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Clips from Van Wilder (2002)

"On it."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Is there anything you can tell me about yourself..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- It's a date. - It's an interview, not a date."
Van Wilder (2002)
"It's not like you're on a deadline for the Boston Globe."
Van Wilder (2002)
"It's the only time he had available. I'll call you as soon as I get back."
Van Wilder (2002)
"You know that three-letter word that starts with F?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"until you've shot putted blitzed on Jäger."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- Heinie? - This was a really bad idea."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Oh, God!"
Van Wilder (2002)
"The strip club owner got tired of using his B squad..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"We're still $1,200 short of your next tuition payment."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Taj, I learned a long time ago that worrying is like a rocking chair."
Van Wilder (2002)
"It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Don't even sweat it, Taj. I've got a plan."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- Let's go get fucked up. - Sounds good."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Is that all you think about?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"because I wanted to cut loose and shake my rump..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I certainly hope so, Mr. Wilder."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I'm Panos Patakos, president of the Lambda Omega Omega fraternity."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I'm sure you're aware of our... stigma."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Yeah, you guys have had the best GPA the last 50 years."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- Damn well should. - Amen."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I just don't have the time."
Van Wilder (2002)
"How much is your time worth?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Panos reminded me that I had one..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"my undeniable ability to throw one hell of a party."
Van Wilder (2002)
"The strawberry! Eat the strawberry! It's worth 250!"
Van Wilder (2002)
"I don't like the way you condescend me."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Guys."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I know Ms. Pac Man's special."
Van Wilder (2002)
"She's fun. She's cute. She swallows."
Van Wilder (2002)
"But we gotta talk, guys."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Huddle up. Come on. Team meeting here."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I look at you guys, and you know what I see?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"A collective GPA of 52,000?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Yeah! No!"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Am I right?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"No one even knows we're here."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Two girls utterly infatuated..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"with men who have larger than normal..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"medulla oblongatas."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Pearson, I got a hot news tip for you. It's Friday night. Get out of here."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- Where's my Wilder story? - There is no story, Elliot."
Van Wilder (2002)
"The guy's a joke. He tries to turn every interview into a date."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Look who's checking out the Badalandabad. Her name's Naomi."
Van Wilder (2002)
"That's I moan backwards."
Van Wilder (2002)
"You picked 'em."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Hey, babe."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- Why aren't you in costume? - I can't stay. I have to work tonight."
Van Wilder (2002)
"You're gonna miss the biggest party of the year."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Well, I gotta go."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- I'll call you tomorrow. - What?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Mad props for this pimpin' good time..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"go out to those hung and handsome bad boys..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- Let's get you some skates. - I'm not here to skate."
Van Wilder (2002)
"For some reason, my editor thinks you're a story."
Van Wilder (2002)
"you're a little soft."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Wow, all this time I thought I was more to you than just some flaccid story."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- Don't know if we got our point across. - Crystal clear, guys."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- This is incredible. - 100 percent. Don't go anywhere."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Seriously. Van is a godsend."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I would have paid him way more than a grand for this party."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I would have cashed in my Israel bonds."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- How do you put a price on dignity? - How do you put a price on poonani?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Whoa. Trick or treat. What's going on?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"This vaginal discharge won't let us partake in the party."
Van Wilder (2002)
"No can do. We're at maximum capacity."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- What are you doing here? - You two know each other?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"- What's it to you? - Thanks for the story."
Van Wilder (2002)
"What story?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Brilliant, Pearson."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I have been inundated with people telling me..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"how much they enjoy reading about this guy."
Van Wilder (2002)
"They want more, and so do I. I want you to do a follow-up."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Sick Boy. Can you believe she wrote that?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Van Wilder's phone. I do not foresee that to be a problem."
Van Wilder (2002)
"And that guy she's with-- all kinds of wrong for her."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Van Wilder's phone."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- Terrible. - I think so. Yeah."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Van's room. Saturday night, yeah."
Van Wilder (2002)
"That's-- How did you-- From the paper?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Yeah, that's fine! Okay, thanks."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- No problem confirming. Bye. - This writing, it's just--"
Van Wilder (2002)
"I was just wondering if you could... slam the door in my face."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Van, you must listen to me."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Because of her article, everybody wants to have a party thrown by Van Wilder..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"the party liaison."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Your cash camel has arrived!"
Van Wilder (2002)
"We need to talk."
Van Wilder (2002)
"You journalists and your irresponsible reporting."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I recorded quotes that you got money from the Lambdas to throw them a party."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Recorded? What are you, bugged? Do I need to frisk you?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Because I didn't want the students to know I threw the party."
Van Wilder (2002)
"They paid me, but that's not the only reason I did it."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Lambdas are cool in their own right. People just needed to realize it."
Van Wilder (2002)
"There's two sides to every story, Gwen."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I have a chance to make front page of the graduation issue..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"which is a huge deal to me."
Van Wilder (2002)
"There's this function I'm hosting tomorrow night."
Van Wilder (2002)
"If you want... you could tag along."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Remember, today's assignment is about shadow."
Van Wilder (2002)
"So don't get too hung up on detail."
Van Wilder (2002)
"All right, everybody?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"8:30 p.m. Yeah, that's fine."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Word spread around campus. My calendar was filled with parties to plan."
Van Wilder (2002)
"And then I broke the boredom."
Van Wilder (2002)
"They said I did them a mitzvah. That's Yiddish for good deed."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Threatened? Please."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I'm president of both my fraternity and the student government."
Van Wilder (2002)
"He's nothing more than a mild rectal itch."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- What's that, Richard? - You scratch it."
Van Wilder (2002)
"The more you scratch at it, the worse it gets..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"until finally you have nothing left but a raw, chafed..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"possibly infected anal cavity."
Van Wilder (2002)
"When all you had to do from the start was take a medicated pad..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"commerce and trade, so forth and so on."
Van Wilder (2002)
"What you doing?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"I'm in the middle of class. You know, that five-letter word."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I want you to have this."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- Yeah. - And thank you."
Van Wilder (2002)
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