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Clips from South Park - Turd Burglars (S23E23)

"♪ Headin' down to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪"
South Park
"♪ So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪"
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"[ Groaning ]"
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"[ Farting continues ]Ohhh, sorry."
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"Your mommy has a bacterial infection"
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"A bacterial infection? In her stomach?"
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"All of us have trillions of microscopic critters"
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"are being overrun by bad bacteria."
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"We can't use antibiotics because that will"
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"So, what can you do for her?"
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"We need to take a healthy person's microbiome"
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"We do this with a fecal transplant."
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"and put it up your mom's anus."
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"Try not to worry."
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"Oh! Hi, Laura!"
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"A fecal transplant."
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"Sheila, is that you? I thought you were sick!"
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"I was, but I had a fecal transplant."
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"Well, that certainly is..."
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"interesting."
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"Germs, bugs, thousand of organisms"
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"That remote control your holding --"
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"Now, scratch your balls."
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"Go on."
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"And trillions and trillions live inside your body."
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"only half are human cells."
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"[ Classical music plays ]"
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"My allergy to shellfish has literally gone away."
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"Oh, my gosh. That's so wonderful!"
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"um, the girls and I were talking..."
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"and we thought how nice it would be for us..."
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"Well, thing is, we asked our doctors"
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"to share everything with my friends."
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"Oh, this is Kyle. Sorry, girls, let me take this."
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"How much of a bitch can you be? Won't share your feces?"
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"Fuck her."
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"half..."
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"They're inside me right now,"
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"The bookcase..."
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"The bookcase!"
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"[ Screams ]"
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"that are alive inside you."
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"[ Spits ] Ha!"
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"I've been looking all over town for you!"
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"a little of your mom's poop and put it in this jar?"
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"No! Yes!"
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"That is disgusting! Absolutely not."
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"I heard you can customize your own light saber."
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"we won't get that game till Christmas."
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"[ Pipes squeaking ]"
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"She's in!"
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"You think she'll poop a big enough log?"
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"Kyle: The fuck are you doing?"
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"Oh, hey, Kyle. What's goin' on?"
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"People are finding new and exciting ways to get healthy,"
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"and everyone just seems fine with it."
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"skinny people's microbiomes to be skinny"
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"to work really hard on his diet and stuff."
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"The Spice."
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"Announcer: And now back to "One For the Ladies"!"
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"It used to be that watch store."
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"Fecal transplant. It's true what they say."
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"I thought the doctor wouldn't give you"
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"It's a private matter, a fecal transplant."
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"I'd really rather not talk about it."
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"You know what she said about you at lunch?"
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"Clearly, she couldn't stand that you were"
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"because some rumors are floating around the school, mkay."
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"and I want some answers."
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"It's a single player game, I believe."
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"Wouldn't know."
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"Oh, because I could get you each your own copy."
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"You want us to steal"
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"Not Kyle's mom's."
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"It was, uh..."
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"Questions? Yeah."
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"No, guys, I'm not gonna take any requests for my microbiome."
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"I'm not gonna tell you guys where I'm doing"
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"because then you're all gonna try"
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"so unless you have a football question,"
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"They are inside me."
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"Are they a part of me?"
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"When I eat, they eat."
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"♪♪"
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"You have to understand,"
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"a lot of people want things from Tom Brady."
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"Well, since you're his publicist we thought that..."
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"Let me... see what I can do."
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"Oh, thanks girlfriend."
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"not cheating, like that bitch Harriot."
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"There you are, you Goddamn bitch!"
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"It has to be from your feces!"
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"Oh, you're all backstabbing bitches now!"
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"Uhhh-- Okay, ladies. come on --"
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"You thought you were such hot shit, Harriot."
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"and put it up our asses with a Turkey baster!"
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"Announcer: We now return to "One for the Ladies.""
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"[ Roars ]"
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"Cartman: I wonder why everyone keeps taking really long pauses"
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"when some women got sick on everybody."
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"by giving themselves DIY fecal transplants."
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"a common household turkey baster."
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"around Thanksgiving."
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"And then, the ladies went and stuck it up their asses."
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"With how contagious C-diff is, and how deadly,"
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"Getting a little interview."
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"who's dying, just like your friend."
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"It is here in this house."
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"They all deceive you, Mr. Brady!"
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"Come on. Let's go."
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"going to my basement and screwing with my plumbing."
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"Never, in my wildest dreams, did I believe"
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"I mean, you'd all do the same thing"
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"That's good. Stay still. Almost there."
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"Oh, Sheila, I'm so sorry for stealing your feces."
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"And we're sorry for stealing it from you, Harriot."
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"I hope we can all be besties again."
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"you'd be dead -- and also responsible"
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"Well, I think we've all learned something."
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"[ Laughter ]"
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