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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Tangerine Factor (S01E01)

"I assumed, as in a number of languages, that the gesture was part of the phrase."
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"As teacher, it's your obligation to separate your personal idiosyncrasies..."
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"Hey."
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"I believe the Szechuan Palace has been passing off orange chicken..."
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"- I need to use your window. - Oh, hey. Yeah, no, sure, go ahead."
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"And if the moment feels right, see if you can cop a feel."
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"I don't care. She's upset, I'm going over there."
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"Tell me the truth."
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"I just wanna crawl into a hole and die."
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"It just paints the picture of a very affectionate woman..."
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"...but in his own stupid way was just trying to show people how he feels."
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"Howard, I'm going to need another Mandarin lesson."
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"Boy, that story gets better every time you hear it."
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"I thought the first two renditions were far more compelling."
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"Just eat your tangerine chicken."
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"What about you what?"
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"Yes, what?"
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"Well, Raj can't talk to me unless he's drunk."
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"Well, he didn't actually say anything."
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"You see, I don't spend much time here, and so I've never chosen a place to sit."
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"I don't really know who they are--"
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"Would you be open to rotating the couch clockwise 30 degrees?"
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"No, that's Mrs. Grossinger."
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"She doesn't have a cat, she has a Mexican hairless. Annoying little animal. Yip-yip-yip."
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"Well, of course you don't get it. I haven't made it yet."
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"It is only by opening the box that you'll find out which it is."
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"No, no, no."
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"Other people would say, "Why not?""
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"- Right. - You also made a grammatical mistake."
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"- Hi. - Hi."
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"What's this?"
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"That's what you did."
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"- Well, it's not. - Why am I supposed to know that?"
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"...from the subject matter."
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"- I'm glad you decided to learn Mandarin. - Why?"
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"Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me."
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"You just called Leonard a syphilitic donkey."
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"My apologies, Leonard. I'm only as good as my teacher."
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"Why are you learning Chinese?"
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"...as tangerine chicken, and I intend to confront them."
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"If I were you, I'd be more concerned about what they're passing off as chicken."
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"Hey, jerk face. You forgot your iPod."
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"- What's going on? - I'll tell you what's going on."
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"That stupid, self-centered bastard wrote about our sex life in his blog."
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"Drop dead, you stupid, self-centered bastard."
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"Thank you."
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"Okay, where were we?"
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"Not now. I have a blog to find."
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"Penny, are you okay?"
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"I'm fine, Leonard. Just go away."
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"I understand that breaking up with someone can be very painful--"
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"- Go away! - Okay, feel better, bye."
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"She doesn't wanna talk."
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"Not surprising."
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"Penny's emotional responses originate in the primitive portion of brain, the amygdala."
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"While speech is centered in the recently developed neocortex."
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"Former can overpower the latter giving scientific credence..."
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"...to the notion of being rendered speechless."
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"Or maybe she just doesn't wanna talk."
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"Hey, look, I found an iPod."
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"It's smashed beyond repair. What are you gonna do with it?"
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"What else? Sell it on eBay as slightly used."
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"It was Penny's boyfriend's. They broke up."
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"Apparently, he posted intimate details of their physical relationship on his blog..."
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"...which I cannot find anywhere."
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"You know what? I'm gonna go back and try talking to her again."
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"Good idea. Sit with her, hold her, comfort her."
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"I'm not going to do that, Howard."
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"I'm not aware of any social convention that requires you to intervene at all."
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"What about damsel in distress?"
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"Twelfth-century code of chivalry? Not exactly current."
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"You'd also have to be knighted for that to apply."
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"Remember to sit on your hands a bit so they're warm."
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"I'm her friend. I'm not going to take advantage of her vulnerability."
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"So you're saying, if in the depths of despair she throws herself at you..."
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"...and demands you take her right there, right now, you'll just walk away?"
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"I said I'm her friend, not her gay friend."
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"Hey, I know you said you didn't wanna talk--"
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"- I don't. - Okay, sorry."
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"- Wait. - Wait. Did you say wait?"
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"Am I just an idiot who picks giant losers?"
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"No, no."
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"Okay, so I pick good guys, but turn them into losers?"
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"Of course not."
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"Well, it's gotta be one or the other. Which is it?"
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"I'm sorry. What were the choices again?"
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"I really thought Mike was different."
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"I thought he was sensitive and smart."
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"I mean, not you smart."
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"- Normal non-freaky smart. - Yeah, no, sure."
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"You know, and then he just goes and has to humiliate me..."
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"...by writing about me on his blog so the entire world can read it."
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"Actually, it's not all that easy to find."
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"Yeah, really? Well, my friends at work found it, my sister found it."
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"Judging by my e-mail, a number of prisoners at the Michigan State Penitentiary found it."
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"What exactly did this guy write?"
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"Not that I need to know the details of your sex life."
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"I just thought...."
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"Never mind."
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"No, you know what?"
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"Might as well read it, everybody else has. Go ahead."
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"Oh, God, I just feel so betrayed and embarrassed."
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"Okay, well, you know, this isn't that bad."
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"...who's open to expressing her affection in nontraditional locales."
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"Oh, God."
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"Elevators, parks, movie theaters."
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"...is this subway, the transportation system, or Subway, the sandwich shop?"
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"Sandwich shop."
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"Doesn't that violate the health code or...?"
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"No, at the sub shop, we were only making out."
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"But my point is that you have absolutely no reason to be embarrassed."
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"Really? Do you think I overreacted?"
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"- Maybe a little. - Because I do that, I do overreact."
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"- Maybe I should call Mike and apologize. - No, no."
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"No, that would be under-reacting."
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"He did break the implied confidentiality of the bedroom..."
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"...and in your case, the elevator, parks and fast-food franchise."
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"Yes, you're right."
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"I should just say I am done with him."
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"Yes you should. Go ahead, say it."
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