up."
American Dad! (2005)
"Rouge can make a fella do crazy things, Steve."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Sorry I ruined your plan. - Sorry I called you ugly."
American Dad! (2005)
"Stop. Just stop right there."
American Dad! (2005)
"We've tried doing things your way and it's made things worse."
American Dad! (2005)
"- I never meant to drive Hayley away. - Stan, we need to listen to these ho bags."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hayley will make mistakes, but they're hers to make,"
American Dad! (2005)
"and as parents the most important thing we can do is be supportive."
American Dad! (2005)
"Shake it, baby. You will not break it."
American Dad! (2005)
"It took me nine months to make it."
American Dad! (2005)
"- What are you guys doing? - Being supportive."
American Dad! (2005)
"I've been treating you like a little girl and, well, you're a grown woman."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Come back home, honey. - What do you say?"
American Dad! (2005)
"You have terrific parents. I guess you're done here and you'll be going back home?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Nah, I think I'll stay. Hit it, Ron."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Damn. - I'm going out with Jeff."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Hey, be home by 11. - Dad."
American Dad! (2005)
"- OK. Just be safe. - Thanks, Daddy."
American Dad! (2005)
"Do you have visual? Stay three car lengths behind and check in with me every half-hour."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Muzzle. - Point for Steve. Good one."
American Dad! (2005)
"You missed family game night for that? Wash it out. You look like a slutty wad of money."
American Dad! (2005)
"Nice dome. You're almost as ugly as Roger."
American Dad! (2005)
"Do me a favour. Stay out of my life."
American Dad! (2005)
"Perfect. What is that? Horsehair?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Why don't we have him over for dinner?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Geeks don't get the choice babes until we're making cash in our mid-to-late 30s."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Come on, let's go to your place. - This is my place."
American Dad! (2005)
"Come celebrate on the patio."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Don't egg her on. She'll never come back. - She hates it in there."
American Dad! (2005)
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