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Clips from Family Guy - Boys Do Cry (S05E05)

"God, you are so cool"
Family Guy
"You never answer your cell phone"
Family Guy
"And your messages are often ambiguous"
Family Guy
"A reading from the book of Leviticus."
Family Guy
""Thou shalt not spill thy seed into thy sock,"
Family Guy
""and then cram it to the bottom of the hamper"
Family Guy
"Oh, I am so hungry. Hey, look, they're handing out cookies up there."
Family Guy
"Youse is good churchgoing folk. Y'all deserve a little treat."
Family Guy
"Well, aren't you an enthusiastic wafer muncher."
Family Guy
"Yup."
Family Guy
"- That baby just threw up the host! - That's a sign of the devil!"
Family Guy
"- Oh, my God, is he possessed? - He's possessed!"
Family Guy
"That baby is possessed by Satan!"
Family Guy
"I'll take him home. Come on, sweetie."
Family Guy
"What a horrible morning."
Family Guy
"But I guess that's too much to ask."
Family Guy
"Good afternoon, Mrs. Griffin. We're here to take custody of your baby"
Family Guy
"so that the good reverend here can perform an exorcism"
Family Guy
"Mrs. Griffin, you can give him to us, or we can take him by force."
Family Guy
"- No! - Don't worry, Lois."
Family Guy
"We'll hide in the one place they can't find us."
Family Guy
"Where you burp where you fart and you fart where you burp."
Family Guy
"Indeed, that's how it happens."
Family Guy
"Where're we going?"
Family Guy
"We're going to Texas. We can stay at my sister Carol's place until this blows over."
Family Guy
"Texas? We're going to Texas in search of religious tolerance?"
Family Guy
"That's gonna be like trying to get Sneakers O'Toole to take his sneakers off."
Family Guy
"- No! - Take them off, I said!"
Family Guy
"No!"
Family Guy
"Holy crap!"
Family Guy
"Authorities are on the lookout for one-year-old Stewie Griffin,"
Family Guy
"A substantial reward is being offered for any information leading to his capture."
Family Guy
"but suddenly, she yelled, so I looked up and it was Bigfoot."
Family Guy
"All right, get your snacks, and hurry out, you guys."
Family Guy
"Yeah. Yeah, that's what kids want with their chocolate, fruit."
Family Guy
"Why don't you put sunflower seeds in the Ding Dongs while you're at it?"
Family Guy
"Have you seen anyone who looks like this?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, that's my son. He's actually in the Mini Mart right now."
Family Guy
"I mean, I mean, no. No, never seen him before."
Family Guy
"Hmm..."
Family Guy
"What was that first thing you said?"
Family Guy
"Oh, I was just saying that baby in the picture is my son."
Family Guy
"He's traveling with us. He's part of our family."
Family Guy
"I mean, I was just remarking what a nice tie you have on."
Family Guy
"Did you hear that cashier's accent?"
Family Guy
"" Would you like some change please, for you?""
Family Guy
"You know, if it weren't for 9/11, those guys would be adorable."
Family Guy
"Quick, into the bathroom!"
Family Guy
"We're gonna have to come up with a way to change your appearance."
Family Guy
"I'm already standing in urine, and I hate the person I'm with."
Family Guy
"Boy, that was a close one back there. Way to think on your feet, Brian."
Family Guy
"She won't care, Chris. She's off on her ninth honeymoon."
Family Guy
"When will it work for her?"
Family Guy
"We're the Lynches. We live next door."
Family Guy
"Nice to meet you. We're the Griffins."
Family Guy
"Nellie here is a homemaker, and I'm a queer chaser and beater."
Family Guy
"Lois, I'm not sure this is the right place for us."
Family Guy
"These Texans are socially backward and politically, they're all stubborn as a mule."
Family Guy
"- Of course he was. He was the star. - No, you're wrong. Look it up."
Family Guy
"I don't have to look it up. It's common knowledge."
Family Guy
"...Kevin Bacon was the star of Footloose. - No, no, no!"
Family Guy
"- It was a huge movie. He was the lead. - No, no, no, no!"
Family Guy
"No, no, no..."
Family Guy
"A needlepoint of Chuck Norris from Walker, Texas Ranger."
Family Guy
"You know, they say Chuck Norris is so tough,"
Family Guy
"there's no chin under his beard."
Family Guy
"- There is only another fist. - That's ridiculous."
Family Guy
"Chuck Norris?"
Family Guy
"Lois, we're living in a red state with a bunch of right-wing nut jobs."
Family Guy
"Howdy, Texas, I'm Duke Dillon."
Family Guy
"of a fugitive Rhode Island baby who was thought to be possessed by the devil."
Family Guy
"Oh, thank God."
Family Guy
"This turn of events came after Vatican scientists announced today"
Family Guy
"due to last week's discovery of the super devil."
Family Guy
"Thanks, Duke."
Family Guy
"The super devil is at least 6 inches taller."
Family Guy
"He has a flying motorcycle"
Family Guy
"and a jar of marmalade that we believe forces you to commit adultery."
Family Guy
"Thanks a lot, Dallas."
Family Guy
"Looks like we've all got something new to be afraid of."
Family Guy
"Everyone, it's over. We can go back to Quahog."
Family Guy
"Oh, just that I think you're gonna love this cake."
Family Guy
"None for me, thanks. It's gonna go straight to my vagina."
Family Guy
"That's what girls worry about, right? Having big vaginas?"
Family Guy
"Chris, we're in Texas now. If I'm not riding a horse,"
Family Guy
"Hey, you want this? Huh? You want some of this?"
Family Guy
"Oh, man, look at your rack. I'd motorboat that."
Family Guy
"I'd motorboat the hell out of it. Right after this layback spin."
Family Guy
"Is that, like, a special you have on now or something?"
Family Guy
"Nope, Texas state law. You have a nice day now."
Family Guy
"State law?"
Family Guy
"God, this place officially sucks worse than the WNBA."
Family Guy
"And at the top of the second half, it's 16 to 9."
Family Guy
"Easton leads the scoring with four."
Family Guy
"And that's why she commands $7,000 a year."
Family Guy
"These gals sure do make it look difficult."
Family Guy
"But is having this minor skill worth being so unattractive?"
Family Guy
"Huh."
Family Guy
"Been a long day, Lois. Long day."
Family Guy
"Peter, what the hell? You can't bring that horse into our bed!"
Family Guy
"Lois, I cannot believe you would ban the horse from our bed."
Family Guy
"who is a part of this family and only wants your love and respect."
Family Guy
"The horse may have pooped in the bed."
Family Guy
"Wow, this is the coolest club I've ever been in."
Family Guy
"- You got to pass the initiation. - What do we have to do?"
Family Guy
"and steal a pair of George Bush's underwear."
Family Guy
"Boy, that's even kinkier than the porn they make for senior citizens."
Family Guy
"- Who drove you there? - My nephew."
Family Guy
"Oh!"
Family Guy
"That was nice of him."
Family Guy
"Are those new slacks?"
Family Guy
"It's what you do when you're in Texas."
Family Guy
"Oh, lovely. A first-class ticket to a semen-covered death in the basement."
Family Guy
"- Hi, Stephanie. - What's your talent?"
Family Guy
"I sing, I do gymnastics, and I can play seven instruments at the same time."
Family Guy
"There it is. The Crawford Ranch."
Family Guy
"I can't believe we're actually doing this."
Family Guy
"What a bonding adventure for the two of us."
Family Guy
"Settle down, Meg. Okay, I see old man Cheney guarding the place."
Family Guy
"I'll give you 18% of my foot in your ass."
Family Guy
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