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Clips from Seinfeld - The Subway (S03E03)

"Looking for the quotes."
Seinfeld
"Love a good quote."
Seinfeld
"What do you know?"
Seinfeld
"Me? No, I don't."
Seinfeld
"Doing very well. Very well, yeah."
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm in the market."
Seinfeld
"Which market?"
Seinfeld
"Which market? The... The big one."
Seinfeld
"The big market with the big board."
Seinfeld
"Bull market, bear market. You name the market, I'm there."
Seinfeld
"So do you work for one of the big brokerage houses?"
Seinfeld
"They wish."
Seinfeld
"I hate the big brokerage houses."
Seinfeld
"Hate them with a passion."
Seinfeld
"- Really? - Well, they hurt him bad."
Seinfeld
"It's a long story. I don't like to talk about it..."
Seinfeld
"...but I swore I would never work for a big brokerage house."
Seinfeld
"See, all they care about is money."
Seinfeld
"I'm about more than money. I'm about..."
Seinfeld
"...people."
Seinfeld
"So I've always gone my own way..."
Seinfeld
"...and I've never looked back."
Seinfeld
"I started riding these trains in the '40s."
Seinfeld
"Those days, a man would give up his seat for a woman."
Seinfeld
"Now we're liberated. We have to stand."
Seinfeld
"It's ironic."
Seinfeld
"What's ironic?"
Seinfeld
"This. That we've come all this way, we made all this progress..."
Seinfeld
"...but, you know, we lost the little things, the niceties."
Seinfeld
"No, I mean, what does ironic mean?"
Seinfeld
"Where you off to with such a nice present?"
Seinfeld
"- A wedding? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"I didn't think people still get married."
Seinfeld
"It's hard today with the men and women."
Seinfeld
"You're telling me."
Seinfeld
"- So they're a nice couple? - Oh, very nice."
Seinfeld
"What does he do, if you don't mind my asking?"
Seinfeld
"- She. - She?"
Seinfeld
"There is no he."
Seinfeld
"There's no he?"
Seinfeld
"So who's getting married?"
Seinfeld
"It's..."
Seinfeld
"...a lesbian wedding."
Seinfeld
"Lesbian wedding?"
Seinfeld
"Yep. Yep, I'm..."
Seinfeld
"...the best man."
Seinfeld
"Great."
Seinfeld
"My luck. I don't talk to a soul on the subway for 35 years..."
Seinfeld
"...I get the best man at a lesbian wedding."
Seinfeld
"No, no. You don't understand."
Seinfeld
"I'm not a lesbian!"
Seinfeld
"I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian."
Seinfeld
"I'm really looking forward to this."
Seinfeld
"I love weddings. Maybe I'll meet somebody."
Seinfeld
"Maybe not."
Seinfeld
"Oh, man. We're stopping?"
Seinfeld
"Well, this is where I get off."
Seinfeld
"- You do? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Hey, why don't you...? Oh, nothing."
Seinfeld
"No, no. What?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I was gonna say, Why don't you get off with me."
Seinfeld
"...to some important meeting or something."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. Well..."
Seinfeld
"See, I knew it was a bad idea."
Seinfeld
"Hey, what's another million, give or take? I get off..."
Seinfeld
"...when and where I wanna get off."
Seinfeld
"I'm stuck. Could you just pull it a little-?"
Seinfeld
"This'll just be a second."
Seinfeld
"Don't start the train!"
Seinfeld
"Here it is. Here it is, the four horse in the first race."
Seinfeld
"- Pappernick. - How do you know he's gonna win?"
Seinfeld
"My UPS guy. Lance."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah? - Yeah. They've been sandbagging..."
Seinfeld
"...looking for a good spot. He's been getting in light..."
Seinfeld
"...because they're using a bug boy. The workouts have been unpublished."
Seinfeld
"He's gonna go for a great price, maybe 30-1."
Seinfeld
"- I'm telling you, it's a lock. - But it rained last night."
Seinfeld
"Exactly. This horse loves the slop."
Seinfeld
"It's in his bloodlines. His father was a mudder."
Seinfeld
"- His mother was a mudder. - His mother was a mudder?"
Seinfeld
"What did I say? Let's go to the office. I'm gonna call my bookie."
Seinfeld
"Hey, don't tell anybody."
Seinfeld
"Oh, man."
Seinfeld
"Okay."
Seinfeld
"You ought to sit here."
Seinfeld
"There's a difference."
Seinfeld
"You got something against the naked body?"
Seinfeld
"Who's got time for squat-thrusts?"
Seinfeld
"I'm guessing you're not a half-grapefruit and black coffee man."
Seinfeld
"I like a good breakfast."
Seinfeld
"I understand. I like a good breakfast..."
Seinfeld
"...long as you don't wind up trapped in a room in overalls and pigtails..."
Seinfeld
"I'm not ashamed of my body."
Seinfeld
"Don't get up."
Seinfeld
"Please, allow me."
Seinfeld
"Oh, this is great."
Seinfeld
"This is what I need, just what I need."
Seinfeld
"Okay, take it easy. I'm sure it's nothing."
Seinfeld
"Probably rats on the track."
Seinfeld
"God, it's so crowded."
Seinfeld
"How could there be so many people?"
Seinfeld
"This guy really smells."
Seinfeld
"Doesn't anyone use deodorant in the city?"
Seinfeld
"What is so hard? You take the cap off, you roll it on."
Seinfeld
"These disgusting animals. These people should be in a cage."
Seinfeld
"We are in a cage."
Seinfeld
"What if I miss the wedding?"
Seinfeld
"You can't get married without a ring. Oh, God-"
Seinfeld
"I can't breathe."
Seinfeld
"I feel faint."
Seinfeld
"Okay, take it easy. It'll start moving soon."
Seinfeld
"Think about people in concentration camps, what they went through."
Seinfeld
"And the hostages! What would you do if you were a hostage?"
Seinfeld
"Think about that. This is nothing."
Seinfeld
"No, it's not nothing, it's something."
Seinfeld
"Move it! Come on! Move this f****** thing!"
Seinfeld
"Why isn't it moving?!"
Seinfeld
"What could go wrong with a train? It's on tracks."
Seinfeld
"There's no traffic. How could a train get stuck?"
Seinfeld
"Step on the gas!"
Seinfeld
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