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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Adhesive Duck Deficiency (S03E03)

"Sheldon's log."
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"Although my research is going well..."
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"This is Sheldon Cooper."
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"You have no safety mat or adhesive stickers..."
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"Tubs are slippery."
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"- They're holding umbrellas. - Unh."
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"...nor the ability to use umbrellas."
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"Ow!"
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"No one's saying that. Let's go."
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"Look, they gave me homemade cookies."
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"- So, what are we waiting for? - Relax."
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"Mmm."
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"No."
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"Okay, now you gotta help me put these on."
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"What's so funny?"
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"It's your American accent. Everything you say sounds stupid. Ha-ha-ha."
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"According to my Driver's Ed book, the side mirror is properly adjusted..."
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"I would be kind to my rabbit subjects."
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"One day, I hold a great ball for the president of France."
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"Could you please drive a little faster?"
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"I guarantee that if he saw the Enterprise's "check engine" light blinking..."
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"Oh, God, I'm gonna lose the arm."
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"...tattooed on your right buttock?"
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"I know they're poison..."
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"We have to fill these out."
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"- Are you currently pregnant? - No."
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"What the hell does this have to do with my stupid shoulder?"
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"Ahem. I'm sorry."
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"There, there."
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"Will you shut up? We're all hungry."
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"Hot dogs, buns, s'mores. I mean, it's a freaking 7-Eleven."
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"It's so tender, it falls apart in your hands."
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"Me too, but what?"
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"The charm of your drug-addled candor knows no bounds."
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"- Little ball of fur - Soft kitty, warm kitty"
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"- Happy kitty, sleepy kitty - Purr, purr, purr"
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"How much time do we have?"
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"Uh, T-minus five hours, 37 minutes to onset of meteor shower."
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"Okay, our position is 34.48 degrees north, 118.31 west."
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"That means the azimuth should be 168.22 degrees..."
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"...relative to magnetic north with an elevation of 49.93."
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"- Anything yet? - Uh, we have a signal..."
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"- ...but no frame lock. - Hang on. How about now?"
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"We did it. Ha, ha. We have the West Coast feed of HBO."
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"Ooh, Real Sex."
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"Big deal. Every time I watch that..."
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"...it's old women putting condoms on cucumbers."
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"All right, let's see what's on the East Coast feed."
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"Oh, hey. Dune."
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"Not a great movie, but look at that beautiful desert."
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"Too bad Sheldon couldn't come with us."
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"It's just not the same without him."
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"That was good. That was good."
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"Oh, this sucks. I'm switching back to Real Sex."
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"Stardate 63345.3."
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"While my colleagues are off observing the Leonid meteor shower..."
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"...I've remained behind to complete my paper..."
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"...on the decays of highly excited massive string states."
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"...I do miss the warmth of human companionship."
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"And good evening to you, Siam Palace."
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"I'm going to be dining alone this evening..."
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"...so I'll be reducing my usual order."
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"I'd like to start with one quarter of the Assorted Appetizers Plate..."
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"...and one half of the Golden Treasure for two..."
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"Oh, for heaven's sake. In the mid-18th century..."
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"...King Rama IV of Siam divided a huge empire..."
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"...amongst the colonial powers of Europe to preserve his throne."
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"Surely you, his cultural descendant, can handle pad thai and dumplings."
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"Sheldon, help!"
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"I need to go, but you keep in mind..."
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"...that my sharply worded comments on Yelp.com..."
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"...recently took down a local muffin store."
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"Come in! Hurry!"
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"- Penny? - I'm back here."
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"Penny. Penny. Penny."
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"Oh, for God's sakes, I'm in the bathroom."
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"Shall I come back at a better time?"
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"Get in here!"
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"Hurry!"
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"Don't you dare knock."
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"Hello."
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"I slipped in the shower. I think I dislocated my shoulder."
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"Not surprising."
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"...to allow for purchase on a surface with a low coefficient of static friction."
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"What?"
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"I know. I slipped."
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"I have a series of whimsical duck stickers on the bottom of my tub."
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"Whatever. Will you just turn the water off and help me up?"
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"- What? - The ducks in my tub."
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"Unh. Uh-huh."
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"Oh, my God. I gotta go to the emergency room."
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"Assuming you're correct that your humerus..."
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"...is no longer seated in the glenoid socket, I would think so."
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"- Can you drive me? - I don't drive."
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"Well, I can't drive."
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"Well, it seems we've reached an impasse."
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"I could call you a cab or an ambulance."
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"No, no, no, I can't wait that long. You gotta help me. Please?"
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"All right. Let it never be said that Sheldon Lee Cooper..."
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"...ignored the pleas of a damsel in distress."
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"It does seem rather ironic that for want of 99-cent adhesive ducks..."
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"...we both might die in a fiery car crash."
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"I wish Penny didn't have to work. She loves camping."
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"That would've been great. You and Penny having sex in the tent..."
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"...while I sit out here and watch Howard hump a cactus."
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"Okay, the best I can tell, there are eight other campsites nearby."
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"Mostly science nerds like us, but just over yon ridge..."
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"...are two not unattractive middle-school teachers..."
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"...who reek of desperation."
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"- Wonderful. How old are they? - I don't know, 50, 55?"
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"Oh, menopause. Heh."
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"Nature's birth control."
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"Come on. You guys can't be that hard up."
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"- I am. - Yeah, me too."
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"Of course they did. That's what grandmothers do."
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"I said we'd stop by a little later, after they have their nap."
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"- Good idea. They'll be refreshed. - Yeah."
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"- Cookie? - Thank you."
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"- Mm. Not bad. - Yeah, very tasty."
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"Tell me more about these teachers."
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