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Clips from Silicon Valley - The Patent Troll (S04E04)

"Now, listen, Richard, I wouldn't worry so much."
Silicon Valley
"lightning ain't gonna strike twice, is it?"
Silicon Valley
"No."
Silicon Valley
"Would you mind hopping up on that scale for a sec?"
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"I have been working like crazy, eating like crap."
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"It's a loss of mineral bone density."
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"I'll see you then... or whatever's left of you."
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"will be more than satisfactory."
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"and I've actually told quite a few people that I was hired,"
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"so if I wasn't, then it would look like I was fired."
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"No. Laurie..."
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"made by not hiring me."
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"All right, don't hire me."
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"10,000 to go away?"
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"in the VC field right now. I can help you navigate the toxicity"
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"half the finder's fee for me to stay."
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"That's fine. Of course."
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"♪ ♪"
Silicon Valley
"paired with the TZ600."
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"against that cyberterrorist in a vulgar parody of the act of love"
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"is that we finally have a network with real security value."
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"Did you see this? We've only been live for two weeks,"
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"Oh, look at that. Ranked 499."
Silicon Valley
"True, but overall, we're firmly in the top 30,000 Hooli phone apps."
Silicon Valley
"I mean, we may not be a global epidemic yet,"
Silicon Valley
"This warm. This warm."
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"Let me guess. Is it because it's warm?"
Silicon Valley
"Bream-Hall, huh?"
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"Yes, starting today."
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"Hey. None-zo."
Silicon Valley
"Oops, sorry, you broke up. Could you, uh, could you say that again?"
Silicon Valley
"Okay. Cool. I'll text you the deets."
Silicon Valley
"inside of a house with you scrawny code jockeys,"
Silicon Valley
""If your schedule permits, I would love to discuss this with you as soon as possible."
Silicon Valley
"I thought we handled that patent stuff. We own it, right?"
Silicon Valley
"Actually, uh..."
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"his work address is some house in Mountain View."
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"Why don't I go over there, walk him through the app,"
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"Hi. Richard Hendricks. We exchanged e-mails?"
Silicon Valley
"Oh no, not at all. I am an attorney."
Silicon Valley
"No, I sued them."
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"Right."
Silicon Valley
"You see this? This is a song I bought at a copyright auction."
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"and so far has bought me two houses"
Silicon Valley
"to sue writers of all kinds of songs."
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"Anyway, the writers usually settle, pay me off,"
Silicon Valley
"or give me a chunk of their song."
Silicon Valley
"Thanks to "Cancion De Amores" here,"
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"And now, I sue people like you."
Silicon Valley
"Ah, you're getting off easy."
Silicon Valley
""storage of media files on a network.""
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"I mean, that cannot be enforceable."
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"but to find out, you're gonna have to fight him in court."
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"This is a shakedown. He's a crook."
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"And right when our app was getting off the ground."
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"That's how he found you."
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"Guys just landed on the app store"
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"So, Burke starts at the bottom of those lists"
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"and then the last guy to nut has to eat it."
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"Right. Sometimes it's a Wheat Thin."
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"Look, Richie, I get it."
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"maybe... we convince the entire pledge class"
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"♪ ♪"
Silicon Valley
"so you can actually watch the food on your phone."
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"It's bad enough it has to talk."
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"Well, it just makes it sound more human."
Silicon Valley
"Whatever. You gave your server a human name."
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"till it's time to work again. We could all take a page from his book."
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"See? This could've killed me."
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"His fridge, his rules."
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"Fuck."
Silicon Valley
"What time does the game actually start?"
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"It's about to."
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"Come on, baby, come on! Come on, bring it! Unh!"
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"All day."
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"It's a real fucked situation,"
Silicon Valley
"- Did you finish your networking issue? - Nope."
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"You're sitting here, trying to hack Jian-Yang's password"
Silicon Valley
"instead of doing your actual work?"
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"And you have one underpowered laptop,"
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"'cause of the network bug."
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"- added to your shopping list. - Come on."
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"- With? - Microsoft Azure."
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"because we're gonna need it if, or more realistically when,"
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"Richard finally decides to pay that patent troll."
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"I mean, I'm still on hold."
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"It's like they don't even care about small businesses."
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"Jared, they don't care about small businesses."
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"I would transfer people to "my supervisor,""
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"Oh. Uh, yeah, hello."
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"Just, um... do your best Ed Chen impression."
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"What's up? You got Ed Ch... Chambers."
Silicon Valley
"And thanks to Gus of Gigglybots for hosting."
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"Was working with Gavin Belson, yeah."
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"- So, he's not coming? - No. No, not at all."
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"Pied Piper, just like yourselves,"
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"and you guys are aware"
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"He starts with the little guy."
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"Not that I'm little. I'm, uh..."
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"I mean I'm not."
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"It's where guys stand in a circle and masturbate onto a cracker."
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"- Again, I... again... - I don't really know"
Silicon Valley
"um, my lawyer has actually drafted a partnership agreement."
Silicon Valley
"Why don't you all just... Essentially, uh,"
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"we all band together and each contribute $20,000."
Silicon Valley
"We should have more than enough money"
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"to mount a challenge against this guy's patent."
Silicon Valley
"who is forced to eat the biscuit?"
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"I know. That... that's all I'm saying."
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"Like, you know, like a donkey punch, you know?"
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"- It's, uh, when guys... - Just don't. Don't."
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"♪ ♪"
Silicon Valley
"Fine."
Silicon Valley
"Hey, did that pussy Jared keep you on hold long?"
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"I eat that motherfucker's lunch every day."
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"I mean, did you see that?"
Silicon Valley
"of pamplemousse LaCroix at, his words, an amaze-balls price."
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"Wow. Good job, Jared."
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"hath now slain the slimy troll."
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"I got word that you called. I assume you spoke with my attorney,"
Silicon Valley
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