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Clips from The Simpsons - There's No Disgrace Like Home (S01E01)

"- What's a mother to do? - Mm-hmm."
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"- Well, I sense greatness in my family. - Your family?"
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"- Mr. Burns, are you ready? - Yes."
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"Go, Mr. Burns."
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"Man, this is pathetic. I'm goin' for it!"
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"Bart, no! No! No! No!"
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"- Here we sit enjoying the shade - Hey, brother, pour on the wine"
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"Snap out of it, Marge."
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"Well, I'm not much of a drinker."
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"Musicians, cease that infernal tootling."
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""Thank you all..." uh,"for coming.""
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"- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Marge!"
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"I suggest you don't dawdle. The hounds will be released in ten minutes."
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"- Did you have a good time, son? - Yeah, thanks, Pop."
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"I predict big things for him down at the power plant."
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"Quick, Bart, give me a kiss."
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"Kiss you? But, Dad, I'm your kid."
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"Bart, please? Five bucks for a kiss."
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"I have never seen such an obvious attempt to curry my favor."
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"Fabulous observation, sir. Just fabulous."
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"- Now we can go home and act normal. - What do you mean?"
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"- After you. - Thank you so much."
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"- Me first! No, me. Me. Me. - No, me. No, me. Me. Me."
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"There was a farmer who had a dog"
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"B-i-n-g-o B-i-n-g-o"
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"- This is where you belong. - Yeah, Homer."
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"One of us. One of us. One of us. One of us."
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"B-i-n-g-o B-i-n-g-o"
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"-B-i-n-g-o"
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"to find this food for his children."
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"- Hey! - Look, everybody."
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"We've got to do better as a family."
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"Tonight, we're not going to shovel food in our mouths while we stare at the TV."
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"We're going to eat at the dining room table like a normal family."
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"No. We're going to say grace first."
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"Okay. Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub."
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"No! Ignore the boy, Lord."
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"Dear Lord, Thank you for this microwave bounty,"
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"I mean, our kids are uncontrollable hellions."
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"Pardon my French, but the Y act like savages."
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"Did you see them at the picnic?"
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"Of course you did. You're everywhere. You're "omnivorous.""
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"O Lord, why did you smite me with this family?"
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"- Amen! - Let's eat."
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"But, Homer, how long are we supposed to sit here..."
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"and listen to you bad-mouth us to the Man Upstairs?"
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"Look at that, kids. No fighting. No yelling."
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"- These people are obviously freaks. - Oh, you think so?"
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"Well, let's see what's behind door number two."
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"- What are they doing? - They're having a conversation."
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"I wish I could hear what they're saying."
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"Hmm. I did too. Better get the gun."
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"What's-a matter, Homer? Bloodiest fight of the year."
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"You're sitting there like a thirsty bump on a log."
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"Just kidding."
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"Good one, Moe. We're looking for a family of Peeping Toms..."
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"Ah, don't worry. This dog has the scent."
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"- What's gotten into Bobo? - I got some wieners in my pocket."
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"She said," Homer, you're a big disappointment.""
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"And God bless her soul, she was really on to something."
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"Don't blame yourself, Homer. You got dealt a bad hand."
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"You can't talk that way about my kids! Or at least two of them."
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"- Here's five you haven't met. - A tremendous right. That's gotta hurt."
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"Dr. Marvin Monroe's Family Therapy Center."
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"Huh? What?"
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"Honey, you have a problem, and it won't get better till you admit it."
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"I admit this: You better shut your big yap."
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"- Oh, you shut up. No, you shut up! - No, you shut up!"
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"Does this scene look familiar? If so, I can help."
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"No gimmicks. No pills. No faddiets."
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"The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle."
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"All right, time for a family meeting."
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"Why can't we have a meeting when you're watching TV?"
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"Now look, you know and I know this family needs help, professional help."
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"So I've made us an appointment with Dr. Marvin Monroe."
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"The fat guy on TV?"
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"You're sending us to a doctor who advertises on pro wrestling?"
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"Gee, Homer, are you sure this is the right thing to do?"
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"Honey, I've given this matter a lot of study,"
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"and of all the commercials I saw, his was the best."
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"- All it costs is $250. - We don't have that kind of money."
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"Well, then, we're just going to have to dig deep."
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"- Oh, Homer. - Oh, come on, Marge."
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"Why scrimp now on the off chance that they'll actually get in some place?"
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"Eighty-eight dollars and fifty cents."
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"That's it? That's the college fund we've been saving for all these years?"
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"I guess I'd have needed a partial scholarship."
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"To save this family, we're going to have to make the supreme sacrifice."
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"Homer, couldn't we pawn my engagement ring instead?"
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"Now, I appreciate that, honey, but we need $150 here!"
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"- Is it cable ready? - Ready as she'll ever be."
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"Mister, you got yourself a deal."
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"All our money, the college funds, the TV."
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"I'm holding it right now. Here it is. Look."
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"Check it out. 250 big ones."
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"show her the big, empty space where our TV used to be."
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"I'm taking you out for frosty chocolate milkshakes."
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"There go my young-girl dreams of Vassar."
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"Hello, I'm Dr. Marvin Monroe. No doubt you recognize me from TV."
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"- We would if we had one. - Lisa!"
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"Your family must feel free to express itself."
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"I want you to draw for me your fears, your anxieties,"
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"the roots of your unhappiness."
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"Homer?"
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"- Homer? - Sorry, I wasn't paying attention."
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"If you had been paying attention,"
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"- Now, Doctor, that's not true. - Ogre is such a strong word."
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"Right on, Doc! Another successful diagnosis."
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"- That does it! - Whoa!"
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"There's nothing necessarily wrong with hostile conflict."
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"Okay. Let's take another deep, cleansing breath."
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"They'd work much better without the padding, Doc."
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"Yes, well, that concludes this portion of our treatment."
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"- Are we cured yet? - Don't be ridiculous."
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"- Unortho-what? - Don't worry."
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"You have the ability to shock them, and they have the ability to shock--"
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"- Why, you-- - No, Homer, not yet."
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"This is what is known as aversion therapy."
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"When someone hurts you emotionally, you will hurt them physically."
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"And gradually you will learn not to hurt each other at all."
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