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Clips from Van Wilder (2002)

"You know I have my Northwestern interview next week."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I know you had a fling with Wilder."
Van Wilder (2002)
"And I wouldn't want our future children to be tainted..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"because Mommy went slumming one night back in college."
Van Wilder (2002)
"'Cause it should be."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- Excuse me? - Look."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Out of my way!"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Stop packing! You can appeal the expulsion. It's in the school charter."
Van Wilder (2002)
"fuck you, you-you-you--"
Van Wilder (2002)
"You-- You dicksucker!"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Don't sugar coat it, Taj."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Sure, sure. You've made tons of friends..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"and all of our athletics-- those are all so minuscule?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"You've been looking for that dare-to-be-great situation."
Van Wilder (2002)
"It's ludicrous! By God, it's impetuous!"
Van Wilder (2002)
"- So does that mean you gonna help us? - Oh, it's on."
Van Wilder (2002)
"We are now in session. Mr. Wilder."
Van Wilder (2002)
"You have opted to appeal."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I've been a student here for seven years, and I've--"
Van Wilder (2002)
"I've learned a lot here at Coolidge."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I did receive exemplary marks."
Van Wilder (2002)
"that I realized what I was doing--"
Van Wilder (2002)
"I don't know why exactly."
Van Wilder (2002)
"whose whole life revolves around work."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I can't argue against the infraction."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Make me graduate."
Van Wilder (2002)
"crimson and blue for nearly a decade."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- Mr. Bagg? - Expulsion."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Reinstatement..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Professor McDoogle?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Let's see what the kid's made of."
Van Wilder (2002)
"And then we bumped uglies."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Ever."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Look. I know we have a lot of surgery to perform on our relationship."
Van Wilder (2002)
"But right now I am prepping for the biggest moment of our lives."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Sorry about that."
Van Wilder (2002)
"You certainly will be."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I certainly do."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Look, come in here. I want you to meet your future alumni."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Richard, I want you to meet Dr. Stern."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I'm bleeding!"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Yet knowing how way leads on to way..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I'm gonna need at least one more booklet."
Van Wilder (2002)
"All right."
Van Wilder (2002)
"It's getting to be that time of the hour."
Van Wilder (2002)
"You've all undoubtedly been to one of Van's parties."
Van Wilder (2002)
"As you're all aware, Van was almost expelled."
Van Wilder (2002)
"one who this reporter knows firsthand to have a serious problem..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Van put in more effort in six days than most have all semester."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Van. Hurry. The night of fun and fornication's upon us."
Van Wilder (2002)
"No, she-- she hasn't yet called back."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Well, I made it a point to personally come down here, Wilder."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- Ninety-one percent. - What?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"I've been waiting all these years for you to realize your potential."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- Thank you very much. - You're the best, Van."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- Okay? Excuse me. I'm sorry. - I'm sorry."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Hey, I know you, man! Oh, fuck."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Congratulations, Van. I knew you had it in you."
Van Wilder (2002)
"A friend of yours..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Wow."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- May I? - As long as we cuddle afterwards."
Van Wilder (2002)
"You can't even--"
Van Wilder (2002)
"I'm getting my shit together. Just one second."
Van Wilder (2002)
"And then-- I don't know how."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Coolidge College was established in 18--"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Who knows this? It was in your freshman facts."
Van Wilder (2002)
"The first day of spring semester."
Van Wilder (2002)
"A time to say good-bye to the parents once again..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Pro."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Hold on, son. You don't want to do this."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I didn't want to come here either. They made me come!"
Van Wilder (2002)
"My name's not--"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Timmy?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"- I don't have a pen. - Well, remember that then."
Van Wilder (2002)
"You see, Timmy, you can't let this lead you all the time."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Timmy?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Great work, Van. Thanks!"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Remember my credo, Timmy."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Don't be a fool. Stay in school."
Van Wilder (2002)
"My name is Van Wilder, and this is my home..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"The last, well, seven years have gone by way too fast."
Van Wilder (2002)
"This school's given me so much. I just can't seem to give enough back."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- Wow. - Yeah. Wow."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I was the first-ever male cheerleader at Huntington High!"
Van Wilder (2002)
"The first ever!"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Give me an N! What does it spell?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"I see a rabbi, and he's performing a circumcision..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"on himself though."
Van Wilder (2002)
"We're just gonna do a little bit of word association."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Cookies!"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Let's get it started then, shall we?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Medic."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- Having us both at the same time... - Will definitely lighten your load."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- We will bend over backwards for you. - There's nothing too big..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- We'll stay on top of you... - And ride you all semester."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Basically, we're saying we won't blow the job, Van."
Van Wilder (2002)
"By the way, can you tell me if there'll be any international travel?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Seriously, I swear to God, I'm really uncomfortable now."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Not one acceptable candidate."
Van Wilder (2002)
"What is wrong with the youth of today?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Fries their brain cells, man."
Van Wilder (2002)
"It's cool, Colossus. We'll find somebody."
Van Wilder (2002)
"They are getting bigger, aren't they?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"I'll get that."
Van Wilder (2002)
"What's your name?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"I'm Taj Mahal Badalandabad."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Where are you from, Taj?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Welcome. What can we do for you?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"My exchange program culminates at the end of this school year..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"at which time I must return to my home country..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I would like very much to spend my remaining days here as your assistant."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Okay. We're just gonna do a little word association."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Tit!"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Most Indians would say cow because they are sacred..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"but I hear ”milk, I think giant jugs."
Van Wilder (2002)
"dine at just one American pink taco stand."
Van Wilder (2002)
"You know, I wanted to-- how is it-- park the porpoise."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I want to take it through the car wash, baby."
Van Wilder (2002)
"And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it!"
Van Wilder (2002)
"You know, and air dry."
Van Wilder (2002)
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