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Clips from Scrubs - My Jiggly Ball (S05E05)

"And FYI, Tina, the tiny brunette, just got dumped,"
Scrubs
"Seeing an intern tell someone they're gonna die for the first time is strange"
Scrubs
"if they get through it, there's a sense of... accomplishment."
Scrubs
"Good job, man. What'd you say?"
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"implies there's something we can do tomorrow."
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"I also said we'd make him as comfortable as possible."
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"Dead, dying, deadsies, Deadwood, your choice."
Scrubs
"Due to lack of funds, I'm shutting down our baby-mobile,"
Scrubs
"Jerk-Off of the Year. No, Bastard of the Year. Don't you tell me!"
Scrubs
"so figure it out."
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"Hey! I got it!"
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"Reel it in. Take it clockwise! Fight your fear!"
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"You gotta want it, Johnny D!"
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"Oooooooh!"
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"[Chanting] # I don't know, but I believe"
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"the kind that make men cheer and women..."
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"and we'll meet right back here at half past impossible. OK?"
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"I'm not gonna take my psychological evaluations"
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"[J.D.] OK, that was too mean. Apologize."
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"The hell with it. She's not gonna forgive you. Go for broke!"
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"I was watching CNN earlier."
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"Bet you don't know how to play Jiggly Ball."
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"I'm a master of stealth, I can sneak up on anybody."
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"[Brakes screeching]"
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"I've heard of it too. It's so awesome that we've both heard of it."
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"I won't be second-opinioned by a doctor who couldn't carry my jockstrap!"
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"All right, now repeat after me:"
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"Yeah."
Scrubs
"- Sorry, Mr. Morrison. - Keith!"
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"I really appreciate that, sir."
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"Dr. Cox made me give every AC unit in this hospital a Pap smear?"
Scrubs
"if you'll do me a favor and put my patient, Mr. Morrison,"
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"[J.D.] Finally I had something I could say in my speech."
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"- [Choir vocalizing] - Dr. Kelso was an angel."
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"the sooner we can get you back home."
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""Home, street home," huh? [Laughs, snorts]"
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"I'm sorry, that was insensitive."
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"[Knocking]"
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"Frick!"
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"I cannot believe you told these guys."
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"when she was upset, her words just became gibberish."
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"I'm getting tired of you guys constantly saying..."
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"Elliot, nobody but me can understand you."
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"I'd never be as connected to him as you are."
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"Elliot, nobody respects clinic doctors."
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"She and J.D. Used to sleep together."
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"Priscilla, I honestly, on my mother's grave, thought your real name was Carol."
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"The pathology just came back on Dr. Kelso's rich patient."
Scrubs
"[J.D.] I don't know why we were running,"
Scrubs
"because I think we both knew that we couldn't change anything."
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"A best friend stuck in a crappy job..."
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"Maybe, though. Dr. Bailey was fired last night."
Scrubs
"Why?"
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"- You know, in Dr. Bailey's defense... - No, no, no, no."
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"So anyways, we figured if I offered to do the nursing schedules,"
Scrubs
"and these guys volunteered to do shifts at the clinic,"
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"- Kelso might give you your job back. - No, thanks."
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"I got you your job back."
Scrubs
"onto another's body, I am not giving you my hands!"
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"Just a beautiful film. Beautiful."
Scrubs
"You're tickling your hands. Stop! You're tickling your hands."
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"- That's what I'm talkin' about. - 'Course, yours would be brown."
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"We lost him, Newbie."
Scrubs
"But why would you? I'm the smartest, most skilled surgeon in this place."
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"I dropped a quarter in here."
Scrubs
"- wouldn't you? - Depends."
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"- Say there's no women. - There's always women at the pool!"
Scrubs
"- They're infamous for serpents. - You could swim at the Y,"
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"What really bothers me is that you can look in there at John Morrison,"
Scrubs
"a guy you essentially gave a death sentence to..."
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"That one always kills."
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"Everybody else, on my signal, prepare to throw."
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"- [Carla] Good. - Guys, why?"
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"Hey, Kelso's leaving for his award thing,"
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"I use it for official things."
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"But it is officially hot!"
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"because I'm not doing that."
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"Elliot, look, we just care about you."
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"[J.D.] Even though I had no clue what I was gonna say,"
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"Elliot's attitude inspired me to go introduce the hell out of Bob Kelso."
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"- Thank you, Dr. Dorian. - [Applause]"
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"about what I had planned to say in my speech."
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"This guy has an STD, and he definitely doesn't want his wife to find out."
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"I know sometimes even the good things he does are for the wrong reasons."
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"I'd like everyone to welcome back Dr. Reid."
Scrubs
"that I wouldn't want to have to make any of the decisions that he makes."
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"[J.D.] When all is said and done, I'd like to think he does care a little..."
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"Hey, roomie. I'm having the girls from my yoga class over for drinks."
Scrubs
"and she's looking for rebound sex."
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"Honestly, how could I be a better roommate?"
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"[J.D.] She could be half Turk and half Elliot."
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"Hey, dawg, if you die before me, you can play with my boobies while I finish."
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"I died, Turkiot. Hello!"
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"- J.D., what are you doing? - Nothing."
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"It looked like you were thinking about fondling my breasts."
Scrubs
"If that's the case, then stop thinking and start fondling."
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"I don't know."
Scrubs
"Nailed it! Hell, yeah!"
Scrubs
"I told him there's nothing more we can do right now."
Scrubs
"[Both] Ooh."
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"- What? - "Nothing more we can do now""
Scrubs
"Sounds like he's getting new pillows."
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"That man knows he's doomed!"
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"Yeah, I'm gonna need you to go back in there"
Scrubs
"and use some form of the word "die.""
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"- Deadwood?. - You know cowboys used to curse?"
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"I didn't know that."
Scrubs
"Gather round, people! Dr. Kelso has an announcement to make!"
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"That'll be all. You can go back to doing what you were doing."
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"It was my day off."
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"Bottom line: Thinking about knocking up a homeless gal,"
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"I'd do it this weekend."
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"I don't know your name, and you look like that Kentucky Fried Chicken guy."
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"Moving on. This Friday, I am receiving an award from the AMA."
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"Guy I Despise So Much, I'd Pay Someone to Kill Ya,"
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"Stuff Ya and Leave by My Bed, So When I Wake Up in the Morning,"
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"I Could Roll Over and Punch You in the Face..."
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"...of the Year. - And we're back."
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"Anyway, I need one of you attendings to introduce me at the dinner,"
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"- How do we handle this? - Same way we have for years."
Scrubs
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