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Clips from Van Wilder (2002)

"- Since my freshman year. - I bet he's a tighty whitey guy."
Van Wilder (2002)
"You can tell a lot about a person by the kind of drawers they wear."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I just wanted a visual."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Like their actions."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- Why? - I like it here."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I used to party with this guy who once told me..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive."
Van Wilder (2002)
"You think about the future too much, you kinda forget about the present..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"And I am really enjoying the present right now..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"sharing a penalty box and a tri-latte with Gwen Pearson..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"who believes censorship reflects society's lack of confidence in itself."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Okay, look, I read the damn article, but don't tell anyone..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"because if word gets out that I read, my reputation--"
Van Wilder (2002)
"shot to hell."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I mean, this girl is dynamite."
Van Wilder (2002)
"and Barry White."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Barry White."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- I'm gonna go wash my hands now. - Oh, Gwen!"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Your labia feels so good around my swollen phallus."
Van Wilder (2002)
"It's kinda hard in 15 seconds."
Van Wilder (2002)
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"She was getting awfully chummy with the rectal itch."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Son of a bitch. Disappear!"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Yes, superior leader, sir."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I got dinner at Gwen's parents' house."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Sounds special. Is Wilder gonna be there?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"See you tonight. Gwen. The invite to the parents' house."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I'm off. Taj, you're in charge."
Van Wilder (2002)
"So you could teach me how to muff dive?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Well, yeah, but also..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"By all means. Come in, please."
Van Wilder (2002)
"and we talked it over."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Excuse me, gentlemen."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Oh, well, holy crap. I hope you're not on call tonight."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Van Wilder, G-L-A-D to meet you."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Dr. Pearson?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"- Indeed. - Indeed. Super."
Van Wilder (2002)
"He's in his, what, sixth year?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Surely you have a career in mind."
Van Wilder (2002)
"that my editor has asked me to do an exposé on him..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Gwen is an extremely gifted journalist."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Richard, you rascal, you never told me that you were a DIK."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Your friend doesn't fit in. He's a virus, and I'm the vaccine."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- I can't believe you're doing this. - Pop quiz. True or false."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Easy, sailor."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Oh, yes."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Are you stalking me? Because that would be super."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Was that a--"
Van Wilder (2002)
"I want to apologize for what Richard did the other night."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Yeah, I know..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- Is he ready? - Ah, yeah, he's ready."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Oh, stop for a second. Stop."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Lovely."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- So creamy. - They're awesome."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Oh, my God!"
Van Wilder (2002)
"That feels so good."
Van Wilder (2002)
"This is the culmination of my being."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Baby, I'm about to culminate. Now, get over here."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I wonder how T-Bad's date's going."
Van Wilder (2002)
"More importantly..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Swim team really does need your love, folks."
Van Wilder (2002)
"into that weenie bikini..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Thank you, Milty!"
Van Wilder (2002)
"cash, Visa and full-frontal nudity."
Van Wilder (2002)
"That's right, folks. Save the swim team."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Sex sells, Gwen. Sex sells."
Van Wilder (2002)
"It's not too late for you to enter the doubles breaststroke if you like."
Van Wilder (2002)
"No, thanks. I forgot my suit."
Van Wilder (2002)
"All right, look."
Van Wilder (2002)
"The vet assured me that canine semen is perfectly healthy."
Van Wilder (2002)
"In fact, surprisingly rich--"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Whoa. You went klepto on my transcripts."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Not for the paper. For me."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I have no comment..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"for either of you."
Van Wilder (2002)
"External occipital protuberance."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I knew you weren't listening."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Let's get out of here, go grab a beer."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I study till 11:00. Nine solid hours of sleep."
Van Wilder (2002)
"And also correct."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Which gives us 2 hours and 53 minutes of study time."
Van Wilder (2002)
"This multi-coalition party was a masterful plan."
Van Wilder (2002)
"You've never doubted yourself in your whole life."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I'm gonna go make some calls for the party, okay?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"- Hi, Van. - Hi, Donna."
Van Wilder (2002)
"just take a look at this."
Van Wilder (2002)
"And a few that weren't mine. Stepped into the wrong one."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Liked what I heard, stayed."
Van Wilder (2002)
"That's great. It really is."
Van Wilder (2002)
"It really is. But don't do it for me."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I shouldn't even be talking to you like this."
Van Wilder (2002)
"even if you know it's someplace you know you're not supposed to be."
Van Wilder (2002)
"- This would be a first. - Why do I find that hard to believe?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"I just couldn't believe it. Gwen and Van in the women's locker room."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Bye. Thanks for coming."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Because they're compatible."
Van Wilder (2002)
"A perfect match, connected forever."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Gwenny, I'm just saying that they're a match."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Lucky girl."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Richard, I don't know what to say."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I'm not sure, and for some reason..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I feel really good about that."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Dope song. What's it called?"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Gwen Used Me For Her Story, Then Married an Ass Wipe..."
Van Wilder (2002)
"and Ran Over My Heart With a Big Metaphorical Truck."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Okay, you can do this."
Van Wilder (2002)
"I know you were right believing for so long"
Van Wilder (2002)
"Hey. Excuse me. Gwen!"
Van Wilder (2002)
"She reads at a sophomore level."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Seriously, I'd really like to hold that date open."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Sounds to me like your rectal itch was getting a late-night booty scratch."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Now I don't even know where my bitch is."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Wilder's got some big blowout tonight. Maybe your bitch is gonna be there."
Van Wilder (2002)
"All right, sister. Enjoy yourself. Power to the people."
Van Wilder (2002)
"That's a first."
Van Wilder (2002)
"There's nothing fake about this ID."
Van Wilder (2002)
"This whole rivalry thing has become a tad childish."
Van Wilder (2002)
"That's right. Drink up."
Van Wilder (2002)
"Gentlemen."
Van Wilder (2002)
"All right, Trapper. Stay cool."
Van Wilder (2002)
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