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Clips from King of the Hill - Of Mice and Little Green Men (S06E06)

"I told you that joke. I want to tell it."
King of the Hill
"There was this doctor. And then...."
King of the Hill
"[chuckling] That was pretty funny. Tell it again."
King of the Hill
"Well, okay, son. Just be more careful where you're aiming."
King of the Hill
"Yeah, I know a little bit about that."
King of the Hill
"I've been looking for a vehicle for the two of us."
King of the Hill
"You know, I'd love to. But what I really want to do next is direct."
King of the Hill
"Oh, l...."
King of the Hill
"[screaming] Hot rabbits!"
King of the Hill
"Thanks a lot, son."
King of the Hill
"You're pretty good at rolling over."
King of the Hill
"[chuckling] So, what do you do? You just flick it?"
King of the Hill
"Well, so much for rehearsing my play with Dad."
King of the Hill
"No, honey. I'm sure your father will be back any minute."
King of the Hill
"Sorry, Joseph."
King of the Hill
"I've gotta go play make-believe with Bobby."
King of the Hill
"to practice with a man who can do that."
King of the Hill
"Will l? Yes."
King of the Hill
"Okay."
King of the Hill
"I saw the dinner theater version of it."
King of the Hill
"The roast beef was fantastic."
King of the Hill
"""That's right. It's gonna be nice there."
King of the Hill
"[sniffs]"
King of the Hill
"[doorbell rings]"
King of the Hill
"so I made you a lacrosse goal."
King of the Hill
"Actually, John Redcorn is Joseph's father, but Dale doesn't know that."
King of the Hill
"If Bobby were trying out for a team, I'd help him, too."
King of the Hill
"-Excuse me. Is that seat free? -No."
King of the Hill
"I am the stage mother, Peggy Hill."
King of the Hill
"Dale, if you want to make this a competition, I will win."
King of the Hill
"-[whooping] Go, Joseph! -Go, Joseph, go!"
King of the Hill
"Yeah!"
King of the Hill
"Where's Dad?"
King of the Hill
"I don't know what to do with my hands in real life."
King of the Hill
"Dad?"
King of the Hill
"communicating the, you know, the emotional whatnots."
King of the Hill
"Now that Joseph's hit puberty, the differences are impossible to ignore."
King of the Hill
"I recently saw on the Discovery Channel that it takes nine months to make a baby."
King of the Hill
"Well, nine months before Joseph was born..."
King of the Hill
"Naicy had a horrible headache aid couldi 't tra vel,,,"
King of the Hill
"but I have never been so stupid."
King of the Hill
"Oh, Dale, I'm so sorry."
King of the Hill
"...an alien!"
King of the Hill
"But I was close,"
King of the Hill
"For the past 13 years, I ha ve beei too busy raisiig ai alleged soi,,,"
King of the Hill
"[screaming]"
King of the Hill
"Yep. Spacemen."
King of the Hill
"I guess you're just a crappy dad."
King of the Hill
"(Hank) Bobby?"
King of the Hill
"I know how important that play was to you."
King of the Hill
"Because I'll be doing a lot of that at your next show."
King of the Hill
"so we have no idiot man-child."
King of the Hill
"Dang it! Oh, well."
King of the Hill
"[sniffling]"
King of the Hill
"This is the hardest conversation I've ever had."
King of the Hill
"What are you talking about?"
King of the Hill
"-I am not your real father. -Of course you are."
King of the Hill
"You're telling me I'm from outer space like E.T.?"
King of the Hill
"You're only half-alien and at times can be a tad self-absorbed."
King of the Hill
"Oh, God! I have displeased you."
King of the Hill
"Your mother's sturdy. She can work in the mines."
King of the Hill
"(Bobby) ""And when we put in a crop..."
King of the Hill
"""And rabbits."""
King of the Hill
"""You'd fill up the sack and bring it in and put it in the rabbit cages."""
King of the Hill
"""They'd nibble and they'd nibble the way they do."
King of the Hill
"Hey, let's practice our bows. You go first."
King of the Hill
"The kind of scared you only see in Earth women..."
King of the Hill
"Joseph, you are not an alien."
King of the Hill
"You're being crazy."
King of the Hill
"I bought you a brand new TV."
King of the Hill
"I need to go and live among my own kind."
King of the Hill
"-I'll do it. -Wait a minute."
King of the Hill
"And we may have told them this was Broadway."
King of the Hill
"You drink some, George."
King of the Hill
"You drink some, too."
King of the Hill
"This is not like Bobby."
King of the Hill
"He was so excited about doing the play with you."
King of the Hill
"-The alien has escaped! -What?"
King of the Hill
"Probably as food."
King of the Hill
"And, FYl, Boomhauer said he could see your nipples on stage."
King of the Hill
"some little green man in a tinfoil jumpsuit says, ""Gleep glop""..."
King of the Hill
"It's not gonna happen."
King of the Hill
"Dude, he's coming."
King of the Hill
"Well, sometimes it's better to keep the truth from someone."
King of the Hill
"Now, I'm not saying we're wasting time..."
King of the Hill
"The only lights we're gonna see are the lights of an ambulance..."
King of the Hill
"[groaning]"
King of the Hill
"That's Don Hood, the country's top UFO hunter."
King of the Hill
"-How much? -Half a mayonnaise jar."
King of the Hill
"Hank, you have half a mayonnaise jar?"
King of the Hill
"-Damn it, Dale. You're his real dad. -No, I'm not."
King of the Hill
"When Joseph was a baby, who changed his diapers?"
King of the Hill
"Well, okay. But who taught him how to ride a bike?"
King of the Hill
"He taught Joseph and Joseph taught me."
King of the Hill
"But you were there for every Christmas morning and scraped knee."
King of the Hill
"(woman) Oh, my God!"
King of the Hill
"-Oh, my God! The Marfa Lights! -It's the boys."
King of the Hill
"-Joseph, your dad's here. -I know."
King of the Hill
"No, your Earth dad."
King of the Hill
"-Joseph! -Dad!"
King of the Hill
"stole your genetic material, and then used that to create me?"
King of the Hill
"Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org"
King of the Hill
"It seems a doctor, a lawyer, and a gentleman from Oklahoma--"
King of the Hill
"You'll just ruin it. Let Hank tell it."
King of the Hill
"It's my joke! I'm gonna tell it."
King of the Hill
"I'm okay. I'm okay."
King of the Hill
"Whoa! What the heck kind of ball is this?"
King of the Hill
"Sorry. I'm trying out for the lacrosse team."
King of the Hill
"My son, the jock."
King of the Hill
"With me and your mother as parents, I don't know how you got so athletic."
King of the Hill
"[car radio playing]"
King of the Hill
"Hey, John Redcorn."
King of the Hill
"If Bill wasn't standing there, you would've hit Hank's truck."
King of the Hill
"I just want to thank you all again for having me over tonight."
King of the Hill
"Bill, any time you have a mild concussion, you are welcome at this dinner table."
King of the Hill
"Hank, he is in character."
King of the Hill
"The Arlen Public Library presents OfMice aid Mei,,,"
King of the Hill
"next Friday and Saturday only."
King of the Hill
"Of course, you would know that..."
King of the Hill
"I'm one of the two leads."
King of the Hill
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